


Alms for Oblivion

by Hermaline75



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: All the time, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diplomacy, Intersex Loki, Jotunheim Won the War, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Single-Gendered Race, Slow Burn, Vaginal Sex, all the cliches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-04-20 03:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 56
Words: 56,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14252379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermaline75/pseuds/Hermaline75
Summary: A millenia after his sister fell in the war with Jotunheim, young Prince Thor is sent, underprepared and ill-informed, as an ambassador to help improve thawing relations.What secrets have been kept from him about the old days?And why do they keep making him spend time with the youngest prince?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Infinity War? What's that? I'm just hanging out in a nice Jotunheim Wins AU.

Thor shivered, even as he knew it was ridiculous. He couldn't possibly feel the cold yet. The portal wasn't even open and he was well wrapped up anyway.

He just didn't want to go, that was the main issue. Yes, relations between their realms had been improving of late, but all the same. Going alone into a realm of... Of killers? This felt foolhardy.

And normally it was other people telling him that.

What had entered his father's head that he was willing to send his only surviving child to the place his first born had been murdered? Could he really trust the Giants so soon? A thousand years was nothing, not really, even if it was Thor's whole life.

A whole lifetime that Hela could have lived if they hadn't killed her.

A dark part of him wondered if he was bait. An excuse to restart the war. He was practically being dangled in front of them. As a hostage, as another victim; victory was one thing but they'd suffered great losses too. Wounds were still raw, even for those who didn't remember the battles.

He ought to know. Hela's portrait had gazed down over him for much of his life. Memorials, really. Most in her ceremonial clothes, her standard of green and black, a beatific smile playing about her lips.

But one or two in her full armour. The spiked helmet, the weapons. The way she'd been when she fell. Father didn't like looking at those ones very often.

Sometimes Thor still felt like he lived in her shadow. She'd had so many skills that he didn't; magic, speed, drive...

And, of course, she'd martyred herself for the realm. That was pretty hard to compete with.

That was the whole reason he'd agreed to go on this trip in the first place. Couldn't shake that little voice in his head that said Hela would have gone, gladly. Anything for the service of the throne and the people.

His mother fussed over his layers of clothes. Odin's second wife. At least she appreciated him for his own advantages and qualities. Putting on a brave face for her was easy enough.

"A grand adventure, Mother," he said. "And a chance to celebrate our growing friendship."

"Take care of yourself, that's all I ask."

"I shall."

Odin merely pat him on the back, a grim smile beneath his eye patch. His own mark of the war. Nothing more to say.

Nothing more to delay him.

He turned to Heimdall, the gatekeeper's cool gaze falling on him.

"I shall watch over you, my lord."

Thor offered him a nod and hoped those unsettling eyes couldn't see just how nervous he was. He'd been to other realms before, of course, but not alone. And not somewhere that had only recently ceased to be a hostile territory.

They'd had a celebratory feast for his departure, for all he'd only be gone a short while, and it had been difficult not to think of it as the carousing that warriors used to take part in before a great battle.

Apparently Hela could drink whole battalions under the table and still be up before them, perfectly refreshed.

Still, he was glad he'd not had much appetite for ale. Feeling worse for wear could only make this more awful as the room's walls began to spin, powering up, the doorway beginning to glow and pulsate.

"Farewell," Thor said, wishing he had something better to say as he settled his pack more firmly on his back and stepped forward with more bravery than he felt.

It was always something of an ordeal to travel by Bifrost, the lights and colours, the rushing sound. And knowing where he was going...

They were waiting for him. He took the impact in his knees, just as he'd always been taught. And immediately he had the strange sensation of being very, very small, a group of warriors looking at him with curious red eyes.

And they were clearly warriors. They wore armour and carried large ice weapons, some blunt clubs and some blades, clearly sharp as razors.

"Prince Thor of Asgard?"

"The same."

"King Laufey awaits you in the palace. Come."

He had to take about three steps for every one of theirs, giving him the unpleasant memory of being a child, constantly rushing to keep up with adults' strides.

He ought to be paying more attention. Had he come at night? It seemed very dark here, the only light silver from triple moons hanging in a purplish sky. He couldn't tell if the large shapes he could see in the distance were mountains or ice bergs. And was this frost underfoot or some kind of plant?

His escort led him through a stone city, their thick furred boots almost silent on the ground. Was his arrival being kept secret? Certainly, there were no watching eyes in any of the buildings.

None he could see, anyway.

The palace was carved into the very rocks themselves, great pillars and statues and turrets with spires of ice. Thor longed to see it in daylight. He imagined how beautiful it would be, once the faint glittering he could see was more of a gleaming shine.

The doors swung open and closed like the wings of some terrible bird, like he'd been carried off to an eagle's nest to be devoured by its chicks.

At least there was more light inside. Witch lights mostly, some candles. Opulent. He wondered if it was for his benefit or a normal display for when the king sat in court.

He could see Laufey now and tried to ignore the shiver that ran down his spine. He'd only seen pictures before. When had those lines grown on his face? Had he always been so thin?

His footsteps echoed around the cavernous room. There were hardly any people here. Guards, Laufey, and some others seated by his side. A wife? Children? It was difficult to say.

And then Thor's eyes fell on something very strange indeed. A creature with all the look of a Frost Giant but closer to him in stature. A child, perhaps?

He had seen drawings of Jotun children before, though, and they had always looked... Well, like children. Slightly chubby, those odd proportions. This one looked like a man, a grown man. Just smaller than the rest of them.

There would be time for curiosity later. For the moment, Thor bowed low, keen to appear suitably reverent.

"King Laufey," he began. "I am Prince Thor of Asgard. I bring tidings of friendship and reconciliation from my realm and household. My thanks for welcoming me to your palace."

It felt very stilted to say such things. Like the words were awkward shapes in his mouth.

"Arise, Prince Thor. I trust you had a pleasant journey?"

"Indeed, Majesty. Thank you."

A vague nod followed by a barely concealed yawn.

"I fear our realms operate on different schedules. We would normally have retired some time ago. My apologies. Of course, we have prepared a meal for you, but afterwards I would recommend sleeping if you can. It will help you adjust."

At least it would help delay the awkwardness. Thor nodded carefully. He hadn't slept particularly well the past night. Perhaps it would be good for him.

"My third son, Prince Loki, will be hosting you. His furniture should be best suited to your stature."

He had gestured to the smallest Jotun. Was he to be shipped off to the nursery? No offence meant, most likely.

"I will consider it an honour."

Laufey gave him a grim smile.

Perhaps he was just as unhappy to have him as Thor was to be there.

For some reason, that was not a particularly comforting thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Prince Loki smiled at him, a strange expression that didn't reach his bright red eyes, and took him to his rooms. The door was just as big as all the others, but inside everything was far smaller and more familiar for Thor. Ordinary sized couch and table, accessible shelving decorated with interesting artifacts.

"We weren't sure when you would arrive," Loki said apologetically. "So I'm afraid it's a cold dinner."

"I'm sure it will be delicious."

He had expected to eat alone, but no such luck. Or rather he was the only one eating. Loki seemed very intent on looking at him. Perhaps he'd never seen an Asgardian before, not up close. And Thor could hardly deny being equally curious. Though he tried not to stare, he was interested in the ridges upon Loki's face and the strange fabrics he wore, so much thinner than he would have expected.

For a while, they merely regarded one another as Thor ate - he wasn't quite sure what it was, though he would guess a type of fish - until the silence felt too much.

"How old are you?"

He had innocently assumed it was a fairly straightforward question. More fool him.

"We do not count time in the same way you do. I'm not sure of the exact conversion."

"Alright. Well, I was born just as the war was ending. How long after that, approximately?"

"About the same time, in fact."

Thor felt his eyebrows fly up without his permission and Loki chuckled nervously.

"Not what you expected?"

"Well, I..."

Would it be offensive to admit how his height had mislead him? Or was he not yet grown despite his age? Maybe it took longer for them to reach maturity. Perhaps such height took time. Perhaps by Jotun standards he was still very young.

Thor felt he ought to have read more. He knew his history, of course, and had some grasp of the geography, but he'd never really studied the people. Not beyond knowing a few names. He felt very under-prepared for this interview.

"They... They didn't tell you about me," Loki said, a statement, not a question.

"I fear I know nothing of the royal family. And precious little of the realm as a whole."

"Ask anything you like. I promise not to be hurt."

This felt very much like a trap. Thor was in no mood to parade his ignorance quite so soon after meeting. He wasn't sure of Loki. That false smile, this soft tone of voice that somehow felt forced... It would be unwise to trust so very quickly. Things might not be as they seemed.

But it would be rude not to ask something now...

"Your father said you were his third son?"

A little frown, confused.

"My father? When did you meet him?"

Thor blinked at him. Was this some sort of joke or game?

"In the hall when I arrived."

"Oh!" And Loki laughed, his flowing sleeves billowing as he covered his face. "No, Laufey is my mother."

Alright, he was definitely being made fun of. That couldn't possibly be true. He was _King_ Laufey, after all. Still, he was nothing if not game, thinking to play along and let Loki think him stupid. It might make things easier if they underestimated him.

"I'm sorry. I was misinformed."

"Do you mean to say Odin is your... your father, not your mother?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then how can he be sure you are his child?"

Was that an insult?

"What exactly are you implying about my mother?" Thor asked, trying to keep his tone on the right side of angry. "She is my father's wife, after all."

Loki's eyebrows rose, nodding like he understood suddenly.

"Ah, they are paired. I see."

That seemed an odd way of putting it. It was almost like they were suffering a translation error. Not fully understanding one another.

Or Loki was having fun at his expense. That might be closer to the truth.

"Is he also Hela's father, then?"

Typical. Of course she'd come up.

"Yes. Though she had a different mother."

A confused look, but no further questions. It seemed they were mutually perplexed by one another.

"Am I keeping you awake?" Thor said, finishing his food.

"I am often up late. Would you like a tea to help you sleep? Since it must be so early for you."

And risk being killed while defenseless? Not likely.

"No, thank you."

Loki showed him to the room where he'd sleep and he almost felt bad for being so suspicious. There had clearly been great pains taken to make him comfortable. The bed was piled high with blankets and furs, the floor with rugs, the walls decorated and insulated with hangings. He would examine them closely later.

"Do you know how to operate the light?" Loki asked.

"Of course," Thor said, stroking the glowing orb with a finger to dim it. "My mother used to conjure small ones for me when I was a child."

Loki smiled, or rather turned his lips upwards, and bid him goodnight. Thor felt he could finally relax to at least some degree at last.

It was warmer in here than he had expected. Perhaps they had some kind of magical heating.

He ought to sleep, but he couldn't, not yet. He was too confused. Either Loki was deliberately making fun of him or he was woefully uneducated about almost everything in this entire realm. Which was worse?

He would have to tread very carefully. Perhaps he was being set up. A joke, a prank. Making fun of the stupid Asgardian.

_Do you know he believed when I said Laufey gave birth to me? What a fool._

His parents had been planning this trip for some time. They'd told him it would be fine. It was a trade discussion.

And now here he was, unsure if he was being offended or offensive or neither or both.

Tomorrow, he'd have to make a real effort to be charming. He could turn this around.

Probably.


	3. Chapter 3

He slept in fits and starts, at times getting good quality rest thanks to the dark and quiet, at other times straining his ears to hear things he was convinced were just beyond his earshot.

More than once, he was sure he heard Loki's voice, for instance. Like he was having a conversation with someone.

"Yes, I know," he was saying the second time. "I understand, but..."

Thor sat up and illuminated his witch light. The voices stopped immediately.

Could they see him somehow? Did the light shine under the door? Or was the orb lit with Loki's magic, could he feel when Thor interacted with it?

He knew that culturally magic was treated differently here. Where at home it was generally used only by healers, here everyone studied at least a little. It had been part of what surprised them on the battlefield, that Hela and Father were such powerful mages, able to counteract their efforts. Was it strange for the prince to illuminate his own rooms? Perhaps not.

Who had he been talking to though? His fath... To Laufey?

Well, it made sense that he might have wanted to check in on a guest. Make sure everything was going well.

There had been something about Loki's voice, though. It had sounded a little different somehow.

Probably nothing. Having one tone for a stranger and a different one for more familiar figures was normal, wasn't it? Suspecting ulterior motives right from the off was not perhaps the most diplomatic of things.

But surely caution was necessary? They'd murdered his sister...

During a war, yes, but all the same. They could have taken her prisoner and they did not. They were ruthless, unflinching. They might not hesitate to do him harm.

As he lay awake, staring at where he thought the ceiling was, he felt less prepared than ever to be here.

It felt warmer than he expected when he finally braved getting up, so much so that he decided he could forego some of his layers as he crept out of the room.

Loki was doing a wonderful impression of someone who was not waiting. He was dressed more casually to Thor's eyes, slightly looser clothes, and staring at a book. Very evidently not reading it though.

He looked up and gave Thor a bright smile, like he was pleased to see him. In the bright, twinkling lights, he wasn't overly unattractive, as Jotuns went, Thor supposed. Maybe it was the hair. None of the others he'd seen had hair whereas Loki had a long braid looping over his shoulder.

It added a little to his concern that Loki was young, whether literally or culturally. Perhaps hair cutting was a rite of passage or some such.

If only there was a polite way he could ask...

"How did you sleep?"

"Er... Well, I'm sure I'll get onto the schedule soon. But the bed was very comfortable. Will we breakfast here?"

He was hoping to be taken to Laufey. This was a diplomatic mission, demonstrating his - and therefore Asgard's - desire for closer relations.

No offence to Loki, but he wasn't intending to spend all his time with a third-born son who might not even be in his majority.

"I can have food brought if you are hungry. We only take the evening meal in the great hall and I'm afraid I can't face food this early in the day."

Eating alone was not exactly Thor's favourite pastime, so he declined as politely as he could.

"Very well," Loki said. "In that case, if you're ready, I am charged with the happy task of showing you around the palace. And answering any questions you might have."

His speaking seemed... strange. Stilted. As though he was reading from some internal script. It put Thor on edge. It wasn't nice to feel that something was being hidden from him. Or that he was indeed being palmed off on a younger son and kept out of the way of proper business.

Still, seeing the palace and getting some explanations for surface matters would help him not seem quite so ignorant perhaps.

He'd almost forgotten that everything around them was going to be enormous. Loki's rooms were clearly built for him specifically.

A lot of trouble to go to if he was only going to grow out of them.

The palace was certainly impressive. Beautifully carved from stone and decorated with geodes and shining marble, art and statues.

No wood, though. It didn't seem to grow here. Even the picture frames were glass or stone.

"Your furniture was wooden," Thor said uncertainly, feeling he ought to ask questions since the offer was there.

"Yes. It was imported especially for me from Vanaheim."

"My mother's homeland. Have you visited?"

"No. I am not generally taken on inter-realm excursions."

"Too young?"

Loki gave him a strange look. Not confused. Offended.

"We are the same age," he said, very cold suddenly.

"Oh... Yes, but I thought... That is, I wondered..."

A sigh. A heavy sigh. And then words just shy of very snippy.

"I can see you've been dying to ask. Yes, I am small. No, I am not a child. I am as large as I will ever grow. And I had rather assumed that Odin would have informed you of my condition before you came."

"I'm not sure he knows. Or maybe he didn't think it relevant."

Rolling eyes. But then the smile again, the forced one. Like a mask falling back into place.

"Well, no matter. I'm not ashamed of how I am. And now you can stop fearing that they have left an infant in charge of you. Come, let us visit the main court next. I do not believe it is in session."

Back to that stiff manner of speech. So ceremonious. He'd only let the veneer slip for a moment and really only because Thor had upset him.

This was not how to be diplomatic, was it?

"I am truly sorry for offending you," Thor said quietly, hoping his sincerity was clear. "It was not intentional. I fear I am terribly ignorant. I will try to do better."

Another sigh, but softer this time.

"You meant no hurt or insult. And I am used to being pathologised. I haven't been mistaken for a child in a few centuries, that's all."

Not the best of starts. Thor knew he'd have to be on his very best behaviour around the rest of the royal family.

Perhaps they would not be quite so forgiving.


	4. Chapter 4

Thor had expected court to be the room he had first entered, but apparently not. It was a far more intimate affair, in as much as any room built for people nearly twice his height could be considered intimate.

There was a throne, and there were other chairs, but according to Loki most people stood, approached close. No one had to shout their request to a distant king like at home.

"Why is it not in session today?" Thor asked, admiring the leadwork on the large window that dominated one of the walls.

"Father is meeting with his advisors."

"Father? I thought you said..."

"I think it's best if you think of him that way. I did some reading this morning and I think I understand where the confusion has arisen. We are built differently, that's all."

This was a very strange turn. What did he mean? Of course they were built differently. Some of them were giants...

"They really didn't tell you anything, did they?" Loki asked, watching his face. "They just sent you here to flounder."

He seemed pitying and Thor couldn't help but be a little put off. He wasn't a complete fool. It wasn't his fault that nothing here made sense.

"I'm supposed to be here for trade and to help improve relations between our realms, not to become a cultural expert. If you say he's your father now, fine, I won't question that."

He almost wanted to walk away, but that would be impractical. He couldn't go and hide in his room like a petulant child, after all.

Loki's false smile was really getting on his nerves for one thing. Even now, he was wearing it, his purplish lips stretched into a thin curve.

"Why do you have hair when no others do?"

A rude question, perhaps, but he was in a mood to be rude suddenly.

Loki seemed to hesitate slightly.

"It's my choice," he said. "The fashion is to shave, but I am already so different that I see no sense in even trying to fit in."

A little pang of guilt. Yes, Loki was a little condescending, but he seemed rather isolated. Living in a world that was too big. Misunderstandings were not worth developing a real dislike over.

Diplomacy, he told himself. Help gloss over this.

"I am out of my depth, Prince Loki. I am unused to feeling so..."

"Stupid?"

"I was going to say unprepared."

An amused hum that seemed genuine. Self-deprecation might be the way to smooth this out.

"Everything here is foreign to me," Thor said, scrambling his way up into one of the large chairs. "Please imagine that my knowledge of everything is minimal. Even the most natural things in the world. I feel it will save some time."

Loki's ascension to a seat was far more elegant.

"Tell me what you do know. Give me an idea of what we're working with."

Ah. Oh, dear.

Time to break out those diplomatic skills more seriously...

"Jotunheim is a powerful and prosperous realm, full of minerals. Its people are often skilled sorcerers. Their ruler is Laufey, a king with three... sons."

He felt a bit like he was reciting a lesson, but it would serve.

"Do you know our names?"

"I know your name."

Raised eyebrows.

"Right. From the very beginning, then."

After about an hour, Thor felt he had a much better grasp of the basics. He learned of Loki's older brothers, Helblindi and Byleister. That their other parent - and he found that an easier way to think of it, though he still didn't fully understand - was called Farbauti but that he was currently away negotiating with other realms for goods and skills.

They had not yet mentioned the war explicitly, but it hung above them like a cloud.

If Loki had been born around the same time as him, that meant Laufey had been pregnant during the later days of it for one thing. Heavily so. Or perhaps not so heavily since Loki was so much smaller than his compatriots.

Still. He felt his father's tales of the great battles were somewhat diminished by the knowledge that they had been fighting one so... burdened.

Maybe his trouble showed on his face.

"You didn't sleep well," Loki said. "You should eat and rest before the evening. Father wishes to see you."

Ah, good. Laufey. That was who he was supposed to be talking to after all.

"Good idea," he said. "I would like to be refreshed too. Do you have... a bathhouse?"

"A what?"

Thor had a brief moment of worry. Surely they bathed? Or did they perhaps scrub down in the snow?

He certainly hoped not. That didn't sound pleasant.

"A place for washing? A pool?"

"I have a private washroom. I will have a bath drawn for you. And the water will be hot, don't worry."

Excellent.

"Do you mean to say that Asgardians bathe... together?" Loki asked.

"Sometimes. It is considered a social pastime."

"I see."

He seemed shocked. But then he set his jaw and smiled, yet another forced one.

"In that case, I would be honoured to join you as part of our cultural exchange."

Thor hadn't expected that.

But it would be rude to refuse...

Shit.


	5. Chapter 5

The bath was large. At least there was that. Thor had been slightly concerned that they would be forced to be very close together. The circular pool, carved into the very floor, was big enough to leave several feet between them.

His other concern was that by "have a bath drawn" Loki had meant there would be servants involved, witnesses to this, but instead it seemed to involve pipes which produced water from the depths of the realm.

"We are a rather volcanic place," Loki said, looking not quite as awkward as Thor felt. "The water is heated by the hot core of our world, far beneath the frozen surface."

It steamed merrily, far from settling Thor's mind even as Loki poured sweet-smelling oils into it. At least the surface was a little opaque, full of minerals perhaps. A little defence for his nudity.

Thor turned away to undress, trying to ignore the way his heart was hammering. He had taken group baths many times. This was no different.

Though, of course, generally speaking he had known all the warriors on Asgard. Bathing with a friend was very different to bathing with a stranger...

If he got undressed quickly enough, he could get in the water first.

No such luck. He heard the faint splash of dispersion far too soon. Loki was wearing less than him, fewer layers, had a head start.

Was getting a full view of his behind at present, most likely. Still, better than a view of his cock, perhaps.

He did his best to cover it as he turned, only to find Loki demurely looking away, his cheeks slightly deeper blue than previously.

Quite why he was insisting on this awkwardness, Thor wasn't sure, though he supposed mutual mortification was reason enough to build a friendship. He had some built on worse things.

The water was beautifully warm, like the feeling of sinking back into bed after fetching a drink, soothing to his skin and tense muscles. And once he was in the water, Loki looked at him again, those large red eyes seeming a little fearful.

"I wasn't sure how much of that bulk was your own and how much was clothing. Mostly you, it seems."

Thor was suddenly very aware of his breadth, feeling rather over-sized, though Loki was hardly narrow. By Asgardian standards, he was of a good height and shoulder width, if a little lither than most.

And beneath his clothes, where his shoulders emerged from the water, he could see that the ridges on his skin covered more than just his face.

"Are they natural?" Thor asked, tracing his own skin in imitation of the swirls and marks.

"Partially. But they've been enhanced a little."

Thor felt his eyes widen.

"You mean... You mean they're scars? They cut you?"

Loki shrugged.

"Your people wear tattoos, do they not? It's much the same. It doesn't affect my day to day life. But they're very important. They're the marks of our house."

"Didn't it hurt?"

"Of course not. You are numbed first and the tool freezes the flesh instantly, cauterising the wound with frostbite."

Thor tried to quiet the little voice in his head that said this was barbarism of the worst kind. It was different, that was all.

"When were they... done?"

"It's a coming of age ritual, I suppose. A few years ago now. They didn't attack me as a child, if that's what you're worried about."

"And could you have said no?"

Loki gave him a look of utter confusion.

"Why would I? It doesn't hurt. I suppose technically I could, but... Well, would you have refused your ceremonies?"

Thor thought about when he'd stood before the realm being confirmed as his father's heir. How he'd felt Hela's eyes on him from her portrait, boring into him as he dared to stand in her rightful place. The way he'd said the right words with almost a tremble in his heart, certain that everyone was saying he could not live up to her legacy.

Maybe he would have refused to do it, if he'd felt he'd had a choice.

But he did not say that. He shrugged instead, dunking his head under the water briefly and reaching for a dish of what he assumed was soap sitting by the side of the pool.

They washed as though the other wasn't there and Thor ensured his eyes were well and truly lowered when Loki moved to get out, not getting so much as a glimpse of ankle, curious though he was about his body.

He could probably have made some more progress in gaining trust there, he thought afterwards as he braided up his hair.

Oh, well. One more mistake added to a long, long list hardly made a difference.


	6. Chapter 6

"I don't like him."

Thor had been dozing, a little nap after a light lunch and before dinner, mainly to get out of Loki's way, but somehow his voice - or maybe his tone - cut through from the next room.

"I hardly see how that matters."

Hmm... A deeper voice, and Loki's was hardly high. More resonant. Out of a larger chest. Laufey, perhaps?

It was hard not to be offended. It wasn't like he'd made himself particularly endearing to Loki, but still. He'd done his best to hold his tongue as much as possible and he'd been careful to apologise whenever he knew he'd said the wrong thing.

"He's... He's dull. And he doesn't know anything about me or about Jotunheim or our ways."

"He could be a complete simpleton and still be very powerful. He is Odin's heir whether you like him or not. Make an effort."

"He's no Hela."

Ugh... Typical. She'd probably be completely versed in all the important aspects of Jotun life and customs, fitting in perfectly.

"Oh, so you'd rather have the butcher sleeping nearby right now? You'd rather it was her?"

"No! No, of course not!"

The... The what?

The butcher, was that really what he said?

Despite himself, Thor felt a slight shiver run down his spine. Yes, his sister had been a formidable warrior and magic user, but he'd never heard her described as... as anything like that.

She must have killed people. Jotun people. He knew that. He had killed people if it came to it. That was what war was, that was what it involved.

But the way Laufey had said it with such distain... The speed with which Loki had reacted to the name. Like he'd been scared.

Even dead, they managed to use her as a monster. What had she done to deserve such a nickname? How many people had she killed?

Or was it something to do with the manner in which she killed them?

"I don't care if you like him," Laufey was saying. "But you need to make him like you."

"I'm doing my best."

"Well, do better. You're the only one of the right stature."

"I didn't ask to be like this!"

"I didn't ask for it either. But that doesn't mean it can't be useful."

There was a creaking sound, the door opening. Laufey leaving, but with one more thing to add.

"If he's as simple as you claim, then it should be easy, Loki. Do what you must. And I think you understand me well."

A dull thud. And then a moment or two later a snarl and a bright green glow shining under his door.

Well, what in the nine had that been about?

Not the befriending. That was fairly obvious. They were thinking of the future, of when he would ascend the throne of Asgard and how useful it would be to have him as a friend. And they'd assumed it would be easiest to do that through the prince closest to him in size. Maybe so he could be the one going on diplomatic trips, since all the furniture would be the right sizs.

The only question was what to do with this new information?

The wicked side of him wanted to be difficult. So Loki disliked him? Maybe he could show how unlikable he could be...

No, that was childish. You didn't have to like someone to be professional and mature with them. He ought to use this knowledge to make things as smooth and easy as possible for both of them.

And then Loki would like him after all.

He really wasn't sure why he cared, but being affable and well-liked was important to him. If you couldn't be revered like Father or loved like Mother or prided in like Hela, at least you could be everyone's friend.

"That Thor," people said. "He's a good egg. I like him."

At least he hoped they did...

Maybe his mistake was in treating Loki differently to how he would treat his peers. They were about the same age, after all. A young man was a young man, regardless of where he was from. Much the same everywhere he would have thought.

He should show interest in his hobbies. His skills.

His love life, maybe?

Then again, he hadn't seen anyone else of Loki's size. Maybe he didn't have anyone like that. After all, the practicalities...

Well...

Maybe best not to ask after all. Didn't want to cause offence. More offence.

And he couldn't let Loki know he'd overheard a private conversation. Sneakiness was necessary.

Beginning by pretending he had slept right through that whole discussion.

Were they keeping things specially warm for him or was the palace always like this? He wasn't sure. His hair had dried though, and he took the time to brush it out and retie it with the soft waves that braids always left in it. Mother said it made him handsome at least. Might as well make an effort.

He dressed to impress. Full cape and colours, his lighter armour though. He wanted to look respectful, not war-mongering after all.

Loki seemed a little surprised to see him, looking him up and down.

"Is this suitable?" Thor asked. "They are my colours, but I can change if it's too much. Or not enough."

"No. It is perfectly adequate. It's just I had not expected such an ensemble."

Thor swallowed down the question of whether or not that was an insult.

"It is not as cold as I expected inside. Thank you for your advice. I'm sorely in need of it, I fear. Please don't hesitate to correct me if I make any mistakes."

Loki looked at him a little oddly and for a moment Thor was completely certain that he guessed he had been overheard.

If so, his nod was hiding it well.

Maybe he could salvage a friendship here after all with a little effort. Which would be good for both of them.


	7. Chapter 7

The great hall the he had entered first last night had been reorganised, long tables brought in to accommodate hundreds of Giants. Now able to really look at it, Thor tried to be appreciative of the fine craftsmanship that had gone into the carved floor and the high vaulted ceiling.

It was not so very different from home really, though it felt a little like being in a cave, the columns like stalactites and stalagmites. Maybe some of them had been, some time ago.

He'd expected to be put on a shorter table, one more suited to his height, but no such luck. The royal family ate at a large carved marble bench, recesses set into the top of it for plates and cups.

Thor tried his best not to think of the hospital slabs at home as Loki demonstrated the easiest way to get a foothold on the dining chairs to climb up.

Laufey was in the middle, of course, with his eldest to his left and Byleister to his right. Beyond him, an empty seat, perhaps usually occupied by Farbauti. Thor found himself between Helblindi and Loki, feeling very short indeed. Out of place in all ways.

Was that how Loki felt all the time?

He barely heard the welcome Laufey gave him, distracted by the way the other Jotuns were looking at him. Some curiously, some with open disdain. It seemed the war was not so far back in some memories.

Not least Helblindi's if his opening question was anything to go by.

"Are you sure you're the brother of Hela?" he asked, his voice more gravelly than Loki's. "You don't look like her."

"Half-brother," Thor said. "I take more from my mother, that's all. And, of course, I never knew her personally."

"I did. I was there when she took down two whole battalions by herself. No survivors."

Thor had heard the story before. Many, many times. There were songs about it.

_Cornered by the horde_  
_She showed them hammer and sword_  
_Our princess fought and bravely sought_  
_To see Asgard restored..._

He'd always hated it.

"She was a fine warrior," he offered.

Helblindi looked a little confused, eyes narrowed before he shrugged.

"I suppose that is one way of looking at it."

"I have never met your mother, Prince Thor," Laufey said, with an air of interruption. "Though we have corresponded, of course. Where is she from originally?"

"Ah... Er, Vanaheim. She is the king's second cousin. She calls herself technically a princess, though she was a healer by trade. Still is when royal duties are not calling."

"How interesting," Laufey said, as though Thor had told him anything he didn't already know.

He ought to also show interest. What could he ask? What was safe ground?

"Loki told me your..." Wife? Husband? "...spouse is an ambassador also."

A kick under the table from his left. What?! What had been wrong with that?

Laufey laughed, apparently out of politeness, nodding slightly.

"Ah, I see. Yes, you would think of him like that, I suppose. We don't practice marriage as you do in Asgard, you see. Farbauti and I have been together as a couple for many, many years, but he is not my spouse as you would understand the term. But, yes, you are correct. He is currently on Alfheim..."

Thor half stopped listening. No marriage? Well... Fair enough, maybe. It was primarily a legal thing, wasn't it? Maybe the law worked differently here.

But what was all this "he" business? They all seemed to be "he". Where were the women? Loki had implied that Laufey was their mother, but then he'd changed his story and...

Oh, it was all so confusing.

"...don't you agree, Prince Thor?"

What?

"Yes, of course."

He hoped he hadn't just said he agreed with something he didn't. Loki's face wasn't revealing any clues.

Safe subjects, safe subjects...

"This table is beautiful," he tried. "A lot of work must have gone into making it."

"It has been here for several millennia. Built for my father's father."

"Ah. I cannot compliment the artist in person then?"

"Alas, no."

Loki snorted. Thor wasn't sure if it was at his expense or not.

Still, he said the food was excellent - which it was - and he encouraged Helblindi and Byleister to talk. It saved him from any further embarrassment, hopefully.

"Tomorrow, Loki will show you some of the grounds," Laufey announced. "But be sure to wrap up warmly. It's cold out there."

Banished, again. Still, no doubt Laufey was busy with day-to-day tasks and had little time for him.

All the aame, it was difficult to believe that he'd nearly made it through his first full day here and there were still so many yet to come.


	8. Chapter 8

"Do you drink wine?" Loki asked, stalking ahead of Thor back to his rooms.

"Er... Yes. Why?"

"Because I'm not particularly tired so we might as well make a night of it. If you'd care to join me."

Fair enough. Thor couldn't pretend that he didn't like the idea of a little relaxation after that meal. He could do with unwinding.

A servant brought it very quickly, as though this was a common request, along with two large glasses. The bottle, however, was disappointly normal.

"I thought you'd have bigger ones," Thor said.

"Unfortunately, we have to import it from the very same realms you do. We're not a large enough market to warrant specific sizes, though I don't doubt they'd be popular elsewhere."

"We produce our own mostly, I think. Maybe that's something we could trade in the future. If the sanctions are relaxed."

A half shrug and then a wave of Loki's hand had the cork spiralling neatly out and coming to rest on the table.

"Is that tiring?" Thor asked, just for something to say. "Does it take a lot of effort?"

"Don't you have magic? I thought your father and sister were skilled users."

"Indeed, and my mother too. I do have power, but it's not... It doesn't come in a useful form. It's not a general type, if you understand."

He didn't talk about it much. Hela had been able to twist almost anything to her will in seconds, apparently effortlessly. He'd spent far too long in his early adolescence fighting to find something within himself that simply wasn't there. He was done with despairing over it.

"Show me," Loki said, pouring the wine. "If you can."

A challenge. Well, now was not the time to hold back and be unimpressive. Thor took a large mouthful and extended his other hand, splaying his fingers and reaching for the lightning.

Nothing dangerous, mind. Just a little...

A few sparks, quite large ones, spilled from his fingertips, earthing in his wrist, creating forks and arcs along the way. A miniature storm.

For the first time since they'd met, Loki looked properly intrigued. The light reflected in his eyes, sparking in them even when Thor closed his fist and let it subside.

"How strong can it be?" Loki asked. "If you were really trying? Very powerful?"

Thor thought of the smell of burning flesh, the first time he had used it on a person. A fight against bandits targeting unwary travellers up in the mountains around the city. The way it had seemed to stick in his nostrils for weeks. The way people looked at him differently afterwards.

"It can be very destructive," he said. "I don't use it often. It can be... hard to control sometimes."

Loki's eyes shone, excited. This was something they had in common, Thor supposed. Or maybe something he happened to know a lot about.

"You need a conduit," he said firmly. "I've heard of this, but never seen it in person before. I wasn't even sure such powers really existed anymore. You have a rare gift." 

That was almost a compliment.

"A conduit?"

"I'm amazed your father hasn't found you one. It's an object that would let you channel your power more carefully. Or more accurately, perhaps."

Hm. Interesting.

"I don't suppose you'd happen to have one of them just lying around, would you?"

There was a beat before Loki looked away, finishing his glass and pouring another. These were not small measures. It was a little concerning, if Thor was honest. Or impressive maybe.

"We should go beyond the palace gates tomorrow," Loki said. "The city is at its best seen from the mountains in the sun. It will give you a proper sense of the lay of things."

Abrupt change, but alright.

"That sounds like a good idea. I'm still a little confused about a few things, I must admit."

"Such as?"

Thor threw him a suspicious look. Was this a trap?

"Just ask. It's better than making a mistake around my family, surely."

That was certainly true.

"Well... For one thing, you all seem to be men," Thor said helplessly. "I'm sure I'm being very ignorant, but I can't tell... you know. The difference."

Loki swirled his wine, letting it form streaks against the sides of the glass. A smile was playing about his lips, faint but definitely there.

"That's because there aren't any differences. We are not men and women as you understand the terms. Most of us can both sire and bear children. We have all the necessary biology. Though, of course, it's the bearing that's important. Property and social standing pass through that line. The children I give birth to will inherit from me, not their sire."

Thor felt like the whole world had just stretched beyond its limits and then snapped suddenly back into place.

"You mean you're... a girl?"

Loki rolled his eyes.

"No. And I'm not a boy either. I'm neither. I'm both."

"But you always say 'he'..."

"That's how you hear it, yes. Because that's how you Asgardians think. But we only have one pronoun, for everyone. That's how we are."

"Wait, so even for my mother, you say the same word?"

"Precisely. And you hear the word you expect to hear. I hear the same word whichever version you say. It's only because I've read about Asgardians and your culture that I know what you're really saying. But I don't mind you saying 'he' if that's easiest for you."

All Speak was so confusing sometimes. Still, Thor thought he understood.

"So you only use your... other parts for having children?"

He couldn't quite define the look he was given. A strange combination of exasperation and outrage and amusement.

"I _use_ them whenever I feel like it. How often do you _use_ your parts?"

Thor knew he'd gone bright red, probably not too many shades off that of his cape. He hadn't meant... Well, he hadn't meant _that,_ but he could see how it might be misconstrued.

"Sorry. That was inappropriate."

Loki sighed, swallowing hard.

"It's fine. You would have found out sooner or later."

Thor frowned a little.

"We bathed together and I didn't notice."

"Well, I wasn't exactly exhibiting myself, was I? Top up?"

Might as well. One bottle between two wouldn't trouble them come the morning, and he wanted something to do with his hands.

"How cold is it going to be tomorrow?"

"Oh... For you? Freezing. You'll need to wrap up well. But we won't be walking, don't worry. I'll arrange transport."

Hmm. Horses or a skiff?

He'd get to find out, he supposed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to say, yes, I have seen Infinity War, but it is unlikely to have any effect on this fic as it is set in sort of Thor(2011) ish times.

Hmm. Neither horses nor a skiff. Nor whatever big ship would count as a skiff here. Maybe he ought to have seen that coming.

Thor looked up at the huge animal, something like a deer but so clearly built for this climate, huge and powerful. Its breath steamed in the air, its nostrils like chimneys.

How in the nine was he supposed to get on it?

There was a mounting block and he watched carefully as Loki simply leapt aboard with practiced grace, a flash of blue legs escaping from beneath his long... skirt? Robe? Thor wasn't sure what term was appropriate. A sort of saddle had been laid on the beast's back, but Loki almost curled in it, very relaxed. Almost lounging.

Thor's well-insulated winter clothes did not lend themselves to such elegance.

"Just get a firm grip and pull yourself up," Loki said. "They're thick-skinned. You won't hurt it."

He had never felt more cumbersome or unwieldy before in his life, half scrabbling his way onto the poor thing's back while it snorted and stamped. He pet its neck apologetically, though he wasn't sure if it was paying much attention.

"No reins?"

"It will follow mine. Ready?"

He wasn't. He'd expected it to be like horse riding, but the whole stride was different, a sort of lolloping gait that made him feel very much like he was going to fall off.

Have some pride, he told himself, working out the angles and getting the hang of leaning into the motions, learning from the sound of its hooves crunching through the snow.

Loki took him up to a lookout point, as promised, to gaze down over the city.

It _sparkled._

Was that ice or minerals shining in the sun - the strange light on this world that hit everything but offered very little warmth? This land was rich with precious metals and vital elements. Had they built it into their very cities even?

The palace was built right into a mountain, strangely without snow and faintly smoking at the top. From heating? Or from that volcanic activity Loki had spoken about?

"Both," Loki said in answer to his question.

"Isn't that dangerous? Won't it erupt some day?"

"We vent it. As with most things, it is a case of releasing pressure carefully. And the dwarves prefer that we trade in refined ores rather than the raw stuff. We put the heat and lava to use."

Thor wasn't sure he'd like living on top of a potential disaster, but he supposed they had to know what they were doing.

Loki urged his deer along, gently steering it with nudges. Clearly a skilled horseman. Deersman? Rider, anyway.

There were no trees here, of course. The chill and the frozen ground did not allow them purchase to put down roots. And yet there was... something here. Out of view of the town, strange snow-covered tendrils, almost.

"What are these?" Thor asked, feeling slightly unnerved. He had the oddest sensation that this place was inherently wrong, a tingling feeling across the back of his neck, an itch in his palms.

"This was where the civilians fled when they feared the war would engulf the city."

Thor frowned, confused.

"The war happened on Midgard," he said uncertainly. "Because... Because you tried to claim it. Its resources."

Silence, only broken by the crunch of their mounts' hooves. Loki had taken them to a clearing among the strange protrusions, leaping down and beginning to wipe the snow from one.

Was that an enormous icicle? Or a shard of glass?

"If we had wanted Midgard, why didn't we take it when Asgard was defeated?" he said.

"Well, because... Because it wasn't as rich as you'd hoped?"

"Midgard was just a distraction. A little rock with little peoples. But it was the principle of the thing. Your empire against ours, more or less equal but always striving for more. And neither of us could bear the idea of the other capturing one tiny world too many."

Thor had never thought about it like that, but it made sense.

"It was just an excuse," he said. "A convenient arena for the fighting."

"Until your sister brought it here."

He'd been walking in a circle, moving the snow with waves of his hands. Thor suddenly realised that there was only one entrance to this clearing, the way they'd come in. The rest was all spikes, some growing into each other, only just enough room for him to squeeze between the thick, tree-like columns.

"What is this?" he asked, unsure if he really wanted to know. 

He felt unwell, the edge of a headache coming. Maybe he was catching a chill despite his furs.

"They were resting up here," Loki said softly. "Hiding, in case the worst should come. Children. The elderly. Non-combatants of many ages. Hiding up here, thinking they were safe. And then the ground began to shake, these started sprouting up around them. Most escaped, but some of them were trapped in here. Caged in."

"How many?"

"Estimates vary. Twenty. Forty, fifty. Some of them were pregnant so that skews the numbers somewhat."

What was he being told here? What was this place, why was Loki so... so melancholy?

"What happened?" Thor heard himself asking. "What... What are these things?"

"They're mineral shards. Called up from within the very ground by Hela of Asgard."

Thor felt like he was going to throw up. This was a sick place, something unhealthy about it.

"Why? Why would she do that?"

"To keep the people trapped. To make killing them easier."

Thor didn't want to believe what he was hearing. Civilians? Trapped civilians? That didn't make sense, that wasn't right...

"This is where the war ended," Loki said. "Really ended. Not with treaties and agreements but with a massacre. A war crime that Asgard would do anything to conceal."

He climbed back onto his deer, jaw a little tight.

"My brothers will try to provoke you. They assumed you knew. You should change the subject when they mention her. But now you know the truth."

No. No, that was a lie. That had not happened.

He'd know. Surely he would know. He'd have been told.

A click of Loki's tongue and they moved off again, out of the horrible circle of glass, with Thor's headache getting worse and worse.

It was almost like something was singing to him, just out of reach.

"Can you hear that?"

"No. But I know what it is. We're nearly there."

Oh, good.

"What is it?"

"Something I think you might be interested in."

Somehow he wasn't filled with hope by that.


	10. Chapter 10

"You're wrong," Thor said after a while, helplessly irritated. "You must be wrong. Hela couldn't have done that. I'd know."

"You really think so? You don't think it's possible that things could be kept from you? That things could be glossed over so as to avoid the shame and guilt of it?"

"And you don't think it's possible that this is just... Jotun propaganda?"

"I showed you where it happened."

"No, you showed me where _something_ happened. You weren't there. Neither of us were."

"I can take you to people who lost family."

"But were they there? Did they see it happen? Or did they just see the aftermath? Did they actually see her do it? And what is that awful noise?!"

It was getting louder, he was sure of it.

"We're close now. As I recall, it's just around this corner."

"What is?"

"You'll see."

He didn't. Everything looked very much the same, rocks and snow. But he could hear it. Whatever it was, he could hear it.

"This is where Hela fell," Loki said quietly. "Where she made her last stand. And she left something behind."

Whatever it was was in a ravine, like an old river bed for all he hadn't seen much running water. Loki jumped down and helped Thor off his deer.

"You can hear it," he said. "Find it."

"What is it?"

"You'll see!"

Right. Fine. He wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't some kind of revenge plot. Get him out to the middle of nowhere, a steep slope, a shove, call it an accident...

He started climbing down, slowly and steadily. He wasn't planning on slipping to his death. Not today.

This talk of a massacre... Surely it couldn't be true. The way everyone spoke about Hela, she'd been a paragon of Asgardian society. A fine warrior, but merciful. Wise and considered. Strong and noble.

She couldn't have done what Loki claimed. It was a mistake, if not an outright lie. Father surely would not allow her to be so revered if she had committed such an act.

And besides, she'd paid with her life for her part in the war. Massacre or no massacre.

As he made his way towards the strange noise, Thor realised that he didn't actually know exactly when or where she had died. During the war, near the end, that was all he knew. He assumed she'd fallen on Midgard and either lay there still or had been brought home for cremation.

He found himself at the bottom of the ravine at last, jumping down to last foot or two with a grunt.

There was a snow drift. It seemed to be the epicentre of the noise he was hearing.

Glancing upward, he found Loki watching him, but suitably far away that he didn't feel vulnerable. Then again, a magic user as strong as Loki seemed to be could easily kill him and make it look like an accident.

His gloves would protect him, he figured, from the snow at least. He began to dig, the flakes falling to the side in flurries. Whatever it was, it was smaller than he had expected.

Suddenly, he unearthed something. A handle, by the looks of it. Leather wrapped around metal.

And just as suddenly, the sound changed. No longer a harsh, wheedling whine, but warm and welcoming, glad to see him, singing happily as he wrapped his hand around it and pulled.

At first, he didn't recognise it.

And then suddenly, images flashed in his mind.

This was a hammer. _The_ hammer. This was Hela's hammer. He'd seen it in her portraits, one or two of them, raised high above her head. And it had tasted blood many, many times.

It sang to him, a song of blood and destruction, of brain spatter and crunching bones, of fractured teeth and ruptured organs. Awful, awful things.

And then it called to him. _Sing to me. What is your song?_

What song? What was this? What was this urge he felt, the draw to answer a question that he didn't even understand in words as such?

_What is your power?_

Power?

Lightning, he thought. Storm.

_Lightning. Storm._

He gasped as it seemed to reach into him, invasive, but somehow like it had always been there. Like he'd been waiting for itall his life and hadn't known.

A conduit, as Loki had said. Something to channel his magic. He'd known what this object was and where it was. But how had it got there?

He looked up at Loki's face and couldn't read his expression.

"No one has lifted that since she threw it down there," he said, his voice echoing slightly.

"Why not?"

A beckoning gesture. Alright, fine. Thor took two steps back towards the ravine wall before the hammer spoke to him again.

_Fly?_

What?

_Fly!_

It seemed natural somehow. Or at least that the hammer knew what it was doing. What had to happen.

He seized the leather cord at the end of the handle, the belt tether, and span it in a fast circle, swinging it upwards and letting it pull...

He landed next to Loki, sending snowflakes flying, taking the impact in his legs like he was landing from the Bifrost.

"How did you know how to do that?" Loki asked, shielding his face a little.

"I didn't. It did. It's... I don't know. Talking to me somehow."

Loki took a few steps back and spirited up a column of snow.

"Hit it," he said. "Bring down lightning on it."

All that power that used to be so uncontrollable flowed anew through his veins, but contained now. Hemmed in and safe.

Clouds gathered overhead, sparking and rumbling and it was so easy to bring it down in a single bolt...

The pile of snow exploded, not that Thor saw it. He was knocked backwards by the impact, glad of the extra padding of his thick winter clothes.

Loki on the other hand...

"Are you alright?" Thor asked.

Loki somehow managed to laugh and groan at the same time, their poor deer mounts bellowing in alarm.

"I might bruise a little, but nothing broken."

He accepted Thor's hand to help pull him back to his feet, eyes bright and wearing a wide smile. He'd liked that. A demonstration of strength.

The hammer felt like it fit in Thor's grip, almost like it had been made for him.

"Why has no one come to get this before?" he asked. "Such a useful thing shouldn't have been lying around down there."

"We tried. No one could lift it."

"It's not all that heavy. Here."

He held it out, but Loki didn't even try to take it.

"Only certain people can lift it. Or hear it. I wasn't sure if you'd be able to, but you must be... compatible with it in some way."

His sister's weapon. But it liked him. It was happy for him to hold it.

He couldn't help but feel proud to have lived up to the same standard as she had. For once.

At least, he was until they rode back through the city towards the palace and people who had previously looked at him curiously had real fear in their eyes. This was a tool of destruction and pain for them. It had belonged to the monster, the butcher.

Maybe she had even used it to...

No. He still couldn't believe that she had killed those people. Loki had made a mistake, that was all.

But then how had her hammer ended up there? The hammer that was even now humming happily in his grasp, pleased to have a master.

Suddenly he had doubts. Not doubts about himself or his abilities, but doubts about everything he knew about the war and how it ended.

And worst of all, he had doubts about his sister.

It felt wrong. Like he was disrespecting her memory to think such things might possibly be true or not entirely false. It was an awful thing to consider even.

And yet, he couldn't quite dismiss it out of hand. He could not stop these treasonous thoughts.

He needed to know more.


	11. Chapter 11

Guards came rushing out to meet them, apparently very concerned for Loki's well-being. There seemed to be a bit of a search party being stood down even.

"I am unhurt. Why would I be injured?"

"We saw the lightning strike, my prince. Very rare at this time of year. Your father feared something was wrong."

Ah... Oops. And here Thor was holding the weapon.

All the same, he was a little surprised to see Laufey himself rushing out of the palace and picking Loki up despite his loud complaints, carrying him into the great hall.

Thor found himself unmistakably flanked as they went inside, the guards' eyes flicking to the hammer in his grasp as though it might bite at any point. In case he did something.

"Put me down," Loki cried. "Father, I'm fine! This is ridiculous."

They were heading for private rooms, it seemed. More cluttered than the dramatic main hall, more like an office. Vellum scrolls and books everywhere. Cold, too. Freezing.

Laufey finally set Loki on his feet, looking him over for signs of injury, finding a few grazes before the real fear in his eyes turned more to anger.

"What were you thinking of, going up there?" he snapped.

"I wanted to show Thor the city, like you asked. And then I thought that he might like to learn some of his own history, since we seem to be determined to forget it."

"You know the rules. No one is to go up there. It's forbidden."

"It's important. Besides, look, he holds Mjölnir. It called to him. I was just giving the Asgardians their rightful property back. Better they have it than let it sit up there uselessly."

"You need to learn to do what you're told."

"I am! You told me to play nice with Odin's spawn, so I am!"

Laufey raised a hand and for a horrible moment, Thor thought he was going to slap him. But he was just pausing their argument to address the guards.

"Please take Prince Thor back to Loki's chambers. I need to talk to him alone."

Thor didn't want to leave. He couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. But what could he do? Go against the king of Jotunheim? That wouldn't go down well at all.

They deposited him in Loki's rooms, and he got the distinct impression that he wasn't going to be allowed to leave any time soon. Not that he knew where he'd go. Wandering the palace alone didn't exactly appeal.

He put the hammer down, somehow comforted by its presence, like the blanket he used to carry around as a small child. It was warmer in here, definitely too warm for all these layers.

Odin's spawn, he thought as he stripped down to a single shirt. So that's what they thought of him. His father's whelp.

He shouldn't really be surprised. The truce might be ongoing, but friendships were not yet formed. They were yet unsure of each other. They didn't know what to make of him for one thing.

But why, then, had Loki wanted him to find the hammer? This Mjölnir? He definitely recognised it now, he was certain of it. He'd seen it in pictures, held high above his sister's head. But he'd had no idea it was a magical object, or that it had been lost.

How did Loki know about it? How did he know where it was for that matter? Laufey said that area was a forbidden place so it wasn't very likely that its presence was common knowledge. Maybe it was dangerous. Maybe people had tried to fetch Mjölnir back before and been injured in the attempt.

There were books open on Loki's table. Maybe they'd contain some clues. And surely if they were private, he'd have read them in his bedchamber.

Maybe he wanted Thor to read them.

It wasn't exactly subtle.

They were even left open at the right page, the history of the final days of the war. There was a map. The area he had taken Thor to. A mark where the massacre had happened - supposedly happened - and then another over towards the ravine. This one looked added though. Like Loki had marked a likely spot where Mjölnir might be himself. Like he'd wanted to find it, or at least wanted Thor to find it.

Putting the drawings aside, Thor began to read. One section in particular had been highlighted neatly with green ink. Loki's doing again?

_The Asgardian princess Hela brought her army to Jotunheim without permission, planning to strike at the capital city with the element of surprise. The more vulnerable civilians fled to the mountains as battle ensued._

_By this time, the peace treaty had been under discussion for almost a week, but going slowly. King Laufey was unable to travel due to the unexpected birth of his third child._

Loki being born. But Thor was more struck by what this was telling him about Hela. She... She'd done it alone after the main war was over? Why? Why keep the fighting going and keep people dying, their people and the Jotuns, if peace was nearly at hand?

_Odin Allfather condemned Hela for her acts immediately upon hearing she had travelled and promised compensation for military losses, but his daughter was enraged at being denied her fight and gave chase to the defenceless non-combatants, killing many._

_When Odin followed and saw what she had done, realising she would not listen to reason, he..._

What? No. No, that was not true. It wasn't! That had not happened!

Thor's eyes ran over the sentence over and over, unable to believe it told such a dreadful falsehood. How dare they?

_He raised his spear and struck her down._

The door banged open suddenly, Loki arriving, face stormy and bearing a few bandages on his back and legs. Treatment for the bruises.

But Thor had little sympathy for him, not with this book open on his desk. Not if he thought this was what had really happened.

"Ah," Loki said. "I wondered if you'd read it. I hoped so."

"This is a disgusting lie," Thor said, his voice almost shaking with vehemence.

Loki shrugged.

"Believe whatever you want. I'm not going to dinner tonight, but you're expected."

Oh, great. Another evening of embarrassment and now without his ome ally.

Still, Thor tapped his finger on the book.

"This is untrue," he said. "I know it is untrue."

Loki rolled his eyes, shrugging.

"Whatever. Goodnight anyway. I doubt I'll be awake when you come back."

He left, limping a little. Thor felt bad about that since it was technically his doing, but he was not going to sit idly by as such lies were told about his father. He wasn't. And he would make that clear at dinner.

He dressed in his full armour and hooked Mjölnir into his belt. It was his now. He would wear it. It was rightfully Asgardian.

He wasn't going to worry about hurting the feelings of people who had the gall to claim his father had killed his own daughter.


	12. Chapter 12

Thor at least tried not to scowl openly. This was a more private dinner, not the feast of yesterday. Still in the hall, but with large drapes pulled into place to make the royal bench more of a dining room.

"Where's short stuff?" Helblindi asked.

"Loki is indisposed," Laufey said. "He shan't be joining us."

They clearly weren't too convinced by that. Thor wondered if Loki was often banished for his behaviour, or if he often took himself away. Maybe this was a common excuse.

"How do you like him, Prince Thor?" Byleister asked him.

"Loki? He's... interesting."

Chuckling.

"Oh, dear. Is that all?"

Thor didn't know what he was getting at, really. Loki had evidently been charged with looking after him, however inconvenient it was to them both.

Still, Loki had at least been making an effort. He'd been explaining things and trying to be helpful instead of letting him flounder in ignorance.

"He has been keeping me occupied," he said carefully. "Though I was under the impression that this visit was a precursor to trade agreements and lessening of our mutual sanctions. I did not expect to be... palmed off on a junior prince, however intelligent and engaging he might be."

The older two looked at their father, confused apparently. Thor felt like he was missing something. Not being told something important.

"Still," he said, putting Mjölnir on the table beside him deliberately. "He took me up to the mountains to retrieve this. I suppose it's a start."

"There will be time for trade meetings at a later date," Laufey said firmly. "But from what Loki has been telling me, it seems Odin has failed to prepare you for this journey in any way. You know nothing of us or our culture. Not even the basics of our anatomy, let alone our society. I feel you need to have rather a lot of education before you will be ready to have productive discussions."

Thor knew his cheeks had gone hot. He couldn't deny that he resented his parents a little. They had sent him here saying things would be just like they were at home and, after all, the Allspeak would translate for him and all would be friendly and perfect.

And here he was, foreign and ignorant and lost. It wasn't fair. Why had they done this? Why hadn't they warned him? Surely they knew this stuff themselves. So why hadn't they told him?

"I might not know everything that I might know," Thor said, trying to keep his voice low and calm. "But at least I am not a liar."

"Loki been spinning you tales, has he?" Byleister asked, clearly trying to relieve tensions a little.

"He's been informing me that my sister is a war criminal, if that's what you mean. A hideous accusation which I trust is misguided."

There was stony silence broken only by the faint scrapes and rattling of Helblindi's cutlery. He was going to have his meal regardless of inter-realm affairs, it seemed.

"You are young, Prince Thor," Laufey said eventually. "And your blood is hot. I did not know that your father had not informed you of the truth. Perhaps he feared you were not ready. But he was there. He saw it. However, this is not the right place or time to bring up old ghosts and I have advised Loki to drop the subject. When you return home, perhaps you can ask Odin Allfather about it and receive a first-hand report."

And accuse him of killing Hela too?

"Maybe I ought to return home sooner than planned," Thor said, stabbing at the strange deep green vegetables that seemed ubiquitous here, some kind of seaweed he thought.

Laufey shook his head.

"No, I don't think so. I anticipated a rocky start to this trip but I'm sure you'll soon start to feel more comfortable."

Thor wasn't so sure about that. He still had so many questions.

He refused to believe his father could have killed Hela. He loved her. He took pains to make sure everyone remembered her, that her memory remained fresh.

But then again, who curated that memory? Who decided which stories were told about her? Father did. Almost like he was covering something up, maybe out of guilt.

And why couldn't he actually remember any specific tales about her great mercy? He'd always been told that she was merciful but now he could not think of any examples.

Or maybe he was just jealous and that was why these thoughts refused to leave his head. He'd always been jealous of Hela. Always felt like he lived in a borrowed place that ought to have been hers, a legend he could not live up to fully. Sometimes he thought it foolish to even try.

How stupid to be jealous of the dead.

He ate mainly in silence, letting the awkwardness spread. If they were going to treat him like a burden, he might as well be one.


	13. Chapter 13

Loki wasn't around when he returned, though there was evidence of him. An empty bottle, abandoned dishes, a robe left on the low couch.

He wasn't supposed to be telling Thor the truth. He wasn't supposed to be telling Thor anything, most likely.

It was difficult to shift his anger. At Laufey, at his own parents. They hadn't organised a diplomatic meeting at all. They'd just wanted him to trot along and smile and look good so they could pronounce the mission a great success and then send other people to do the real work.

They had such little faith in him. How was he supposed to prove himself if they wouldn't even give him a chance?

He sat in his room and stared upwards, reaching out.

"Heimdall, I don't know if you can hear me, but... I trust you wouldn't just leave me here for no good reason. Don't prolong it any more than necessary. Please."

He hoped the gatekeeper would relay that message to his parents. No doubt they already knew he had the hammer. Whatever that meant in the grand scheme of things.

Speaking of which, he had put Mjölnir down next to his bed, feeling comforted by its presence, and woke to find Loki apparently trying to lift it.

He grinned when he realised Thor was awake, covering embarrassment maybe.

"Just checking," he said.

"Why can't you lift it, though?" Thor asked, sitting up. No point in hiding the fact that he'd gone to bed almost nude.

Loki had seen it all in the bath anyway.

"Well, according to the old stories, only the worthy can lift it. I think it's a translation error, personally."

Worthy. Well, what did that mean?

Thor was feeling pretty worthless at the moment, that was for sure. Lied to and used.

"I thought you might like to... try it out," Loki said. "In a safer environment than last time. I have a private training room where I hone my magic."

It wasn't like he had anything else to do. Sleep had been good for him, cooling the worst of his anger. He was stuck here. That wasn't Loki's fault. He could be friendly.

And it turned out to be far from the small training space he had expected. This was a cavern all its own.

"This belongs to you?" Thor found himself asking, mouth open in admiration.

"And my brothers. Of course, we lend it to the army when they need it, but it's mainly ours. No one should disturb us."

"Us? You mean you intend to train too?"

"Why not? Just to warm up. You can show me some Asgardian drills. I trust you practise them?"

Of course. Thor wasn't sure how hard to go. Loki seemed more bookish than athletic, but then again, his legs were strong, his shoulders and arms rounded with muscle.

There were even staffs to train with, though clearly over-large for them. And Loki seemed genuinely keen to learn, following Thor's motions.

"We do things similarly here," he said once they'd repeated a few moves. "Though of course it's probably easier if you can hold the stick more in the middle."

Exercise had been a good idea. Thor revelled in his muscle memory, one to two to three, forward, back... He could lose himself in this.

Once he felt suitably stretched, he made for Mjölnir, only for Loki to stop him.

"Call to it," he said. "Summon it."

"How?"

"It knew how to fly. Maybe it knows how to do this too."

Fair point. Thor took a few steps back and held out his hand, thinking very hard about the hammer flying across the room to him.

He wasn't expecting it to actually do so, springing to his grasp and humming joyfully. Thor laughed, presently surprised. How many years had he spent going cross-eyed, trying to make objects move? And all he really needed was the right object.

They experimented. There seemed to be no limit to how far away he could be and still call the hammer to him. He could throw it and call it back in midair too.

"Can you call lightning in here?" Loki asked. "You managed in my chambers before."

Well, why not? No huge strikes, of course. He'd learned his lesson there. But he was able to make his whole body spark, channel it to the hammer and back again, watching as Loki's hair began to stand on end, floating like he was under water.

He tugged his own hair out of its tie to let it fly free too, chuckling at it, only to see Laufey entering the room over Loki's shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"I am helping Prince Thor learn about his new tool," Loki said, not even looking round. "I am curious about it. And besides, I am the one who'll be dealing with it."

Thor frowned, confused, as Laufey sighed.

"Loki..."

"I mean, unless you have decided to house Prince Thor somewhere else for some reason."

A steely stare, a warning finger.

"You are on thin ice. Stop causing trouble."

Loki made a face after he left, smoothing down his hair. Thor felt they'd bonded a little, enough for him to risk asking an honest question.

"Why are they making you spend time with me when you don't like me?"

Loki threw him a surprised look.

"I do like you."

"No, you don't. You think I'm stupid for one thing."

"Your father lied to you. That's hardly your fault. Besides, you have a few good points."

Thor couldn't help laughing.

"Such as?"

"Passion. You care. Not a pretence of caring, but a genuine one. You care about your people, your father, your history. And you care about the truth too."

Yes, he did. The more he thought about the war, of the stories he had known about it, the more questions he had. Some of them were so detailed, precise histories of which general had led which battalion. And yet, when it came to Hela, he only knew that she had died. He didn't know precisely where or when.

Of course, he'd put it down to Father not wanting to dwell on such a painful period of his life, but maybe... Maybe it was because he was hiding something.

It didn't bear thinking about. He certainly didn't want to believe it.

But the doubt was there now. Gnawing away at the back of his mind.

Mjölnir hummed in his grasp.

"These conduits..." he said thoughtfully. "It feels intelligent. Nearly alive. Do they have... memories, do you think?"

"I'm not sure," Loki said. "But... Well, we could always try to find out."

"Does that count as causing trouble, do you think?"

A snort, but a small one.

"Probably. But then again, I like trouble."

Did he... just wink?

Well...

Well, he'd puzzle about that later. For now, it seemed they were going to the library.


	14. Chapter 14

Asgard had a fine library. Books from all the realms, rebound for their shelves in beautiful shades of cloth and leather. Healing treatise from Vanaheim, mineral directories from Nornheim, even a couple of interesting texts from Midgard.

This was very different. Tall shelves of scrolls and thick volumes of books, much larger than what they had at home. The ceiling seemed miles away, almost like clouds could form up there.

Loki seemed to know exactly where the right books would be found. Magic seemed to be a particular interest of his Thor supposed.

In fact, they even seemed to have moved some of these books to a lower level for Loki's easier access. Not that Thor was mentioning that out loud. He wasn't sure just how much Loki's height was a tender point.

The librarians eyed them with a degree of curiosity as he helped to unroll a huge vellum piece.

"Why don't you use paper?" he asked.

"Because we don't have the trees. We copy all books that come our way. It's tradition. And, well... Other realms' books tend to be too small. The text is very tiny to most eyes here."

That made a lot of sense, for all they were rolling this scroll right the way down a bench, Loki straddling it as he tried to find something relevant.

"Hmm... You know, you're right. It says conduits can hold resonances."

"Can I access them?"

"Hang on, let me see..."

A hammer could not lie. It wasn't capable of lying. And though he wasn't exactly looking forward to reliving his sister's final moments, at least he could aquit her of the terrible crimes she'd been accused of.

Loki hummed like he was dealing with a particularly troublesome riddle.

"You can, but it involves some pretty complex ritualism."

"How complicated?"

"Not so complicated that I can't do it. We'll just need to improvise a few things."

Well, that sounded incredibly safe...

"What things?"

Loki ran one finger over the page, not quite touching it.

"I have all the necessary ingredients, but it advises being in a secluded pool. The bath will have to do as I doubt you'd survive the sea here even if we managed to get to some actual water. And I don't have exactly the right tools, but I'm sure it will still work. It will be fun."

"A pool? Why?"

"The sensation of weightlessness helps, apparently. It says you'll see things, hear them as though they are before you."

"And you're sure it's... not harmful?"

"Why, Prince Thor, anyone would think you didn't entirely trust me."

Thor paused for a moment. Diplomacy or truth?

"I don't," he said shrugging. "I don't know you. And some of what you say is lies. Other things, I'm not so sure of."

Loki nodded as he began to roll the scroll back up.

"See?" he said. "Not stupid at all. But logically, if any harm were to befall you while in my care, then I wouldn't so much be in trouble as doomed. I won't let anything go awry. I promise."

Curiosity was dangerous, his mother always said. But ignorance was worse. He wanted to know. He had to know.

"Fine," he said. "Just tell me what I need to do."

"That's the kind of thing I like to hear."

This was a different side to Loki, wasn't it? Mischievous and cheeky. It felt real, though. Sincere.

Thor quite liked him like this. He seemed like someone you could have adventures with, in another life. Like someone he could be friends with.

Then again, since he knew Loki was under strict instructions to befriend him, maybe he couldn't think of this as entirely without artifice after all.

He couldn't really ponder that in Loki's real private room though. It was much too distracting.

No one could make this much mess in a short space of time. Not even mess necessarily, but clutter. Books and scrolls were used as markers in other books, clothes strewn everywhere, bottles with varying levels of fullness on shelves overflowing with objects.

Thor didn't want to touch anything for fear of causing an avalanche.

"Hands, please. I'll need you to hold a few things."

Well, he could do that, at least.

"I take it no one is ever allowed in here?"

"No. They'd only mess things up."

How anything could possibly be more messy, Thor wasn't sure, but he wasn't going to argue. He accepted various corked bottles, a pestle and mortar, a skin that seemed to contain sand, a small silver dish and what he could only describe as a stick.

"I think that will do it," Loki said. "It's elven magic so of course it wants a great wooden staff, but I'm sure it will do. Shall we?"

"Might as well give it a try."

The bath bubbled up while Loki crushed some dried herbs and Thor tried to stick to his convictions.

Hela had not done such things. She hadn't.

And soon he'd know for sure.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to draw your attention to the violence warning above. Thank you.

"You'll have to undress, of course," Loki said.

"I... What? Why?"

"I need to apply this directly to your skin. And besides, you'd get your clothes completely soaked."

Thor could feel himself blushing and stammering.

"Oh, come on," Loki said. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. I might be built a little differently to you, but I'm sure you've got nothing I haven't seen before."

It was mortifying, but Thor didn't want to seem scared. Besides, he wasn't ashamed of his body, willing the blood to leave his face as he carefully stripped off.

"Kneel down for me."

He tried to make it seem natural that his hands just happened to be covering his cock as Loki shuffled closer, stirring his concoction and drawing patterns onto Thor's arms and back.

"Call the hammer."

Easily done. It flew to his hand easily, though it felt a little different in his grasp. He'd felt a connection right from the beginning, but this was not the same.

It almost felt invasive from his side. Like he was doing something wrong or at least without permission. He found himself squeezing the handle gently, like he was trying to reassure it. It was alright. He meant no harm.

The uneasy feeling only grew stronger as Loki drew a long spiral down his forearm and hand and continued onto the hammer itself, its usual hum somehow... anxious.

"Get into the water."

Nerves coiling in his stomach, Thor tried to be modest about it, slipping beneath the surface. Loki soaked up the rest of his herbal mix with sand, swirling the dish and then pouring it into the bath, stirring with his thin makeshift staff.

"Close your eyes," he said. "It's easy. You're just going to remember something you have never remembered before. Reach back and remember what Mjölnir remembers."

Maybe it wouldn't work. Thor wasn't even sure how to remember something on demand like that.

Worth a try though. He could remember finding the hammer. And then...

_Then darkness and cold for so long. Alone. All alone. Left here. Waiting. Waiting for you._

No. It was before that.

Show me Hela, Thor thought, trying to make it seem like an order.

And suddenly he wasn't in the bath anymore.

_It was freezing cold, Jotun winter, the snow thick and drifted, but partially frozen on the surface. Enough to form a crust. Light, quick steps could almost dance their way across it._

_There was screaming in the air. Gutteral cries and yells, two armies meeting, but the Bifrost had lit up clearly in the dull night sky and Hela cursed Heimdall with spitting rage._

_"I'll have his eyes for this. We'll see how well he watches when they're on spikes."_

_Mistress's voice. Turning and following half-covered footprints. There were figures hiding there in the mountains, some large, some not so large._

_A laugh. A horrible, horrible laugh. And then magic, white hot and searing, but not painful. Wonderful. Glorious. Purposeful._

_Screaming. Such awful screaming. The magic was not wonderful to these beings. It hurt them. It made their skin char and burn and burst, it turned them to ash._

_Panic. Running. Kill, said Hela, the rush of air and THUNK into a skull, CRACK against a spine and back to a waiting hand._

_Some of the creatures were trying to escape. A block of glass, they turned. Another block, another, another..._

_Pleading. Screaming. Begging._

_A column of flame and heat drawn up from the very depths of the realm, melting the snow, making them dance and jump, holding their children up as hot steam enveloped them, their skin scalded and their feet burned..._

_Burned..._

Thor's lungs were on fire. He couldn't breathe. Loki's hand was on top of his head, holding him under, but he let go immediately when grabbed at. Thor struggled violently to the surface of the water, coughing and spluttering as Loki tried to help him out of the pool.

"Are you well? Are you alright?"

"You..." A strong fit of coughing. "You tried to drown me!"

"You were screaming. I tried to get you back, but you were insensible so I thought a little dunk might just... Anyway it worked. You're fine."

Thor wheezed for breath, tasting blood and bile in his mouth, distantly aware that tears were rolling down his face.

"I've never heard her voice before," he managed.

It seemed such a strange thing, to somehow know how she sounded when he would never meet her.

"What did you see?"

What had he seen?

Terrible things. He'd thought he'd seen some of the worst that death could offer, but he had never seen anything like that. Such slaughter of civilians, torturing them because...

Because she could. And because she was angry. He had felt it, that anger, even as the hammer.

Mjölnir rested at the bottom of the pool but flew to his outstretched hand easily to let him wipe the magic ointment from her.

And it was definitely a her. He'd seen the world how she had seen it. Had felt the joy of being loved by Hela and yet equally a sense that this was not right. This was not what her magic ought to do. Not what anyone's ought to do.

He remembered suddenly a fight from his childhood, stupid rough and tumble, how his mother had been furious with him afterwards as she cleaned up his bruises.

"You are strong, Thor," she'd said. "And you could use that strength to hurt people. But you can choose not to. That's not what it is for."

It had stuck with him. He tried to use his strength for good, to protect people, to build and when he had to battle, he tried to make it end quickly.

Mjölnir was a conduit for magic, but her power was not for harming innocent people, far less hurting them for no reason. She hadn't liked doing it. She just wanted to be useful.

But Hela had been her mistress and she had to obey. There was such a strange mix of emotions there. Love for her, but also pain at what she was used for.

Or maybe the pain had come later. Once she'd been left alone in the dark and the cold for centuries.

If the hammer could think, really think, that had been plenty of time for reflection.

"Thor? What did you see?"

It felt almost burned into his eyes for all that he hadn't really seen it.

Should he admit it? What he knew now?

He didn't want to. But the hammer couldn't lie. It was the truth, however much he wanted to pretend it wasn't.

"I saw the massacre," he said quietly. "And it was... It was..."

"Bad enough to make you scream horribly."

Thor nodded, remembering belatedly that he was naked. It didn't seem as important as it had any more, but all the same...

"Could I have a towel?"

Loki glanced down, his eyes going wide for a moment before rushing to fetch one.

"And did you... see what happened afterwards?" he asked as Thor stood on trembling legs and tried to regain some dignity.

"No. No, it had... She had barely begun, I fear."

He felt sick. Like he would never forget those screams, those images... He wanted to wash, to cleanse himself, but the idea of getting back into the bath so soon...

In fact, he wanted to leave this room completely. He wanted some fresh air, but not to see anyone else. If only there was a window or something...

He ended up fetching one of the blankets from his bed, sitting on one of Loki's couches, drinking a fragrant tea that Loki said would help him calm down. He wasn't sure if it was helping as such, but it certainly wasn't hurting.

"She did it," he said, barely more than a murmur, like it wouldn't be true if he didn't say it too loudly.

Loki said nothing, just looked at him, concerned. Thor felt something of a prickle in his eyes. No wonder they didn't like him. They knew who he was.

"How can you even bear to have me here? She's my sister and she..."

"You're not her. And you're not your father either."

Thor knew he wouldn't look into Mjölnir's memories again. He couldn't. It had been too much.

Which meant he'd have to find another way to uncover exactly how Hela had died.


	16. Chapter 16

All those years. All those stories. And they'd been hiding this...

Thor was struggling. Before resentment grew in his heart at how he would never live up to Hela's example, he had idolised her. The sister who gave her life for Asgard, who gave up everything so he could have all he had.

Had she done this kind of thing before? Was this just the first time she'd been caught?

Thor had not seen inside her mind, but he had felt Mjölnir's channeling of her emotions. He had felt her rage.

What could possibly have made her so angry?

Loki had a servant informed that Prince Thor was indisposed and that they would dine in private. No one seemed to have any objections.

Thor couldn't even bring himself to wonder if their last two meals had really been as terrible as all that. Or maybe they just wanted him to become friends with Loki.

Food was duly brought - after he'd dressed at least enough so as not to shock - but Thor found he had little appetite.

"You should try to eat," Loki said. "It will help."

"I fear I will be ill."

"Please try? I can hardly send you back to Asgard half starved."

He tried. Taste seemed to reach him from a distance. Like he was remembering how things ought to be flavoured rather than actually experiencing them.

Still, he ate and Loki was right. It helped a little.

"You've had a shock," Loki said gently. "And I had not realised quite what an effect it would have on you."

"I thought it would be like watching a play. But instead it was as though I was the hammer. Like I did those terrible things against my will."

"It wasn't you. You know it wasn't. You had only just been born."

"I know. But I still feel guilty for not knowing. I ought to have known."

Loki shrugged one shoulder.

"You were lied to. Or at least the truth was kept from you which is almost the same thing. And I understand exactly why. Asgard wanted peace, could not sustain the fighting. It was humiliating, to a degree, to have to be the ones to blink first. And evidently, Hela did not agree. It would have been embarrassing enough for Odin to say that his daughter had tried to reignite hostilities to the realm's detriment, let alone admit that she'd committed a war crime. Better to invent a noble death for her."

It did make a lot of sense.

"I'd advise getting used to it."

Thor felt a frown fall over his face, sluggish, delayed.

"What?"

"You should get used to being lied to. It happens more than you'd think."

"I don't want to be lied to."

"I'm just saying it happens. Sometimes for good reasons."

That... sounded distinctly like he was talking about something specific.

"I still can't believe that my father... He wouldn't have. He loved her."

Loki took his hand across the table, a comforting gesture. Thor stared at it for a moment, marvelling at the deep blue of his skin.

"He didn't have a choice. She had to be stopped."

Tears prickled in Thor's eyes. Was he deluding himself? He had seen what Hela had done.

Maybe it had been an accident. Maybe he only meant to stop her but then she fell awkwardly and...

The door to Loki's rooms opened without even a knock and Thor hurriedly yanked his hand away, reflexively. Laufey might not like seeing his youngest holding hands with anyone, let alone a former foe. No matter that it was innocent.

When he was brave enough to glance over, he found Laufey smiling, a real smile but one which put his every cell on edge.

"So glad to see you're getting on well together. Are you feeling better, Prince Thor?"

"A little. Thank you."

"Loki always was a good nurse. I need a word with him in private, if you'll excuse us."

"Of course," Thor said, lurching to his feet and going to his room.

Maybe he could overhear at least a little. If he strained his ears.

The stone door was pleasantly cool beneath his cheek.

"...context," Loki was saying. "He'd find out sooner or later. I just made it sooner."

"I'm getting impatient.You know what you are supposed to be doing and it is not this."

"Give me more time. You can't just rush into these things, Father."

"Can't you?"

Thor frowned. Were they talking about him? What was Loki meant to be doing? Had he been charged with the negotiating?

"Their watcher cannot see details inside our walls," Laufey said. "But he can tell Thor is distressed. I have had a note from Asgard. They do not like this. This sour mood could ruin everything."

"They should have thought about that before they sent him here with barely any preparation."

"Cheer him up, Loki. That is not a request."

Thor did not want to be cheered. He wanted to dwell on this longer, even if he knew it was not helpful. Besides, perhaps if Heimdall grew concerned at his stormy attitude, he'd get to go home early.

He changed into clothes more suitable for sleeping and was sorting out his blankets when Loki knocked.

"I think I shall go to bed," he said. "Perhaps sleep will help quiet my mind."

A nod.

"Of course. I shall try not to disturb you. Good night."

Sighing, Thor got into bed.

Loki was right after all. They were constantly lying to one another.


	17. Chapter 17

Thor didn't believe it was possible for him to sleep, and certainly at first he was haunted by what he'd seen, what he'd heard. His stomach felt like it was physically tying in knots, aching and turbulent, and an awful chill radiated from his heart to the top of his head and down to his fingertips, making them itch.

He was almost tempted to ask Loki for one of his soporific teas, but finally exhaustion caught him, feeling like a cloak falling in front of his eyes. Not a deep sleep perhaps, but serviceable.

He dreamt that he saw his father's face, ashamed and horrified before growing stern, saw him lifting his spear Gugnir and pointing it at him...

He woke with a cry and then the horrible realisation that there was someone in the room with him. In the bed with him even...

"Shh," Loki whispered. "It's only me."

"What're you doing?"

"You're clearly in need of... comfort."

What?

Thor practically flinched as he felt Loki's hand on him, cool even through his sleep clothes, straying low.

"It doesn't have to mean anything."

Thor pushed his hand away, shocked to find his fingers brushing bare skin. Was Loki naked? Why was he naked?! What was going on?

Laufey had... He'd told him to cheer Thor up, hadn't he? Maybe that was what he was trying to do.

"Loki, I..."

"Hush."

Right, right, and that was the weight of being straddled, his hands automatically flying to Loki's waist, feeling his lean muscles moving as he rolled his hips right over Thor's crotch.

It was tempting. Very tempting. Thor wasn't going to pretend it wasn't. He could forget himself for a while, lose himself to pleasure. But he did not trust this at all.

"Please, stop," he said, pushing Loki away, scrambling to put some distance between them.

"I just want to make you feel good."

 _"Cheer me up,_ you mean?"

A beat and then a sigh. Loki illuminated the witch light a little, enough for them to actually see each other. He'd loosened his hair, letting it fall over his bare shoulders. Which Thor had seen before, of course, but still. It was different like this. Closer. More intimate.

"You listened in," Loki said.

"I knew you'd be talking about me," Thor retorted.

"It's rude to eavesdrop."

"It's also rude to accost people in the night."

Loki shook his head, smiling ruefully. Closing his eyes, sighing again. He did look good like this, Thor had to admit, but he didn't trust this at all.

"You don't like me, Loki," he said. "Why would I trust this? There's something else going on. And I don't like being lied to, however much you think I should get used to it."

"I don't have to like you to like the look of your cock. Would you like to see mine, so we're even?"

He didn't even wait for Thor to respond, just threw off the blankets. And though he tried not to, shock and curiosity dragged Thor's eyes downwards.

It turned out he did have something Loki didn't have. There were no testicles to be seen here. A flaccid cock, nestled in jet black hair and below it...

Loki gently moved it to the side and parted himself with his fingers, revealing deep purple flesh, the distinct folds of a cunt concealed there. Thor hadn't really known what he imagined it would look like, but he could feel himself staring, his mouth even watering slightly without his permission as Loki gently caressed himself.

"Like what you see?"

Thor tore his eyes away.

"You don't want this," he said. "You're not hard and you're not even a little wet. It would hurt."

"Easily remedied."

Thor grabbed his wrist as he moved to suck on one finger.

"I like my partners willing," he said. "More than that, even. Wanting. Certain."

"I'm offering you my body on a plate."

"And I don't think you would have chosen to do that of your own volition. Why are they pushing you to do this?"

He could tell he was right. For some reason, Laufey was encouraging Loki to seduce him. "Befriending" him didn't come into it.

Loki's silence was only convincing him further. He wasn't even trying to lie about it.

"I was never going to be involved in trade discussions, was I?"

"Arranged marriages are a sort of trade. If you think about it."

Just when he'd thought this day couldn't get any worse...

"An arranged... Do my parents know about this?"

"I... I believe it was your father's idea. One child for another."

That didn't make sense. How did Hela's death mean he had to get married? Unless it was Loki's sacrifice. Taking Laufey's child as payment.

But if he'd been the one to kill Hela himself, then...

"I don't think I understand. Why didn't they just tell me?"

"Maybe they knew you wouldn't like it. I was supposed to... To play nice and then seduce you. To make you warm to the idea. Make you think you'd chosen it."

"Well, I refuse. You don't want this, I don't want this. Let's just say no."

Loki touched his cheek gently, his eyes so sincere.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple."

He slipped out of bed, picking up a robe from the floor and slipping it on, shoulders down.

"Get some sleep. We can talk about it in the morning."

He dimmed the light to blackness as he left. Thor stayed sat up in bed, mind swirling. His sister was a war criminal. His father might have killed her. And he and Loki were... engaged. Against their will.

Well, not if he had anything to do with it.


	18. Chapter 18

To say he'd not slept well was quite an understatement. Thor felt like his eyes were full of sand as he repacked his bag the next morning. He'd been sent here under false pretences. He was therefore going to leave, calmly and quietly.

Loki had clearly also been awake for some time. He looked at Thor's pack, and then at his face, warning in his eyes.

"Thor, we don't have a choice about this."

"There's always a choice."

"Not in this."

"Why not? Why are you just going along with it?"

"Because this has been planned for some time. Our whole lives in fact. And I know why."

Thor slammed himself down in the other chair, utterly confused. Why wasn't Loki fighting this? So what if it was planned? No one had asked them. Surely they could just refuse.

What was particularly galling to him was that they had tried to trick him. They had sent him here and put Loki in front of him in the hopes that... What? He'd find him exotic and therefore attractive?

Loki was attractive, fair enough, but that was hardly enough of a basis for a strong connection or a good marriage.

They'd sent Loki to his bed, even. They'd ordered him to go and seduce him, to seduce him and trap him in this union.

Suddenly a lot of what Loki had done made sense to him. He'd tried to give Thor a greater understanding of the complex history between their realms and the end of the war, what Hela had done. Tried to prepare him for finding all this out.

And when it came to Mjölnir... Well, that was perhaps more concerning, but he could just about get his head around it. Thor was to be his husband. There was a very powerful magical object just sitting around up in the mountains, of no use to anyone. Thor could control Mjölnir and in turn Loki could control him through... wiles or something.

He was thinking of his future and of becoming the power behind the throne of Asgard. No wonder Laufey wasn't best pleased about it. They were not supposed to have their own agency, certainly not yet. Loki's role was not to seek power for himself, it was to seduce Thor, marry him and go and bear children.

And he was refusing to go quietly. So why not just say no completely?

"Why?" Thor asked helpfully, shaking his head. "Why are you so sure that this will happen?"

Loki pressed his lips together. Tightly. Nostrils flaring.

"I fear you won't believe me if I do tell you," he said carefully. "Which means I'll have to show you, but that is easier said than done."

This was suspicious. But then again, Loki was the only one being even vaguely honest with him. He was the one who had led him to Mjölnir, had helped him learn the truth about the massacre. And now he wanted to show him more truth.

He would be lying if he claimed to be overly keen on that considering the other things he had learned. Still, it was important. He would not turn his eyes away.

"What do we need to do?" he asked. "It's not more magic, is it?"

"Only if hiding in plain sight is magic. Dress well and I shall take you on a palace tour. A longer one. Smile. Be at ease."

Thor opened his pack to find a suitable outfit.

"I don't think I'll ever be at ease again."

"Well, I fear I am only going to make that worse."

What could possibly be worse?!

A change of shirt and he was ready, though his face likely wasn't exactly portraying the carefree attitude Loki had urged.

How he had hated Loki's false smile when they first met and now he was the one wearing it.

Loki was right. No one stopped or questioned them. They even bumped into Byleister and merely got a cursory remark about being glad they were feeling better.

Until Loki turned down one particular corridor. One that went straight into the mountain itself.

"Where are you going, my prince?" they were asked, a guard looking uncertainly at them.

"To the boiler room. Prince Thor is curious about the springs."

"We heat our water over fires," Thor added, hoping this was helpful. "I'm very interested to see it."

They weren't sure, that much was obvious, but they let them pass all the same.

"We won't have long," Loki murmured. "They'll tell my father soon for one thing."

"Where are we really going?" Thor whispered back, getting only a head shake in response.

It was hot down here. Not unpleasant necessarily, but certainly noticable. They had to be deep inside the mountain, closer to the thermal vents.

Loki stopped suddenly and laid his hand against the wall, illuminating it in shades of blue, spiralling out from his palm.

And then part of the wall dissolved.

"What is this place?" Thor asked, his whole being on edge.

"It's a dungeon."

A dungeon? Why would they be in a dungeon...?

There was only one cell. Smaller than he'd expected. And it set his teeth on edge to be near it, like knives on glass, the air somehow horrible.

Was that a figure within it? Sleeping, maybe?

Thor approached cautiously, noticing the hand and foot cuffs, the long black hair, the pale skin, the face...

A face he knew so well, though it was impossible to see it here.

"It can't be," he heard himself say.

"She's sleeping. They keep her asleep almost all of the time. For her safety and everyone else's. This whole chamber is full of magic repressant too, just in case. I hope you understand now. And we should get out before we're caught."

Thor barely heard his words. He had to leave. He had to get back to Asgard, now.

Had to tell his father the truth.

Had to tell him that Hela lived.


	19. Chapter 19

"Don't run," Loki hissed, like he was unaware that Thor needed to be out of this palace, out of this realm...

He walked out of the corridor by Loki's side, but then began to sprint, hearing Loki shouting and his rapidly following footsteps. Heimdall could not see inside the palace, but if he could get outside...

"What's the rush, Odinson?" Helblindi asked, half laughing as Thor careened round a corner and almost bounced off him. "Loki causing you trouble?"

No time. Thor ducked between his legs and kept running, heading for the exit.

The freezing cold air hit him like a punch in the face, cutting through the single shirt he was wearing, but he kept moving as best he could through the snow.

"Heimdall!" he yelled towards the sky. "Heimdall, help me!"

Loki was faster than him on this terrain, less affected by the cold. He was gaining on him. Thor turned, crouching, Mjölnir in his grasp, wondering if he could fling her far and escape...

The Bifrost hit, a sudden blast of sound and colour, dragging him homewards. Thank the norns! He'd be able to get help, find out what was really going on, get Father and bring Hela home.

Until he realised he could hear screaming behind him. Loki. He'd been caught in the bridge beam, was being dragged along in it.

Thor landed in a crouch as usual, ready to run, Loki falling into a sprawl beside him.

"Heimdall, where is my father?" Thor asked urgently. "I have vital news. I must speak to him."

"Peace, Thor. Calm down."

He watched as Heimdall helped Loki up, offering an arm steady him. First time travelling by Bifrost tended to have that effect.

"Welcome to Asgard, Prince Loki. My apologies, we did not know you were coming."

"Nor did I," Loki offered, glaring at Thor. "And nor do I intend to stay. We must go back now or risk ruining everything."

Thor shook his head, vehement.

"No. I must speak with Father. Hela lives, Heimdall! The Giants have her imprisoned and unconscious within the depths of their palace. We must go and rescue her, bring her home."

Heimdall laid a hand on his shoulder, looking at him very seriously.

"He knows, Thor. He's always known. I'm sorry. I'm sure he wanted to tell you himself, when the time was right."

No... No, that couldn't be true. Thor could see himself in Heimdall's eyes, the way his face was crumpling. How could his father have known? How could he have just left her there?

"That's what I was trying to tell you," Loki said behind him. "A child for a child. Odin can have Hela back and take care of her as long as we are wed and our children grow up to rule Asgard. It was part of the peace treaty and the reparations."

No... No, no, no...

"I don't believe it," Thor said. "I won't, not until I hear it from his lips."

He stormed his way off towards the main palace, spinning Mjölnir into a glide so as to get there quicker.

It had been morning when they left Jotunheim. It was night here, the dawn just glimmering on the horizon, so Mother and Father could still be asleep. Thor took the stairs two at a time, so fast that the guards even drew their weapons before recognising him.

"We did not expect you back to soon, my prince."

"I did not expect to be back."

He hammered upon the door. At least he wouldn't burst in without announcement. He still had some manners, even if his nerves were frayed.

His mother answered the door, her left hand glowing with magic to light her way.

"Thor?"

He pulled her into a one-armed hug, pressing his nose to her hair and inhaling deeply. That familiar smell of home and safety, comfort. Surely she hadn't known why he'd been sent. She wouldn't have done that to him.

"I need to speak with Father urgently," he mumbled against her ear, not wanting to let go.

"I'm coming."

It was more of a growl than a sentence, Odin's voice rough with sleep, the faint sound of his hand scrabbling to find his eye patch.

It was rare to see his father in sleeping clothes. Even in his most informal moments, he tended to wear light armour.

"You're not supposed to be here," he said once his good eye had managed to focus, confused almost.

"She lives," Thor said, still clutching at his mother's nightgown like a child. "Hela lives. The Jotuns are holding her in the dungeons below their palace. We have to rescue her. We must bring her home."

He felt Frigga stiffen. Shocked? Or just surprised he knew?

"Did Loki tell you that?" Odin asked.

"He showed her to me. And he's here. And he took me to find this hammer, her hammer, up in the mountains. And he's been telling me a lot of things that I refuse to entertain. He's a liar. They all are. They must be."

He waited for confirmation and received only silence.

"I always said you should have told him the truth," Frigga said eventually.

Thor felt part of his heart shatter.


	20. Chapter 20

Everything Loki had said was true. Or most of it at least. And Thor didn't know what to do about that, his mind a whirl of conflicting feelings and fears.

They'd ended up in one of the smaller council chambers, Heimdall bringing Loki to them before returning to his usual post.

Frigga went into hostess mode immediately, welcoming him, apologising that they were not fully prepared for this surprise arrival, offering him any refreshments he might want. All politely declined.

Thor knew he ought to be nicer, but he was angry. Furious, even. His whole life, all this time, and secretly there had been an agreement that would take his freedom away from him. Freedom to choose who to marry, who to love...

"When was it decided?" he asked, stony, cold. "Was I even born when it was agreed?"

Odin sighed heavily, almost hunched over the table.

"We were tabling peace discussions when Laufey went into labour suddenly. Unexpectedly. You were only a few weeks old. And Hela... Hela was not coping with the idea of bringing the conflict to a close, especially not decisively victorious. I thought it was just the adjustment. She had got used to Frigga. She would get used to sometimes not winning. I thought it would just take time. But then she... She took the army to Jotunheim on her own."

These were hard memories and Thor watched as his mother reached over to squeeze her husband's hand. The love between them was palpable even after all these years.

Could he imagine being like that with Loki some day? He wasn't sure.

"We had been at war so long," Odin said. "She couldn't imagine anything else. I hadn't realised that she was not only a great warrior but that she considered it her entire life. Thought herself purposeless without it. And when I went to stop her, to call her off..."

"She massacred the civilians," Thor said.

He didn't want to go over it again. He knew what had happened intimately. He knew more than his father could guess..

"The Jotuns say you killed her," he added. "That's what is says in their texts. Did you know that? It says you struck her down."

"That is the official story. I... I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't hear me. She told me I was weak, that I wasn't thinking of Asgard. But she was wrong. And I... I did strike her down. To stop her. But I didn't kill her."

"And then what? They captured her from under your nose? How else did she end up there?"

A heavy, heavy sigh.

"She's dangerous, Thor. She's ill. Laufey did not trust us to keep her under control and safe, not without safeguards. And with Loki being... as he is, it made sense that we made an agreement to unite our houses."

"So we get married and you get her back?"

"We're prepared now. We have the ability to take care of her properly."

Well, wasn't that neat and tidy?

"And what about what we want?" Thor demanded. "Loki and me. We weren't consulted about any of this."

Odin looked at him, nonplussed.

"Arranged marriages are normal for those of your rank, Thor. Of course, I would have preferred to have waited until you were older to decide on a possible spouse, but... It's unusually convenient as these things go. You're the same age, the same status. It makes a lot of sense. It would make sense regardless of other circumstances."

"Why didn't you just tell me?!"

Shaking head, clasped hands. No eye contact.

"We were waiting for the right time. But you... You have always resented Hela."

Thor physically moved back, like he'd been struck.

"That is not true!" he spluttered.

Even his mother wasn't backing him up on this apparently, looking at him with such sorrow and concern.

"You were always comparing yourself to her," she said gently. "Criticising yourself. And it turned into something ugly. I believe we should have told you years ago, but I understand why your father didn't. Because you would see this as yet another time you were second to her. Sold for her. And that is not what's happening."

"Isn't it? Isn't that exactly what's happening?"

"It's not that simple."

Thor pointed at them accusingly.

"You married for love. Why can't I?"

"My first marriage was arranged," Odin said hotly. "And she and I learned to appreciate one another. I mourned her death for centuries before I met your mother and found I could love again."

"But I don't... I don't want to."

There was no way to make that not sound petulant and childish and Thor burned to hear it. It was how he felt though. Surely they had to take that into consideration.

Loki had been sitting quietly, almost so much so that Thor could forget he was listening.

"Am I truly so repulsive that you would rather go back to war than be wed to me?" he asked, voice tight and restrained.

Thor felt himself deflate. Of course, this must seem very offensive, however much it was not meant to be so.

"It is not you," he insisted. "I do not want to be pushed into a marriage with anyone."

Loki nodded, smiling grimly.

"I suppose I have had longer to come to terms with it," he said. "They used to tell me as a child, when I was feeling small and strange and too different, that my condition was a blessing for I had stopped the war. I was not to leave the realm or take any risks. I had one purpose - to marry you and put my children upon the throne of Asgard. I used to... to dream of you. My betrothed. What you'd be like, what your hobbies would be, how you'd look and sound, how we would get to know one another. And then they announced that you were finally coming but that you knew nothing of the arrangement. I had to make you fall in love with me. Make you think you'd chosen this of your own accord. Do you have any idea how much pressure I have been under?"

Thor privately thought Loki could have done a much better job of charming him. Still, he couldn't help feeling a bit guilty.

"They didn't tell you we were so physically different," he pointed out. "A surprise for the wedding night?"

Loki huffed, folding his arms.

"You're so flippant," he said. "You do realise there are consequences for your actions, don't you? The peace has stood this long on the express condition that we marry. It's not just Hela's future at stake. It's everyone's. So I suppose you need to decide whether you want to be the one to reignite the war. Do you want to live at peace or will you be your sister's brother and lead your subjects to slaughter?"

Thor looked at his parents, their concerned faces. He thought of the people - of Asgard and Jotunheim both - and of Hela lying unconscious within the depths of the mountain palace and knew his choice had already been made.

"I should have been told," he said, shaking his head. "It's the lying I can't stand. But... But things could be worse, I suppose. Loki is clever and cunning. Patient. Skilled."

Handsome, his mind supplied, but he felt such a compliment would be unwelcome.

Loki ran a hand through his hair, his braid unraveled from the Bifrost.

"I'm glad you at least have some sense," he said. "But what exactly do you plan to tell my family about having kidnapped me?"

Ah. Yes. This was difficult ground.

"I simply couldn't wait to introduce my parents to my fiance, of course," he said, giving Loki a bitter smile.

He could play the smitten groom. It would be easy.

But he didn't have to be happy about it.


	21. Chapter 21

The people were thrilled when Odin announced the wedding after Loki had returned to Jotunheim as though everything had gone to plan. How romantic! The young prince meeting his one true love in the old enemy's palace. They pored over pictures of Loki, talking of how beautiful he was - for a Giant, of course - such hair and lips, what eyes, what cheekbones.

Well, Thor agreed broadly with that. And, of course, he had seen more than his face. It wasn't that he didn't find Loki attractive. Maybe in another life, he would have succumbed that night when Loki came to him.

But then the reveal of their engagement would have been even worse. Knowing he had been seduced with ulterior motives? He would have resented Loki for that, he knew it.

As it was, he was aware he was being tetchy but found it difficult to break out of his stormy mood. Loki had known what was going on and he hadn't. That made him jealous. But at the same time, they had been forced together by circumstances outwith their control and therefore ought to be allies. And Loki was going to have to come to a new place and a new culture where Thor was the only person he knew. That would be difficult for him.

At least he felt bad about it, Thor felt. And maybe by the time of the wedding, he'd have got over himself a little.

He was training hard one morning, hurling Mjölnir through targets and wondering how he had ever been without such a tool, when his mother arrived with the distinct look of being about to give him a lecture.

"I do hope you're not going to make things unpleasant for Loki when he returns," she said.

Thor called the hammer back from across the arena, enjoying the sound of it hitting his hand.

"Of course not. It's not his fault. I'm merely mourning the fact that I'm giving up any hopes of falling in love to marry a man I've known for all of three days."

"Closer to a week. The days on Jotunheim are nearly twice as long as ours. But their years are half as long so it balances out."

No wonder he'd been so tired then, if he'd been staying up two days at a time.

"Why didn't you tell me that before I went? Or about Helblindi and Byleister? Or about... any of it?"

She sighed, looking away.

"Your father felt that being a little adrift would encourage you to rely on Loki for support. That it would spark trust between you."

"All it did was make him think I was an imbecile and make me find him impossibly patronising."

A little laugh, that quiet way she always did.

"You'll get used to one another," she said. "At least promise me you'll make an effort?"

"I'll try to make the best of it."

He meant that. And surely that was all that could be expected of him.

"Come," she said, taking his arm. "I want to show you your new chambers."

"What new chambers?" Thor asked, falling into step beside her.

"Well, we can't expect Loki to try to fit all his things into your rooms. They're not nearly big enough for two."

Thor remembered how messy and cluttered Loki's sleeping space had been. Was there a room big enough for him in all the nine? Or would he just spread exponentially like an epidemic, covering every surface?

"Is there any scope for a kind of work room?" he asked. "Like a private office? I think Loki would like a space dedicated to his magic and experiments."

Frigga smiled at him, no doubt seeing such a conscientious gesture, thinking of what Loki would want, and Thor tried to stamp down his guilt at knowing he was selfishly trying to put him in a box.

"Shelves," he said. "For his books and his little... art pieces."

"And what about you? What do you want?"

"Oh... You know. A desk, I suppose. And wardrobe space, of course."

"Between the two of you, I wondered if a dressing room might be in order."

Yes, that was a good idea.

The suite was in the centre of the palace, closer to his parents than his current rooms. And at least Thor could throw himself into this as a distraction, planning and designing and knocking through walls, building other ones. He wasn't even too perturbed when Frigga suggested he send a plan over to Loki for final approval.

Making the best of it, after all.

He sketched out the rooms, the main living space, the washroom with its flowing stream and floor-standing bath, a work space, the wardrobe, the... the bedroom.

_~~To~~ Dear Loki,_

_This is the plan for our chambers. What do you think? Please add any changes or suggestions you see fit._

How to word things well?

_Above all, I want you to be comfortable in your new home. What colours do you favour? What furniture do you plan to bring?_

How much more sensitive could he be? How to end it?

_I value your thoughts and opinions._

_Thor_

Would that do? He agonised over the note for hours before giving it to one of his father's ravens for express delivery.

Loki's reply came during dinner.

_Layout fine. I will be bringing my bed, three bookcases, two chairs, a chaise, a low couch and a large armoire. Blue and white will remind me of my homeland, though I am also partial to green. It is rare here after all._

No signature. And all his furniture was coming by the sound of it.

Well, very well. Whatever his betrothed desired...


	22. Chapter 22

It wasn't so bad, even if Thor did say so himself. It would look better with a full range of furniture, of course, but that would come later. Thor had moved some of his belongings in, but mainly still in trunks and chests. They could unpack together. Fit their things around each other's.

The more he thought about it, though, the worse he felt. Loki had been imagining their future together for most of his life and the reality was understandably disappointing. He'd never live up to that imaginary husband, but he could at least make an effort.

He'd used pale blue drapes in the bedroom, fine and prone to floating in a light breeze. And there was a beautiful view from here. The mountains, the river. Trees, of course. Maybe they could take excursions, since Loki had never been to other realms. He'd not have seen forests in person before.

Maybe on his own turf, Thor wouldn't feel quite so unbalanced.

He even did some reading when he could, trying his best to learn at least something of the history and culture of Jotunheim. Their music. Their epic poetry.

There was so much more to them than war. So much he hadn't known about before.

Though, of course, Loki's arrival wasn't the only thing that was about to change.

Thor was looking for his mother to ask her opinion on rugs when he walked past a corridor that somehow hurt. There was a distinct magical frequency pouring out of it that made his bones seem to vibrate and it seemed to be Frigga doing the casting.

"What are you doing?" he asked, wincing.

She slumped, tired.

"This is where Hela is going to live," she said softly. "I'm putting in the first layer of protective spells."

Pretty strong ones by the feel of it. He wasn't normally sensitive enough to feel magic being worked.

"Protection for her or... for everyone else?"

"Both, I suppose. Would you like to see the rooms?"

'Rooms' was a nicer word than 'cell', he supposed...

It was a strange adjustment, difficult to get his head around. All his life, Hela had been dead. Revered, but dead. They were still officially claiming that. The idea that she would come and live here, restrained for what she'd done and what she might do...

"Will she ever be able to leave?" Thor asked. "Not properly, but out to the grounds maybe, in private?"

"We're not sure. Your father pretends there were no signs of what was happening with her, but there were. He just didn't see them. I love him, but he is not always the most observant of people. And sometimes he gets stuck in his ways and refuses to see what's right in front of him."

Thor was deeply uncomfortable, but glad to be trusted like this.

And the rooms were... nice. Much nicer than the way she was kept in Jotunheim. Soft furnishings. Books. A table with chairs as though she might expect visitors.

No windows, though. No sharp objects. And upon closer inspection, those chairs were fixed to the floor.

"What signs were there?" Thor heard himself ask. "You knew her. What's she like, really?"

Frigga sighed, running her fingertips over the smooth edges of the bedframe.

"Well, we didn't get along at first. We were beginning to accept one another when I fell pregnant. And that rather... put a strain on our relationship. She thought I was planning to usurp her, especially when you turned out to be male. But she was so clever. Sharp, really sharp. An excellent tactician, politician... But when she fought, there were very seldom survivors. Hardly ever, in fact. And if questioned, she'd say the injuries were too great, that she'd killed only out of mercy, but... But I suspect she just enjoyed it."

Thor looked at what was clearly a bricked up doorway in one corner.

"Why? What drove her to it?"

"She's unwell."

That sounded a little like an excuse. A convenient thing to blame to avoid talking about how the whole realm was obsessed with conflict.

"Lots of people are unwell and they don't do things like she did," he pointed out.

The silence told him he'd hit a sore point. Maybe it was easier to blame one reason, rather than to try to make sense of all the elements that led to such an awful crime.

"Unwell how?" he asked, trying to be merciful. She was drained at the moment, after all.

Frigga put an arm around his shoulder.

"She was at war so long that everyone began to seem like an adversary. She thought everyone was against her. And once Odin decided the war had to come to an end, he became an enemy too. A threat. But we can help her now, far more than just locking her up and making her sleep will."

The whole thing made Thor uneasy. He didn't want to think of his sister being restricted like that, but on the other hand it wasn't as though she could just be allowed to harm people, including herself.

Maybe these rooms were the best idea. Comfortable at least.

"What happens... when you and Father aren't able to care for her?" he asked uncertainly.

"Loki has the skills to contain her. He's really very impressive. It's taken a lifetime of study."

Not only the burden of a new husband, but the care of a new sister-in-law too?

And yet another thing decided for them.

Thor made his way back to his old rooms with a lot to consider.

Hadn't even got a second opinion on the rugs...


	23. Chapter 23

Thor went back to the library. If Hela was to become his responsibility, he wanted to understand more about her illness.

It was all so complicated, would have been even if he'd had any idea where to begin. All he knew about her was that she thought everyone was against her. Thought that she'd been usurped.

And now she'd been kept prisoner for a millennia and was about to be put in the care of her little brother who had leap-frogged over her towards the throne...

Who could blame her for thinking she was right? That they were lying to her? That everyone else was wrong and she was right?

There seemed to be several illnesses it could be. And some of them could be exacerbated by environmental influences.

How terrible to think of his father and wonder if he had unconsciously sowed the seeds of her destructiveness. All her life, she'd been encouraged to be war-like, unflinching. And then suddenly she was told that was wrong. She was wrong. Her whole being, wrong.

Despite her crimes, he felt sorry for her.

But was there not some medicine they could give her? Something to make her better?

The more he read, the more he realised that it wasn't so simple. It was more a case of management and maintenance than curing.

Still, he was sure there must be more she could look forward to than a life of confinement. Certainly more than being kept suspended, not even alert until she died.

He'd have to wait until he met her properly.

Laufey refused to allow her to be moved until after the wedding. Possibly suspected they might go back on the deal, which was a little insulting to their honour, but fine. He could do nothing about the arrangement now. He just had to accept it.

He kept trying to write to Loki. Descriptions of their rooms, suggestions of places they could visit together, asking if there was anything he would want in place before he arrived.

In answer, he mainly received boxes, sent to Heimdall along the Bifrost, and instructions of how to lay things out.

Which of course was different to how he'd planned it, but very well.

His old rooms felt very empty with only his bed and a few essentials still in them. Strange. Foreign. Like it wasn't really his home. Not that the new rooms felt like home either.

Maybe he'd lost his home as well as everything else he had known now the truth was out.

The day of the wedding loomed large towards him. He alternated between looking forward to it and utter, utter dread. He'd be glad to get it over with, but Loki was quite clearly not happy and making no attempt at hiding that.

Thor didn't want to start off their marriage on a bad note. They were going to have to get along. And if they were to have children some day then... Well, he hoped it would be through mutual desire and affection and not a clinical act of procreation.

It was obvious what he'd have to do once Loki arrived. Court him. Properly.

It would be easy, he told himself. After all, they would already be married. That ship would have sailed. Which meant no pressure, right? Just the freedom no really get to know one another.

Of course, thinking that was one thing. The reality would be very different.

Having a suitable outfit made - all silver and red, just a hint of blue - the nerves really began to set in. Loki's bed was coming tomorrow morning.

And in the afternoon, Loki would arrive himself.


	24. Chapter 24

The bed arrived with an air of finality. Loki's, from his room. Thor hadn't really seen it under all the piles of clothes. Maybe that was why it was last, maybe it had taken that long to uninterre.

Unusual for a Vanaheim design, which generally favoured leaves and flowers, it was decorated with carved interlacing snakes, green jewels set into their eyes. Beautiful. Not that there was time to admire it really. After all, there was a note on it.

_Thor,_

_In one of the trunks already sent, you will find golden linens from Alfheim, a wedding present from my parents. I would be grateful if we could use them._

_Loki_

At first, Thor was determined to put them on himself, though he soon realised he needed help from a passing maid. How spoiled he was, he felt, to have never had to do it for himself before.

They were beautiful sheets, though. So fine that they almost flowed through his hands like liquid, shiny and smooth.

The snake eyes were watching him now with yellow pupils. Untrusting. Like they'd come to life and attack him if he harmed their master in any way.

"I won't," he found himself muttering, smoothing down the pillows.

"My Lord?" the maid asked, nervous.

"Nothing," he said. "Just... You know. I won't forget how to do this in future. Thank you for your assistance."

She left him fussing over it, wondering whether to add a throw for extra warmth or not. It looked better without, aesthetically, but it looked cosier with it, more welcoming perhaps...

With or without, with or without?

"Thor," his mother's voice from the doorway. "You should get dressed. They'll be here soon."

It felt like a dream. Not a nice one, but not a nightmare necessarily either. One of those strange ones where familiar doors open into unfamiliar rooms and handsome outfits seem to slip on by their own agency, leaving you staring at your own body and wondering how that happened.

He was heading for the Bifrost, assuming that was where Loki would arrive, when his father met him.

"Great Hall," he said.

"What?"

"Smile, my son. It's your wedding day. Come."

"I don't get to... see him first?"

"Laufey doesn't see the point in wasting time. Never did."

He followed along to the main room of the palace, hearing the hubbub within and waiting for someone to finally tell him this was a big practical joke.

"Smile," Odin urged again, receiving Gugnir from a waiting courtier and waiting for the doors to open.

Thor thought of him raising that staff in anger against Hela, forcing her to stop her rampaging. Somehow it didn't seem like a sign of governance any more, but as a barely veiled threat.

People were cheering and Thor forced himself to smile and wave. He wished he'd worn Mjölnir. A little comfort. Still, he hadn't thought a weapon a particularly good choice of accessory for a peace wedding.

Silence fell, a real sense of anticipation. Thor wished more than ever that he'd had a rehearsal beyond being quizzed over dinner to check he knew exactly what he had to do.

Did Loki know what to do?

Probably. He'd probably been acting it out since he was a child.

The doors opened again. They were supposed to join hands and walk the length of the hall together. Thor felt his heart in his mouth right up until a cool hand slipped into his. He gave a light squeeze, hoping it felt reassuring and took the first step forward.

Just don't stumble. It's fine. Don't fall...

They knelt in perfect symmetry at the base of the dias, almost like they'd practised. At least it would look good for the crowd.

Thor distantly heard his father asking if they swore loyalty to one another, care, commitment. The right words kept coming out of his mouth somehow, Loki's too.

And then they were extending their wrists to be bound together. A symbol of their union. A band to keep on for the rest of the night or at least for the next hour. Some people claimed keeping it on brought good luck.

"You may kiss," Odin said, making it sound just as dry and dull as any obscure law.

For the first time, Thor dared to glance across at... at his husband. Those deep red eyes full of sadness, beautiful jewels in his hair and on his skin but a deep and obvious loss that made Thor's heart ache.

He cupped Loki's cheek with his untied hand, tilting it up slightly and leaning forward to press their lips together. Soft. Chaste. Very much just for the look of things.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as the hall echoed with cheers.


	25. Chapter 25

There were no Giants in the hall, Thor noted as Odin announced an hour's celebration in the palace grounds before the feasting proper would begin.

"Where are your parents?" he asked. "Your brothers?"

"They said goodbye to me before I left."

"They didn't want to celebrate?"

Loki sighed, shrugging. He seemed a little calmer now, out of the immediate pressure situation.

"They are busy. Preparing to send... something else."

Hela. Of course. It was going to be difficult to transport her so secretly. This was both a wedding and a distraction.

Thor's right hand was tied to Loki's left and he wasn't about to force him to move with him. He could handle it, accepting a tankard in his non-dominant hand when offered.

Loki looked into his drink doubtfully.

"This is... ale, is it?" he asked.

"Yes. Very refreshing. Have you not had it before?"

No response, just a tentative sip. And then a deeper draught. Thor did his best to smile at well-wishers while secretly wanting to run away and hide.

"We could... take a walk?" he suggested. "I feel nervous just standing here."

Loki seemed to have no objections. Or emotions at all. He barely acknowledged the people congratulating them as they made their way towards his mother's private garden.

At least it was quieter in here. They could hear the revelry still, music playing, laughter.

"They're very excited," Thor tried. "Father declared a two-day holiday."

"Hm."

Right. Very well. They could walk in silence for a while, their hands hanging loosely between them. It was a beautiful garden. Frigga had brought back plants from Vanaheim with her over the years and often took time to come out and cultivate them. She said it felt good to feel connected to her homeland in her new home.

He wondered if Loki might want something similar. What, he wasn't sure. They didn't really grow plants in Jotunheim. And, yes, he'd have opportunities to practise his magic and there was the library, but something specifically connected to his culture... That was something Thor would love to be able to give him.

Now was not the time to ask though.

"I hope you like our rooms," he said on their third circling of the central tree. "I did my best to follow your instructions."

"Could I have more ale, do you think?"

"Of... Of course. Whatever you like."

They met Frigga at the gate, looking for them to come inside for the feast. It would go on until dawn, though of course they would be expected to leave early for the... The wedding night.

Not that they'd be doing anything. Thor had no desire for perfunctory sex and he wanted it less and less as he watched Loki drink over dinner.

There were speeches from Odin. Thor was glad he wasn't called upon, barely listening, letting Loki use his left hand to cut up his food while awkwardly hacking through his own with a fork. He felt like a puppet with all his strings being pulled in different directions.

Frigga made polite conversation. And Loki would talk to her, short responses. Odin wasn't trying and Thor felt like a burden at best.

He had never given much thought to getting married, but he certainly never thought it would be like this. Not so sombre and awkward.

How many glasses of wine had Loki had now? His words were becoming a little clumsy, his cheeks flushed a dark blue that was almost purple.

He wasn't just tipsy. He was drunk.

Thor glanced at his mother, noting her worried expression.

"I think Prince Loki might be a little... tired," he said carefully. "I think we should go to bed."

He felt Loki tense beside him.

"To sleep," he insisted, helping him up.

There was cheering as people noticed them leaving and Thor burned with embarrassment. Loki was practically swaying as he ripped the wrist tie off so as to better be able to support his steps.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'm not going to do anything."

"Why not? S'our wedding night. Isn't that what has to happen?"

"You don't want to. I don't want to. So we won't. And besides, you're not in a fit state for anything right now."

They got most of the way to their new suite of rooms before Loki started weeping. Oh, dear. This was definitely not on the list of ideal wedding day experiences.

"You'll dehydrate yourself," Thor said gently, pushing the door open.

No answer. Just a small sob.

"I'll get you some water."

He deposited Loki on the bed, his skin contrasting with the sheets so beautifully, and went to fetch a large tankard. He'd need it.

At least the crying seemed to have subsided when he returned. He managed to convince Loki to drink at least a little, but felt it would be best to leave him be for a while. Take a little wander out onto the balcony.

The air was warm and full of the scent of cooking. People were celebrating outside. There were lanterns being released, orange glows in the city as night fell.

Everyone having a good time except the "happy" couple.

Thor slept on one of the couches. It felt more appropriate somehow.


	26. Chapter 26

A door opening behind him woke Thor up, stirring and groaning. The chaise had not been a good choice for his back in retrospect.

"Good morning," he tried.

Loki looked at him and then down at himself, seeming surprised that they were both still fully dressed.

"We..." he said in a hoarse voice. "We didn't..."

"No, we didn't."

"Shall we do it now, then?"

Thor sat up, stretching.

"No," he said. "No, I don't think so."

Was that relief in Loki's eyes? Or something else? Almost like offence...

"I... Um... I must admit, I thought you found me attractive. That night at home... That night in Jotunheim, I thought that if things had been different then maybe... And now things are different. We're married. I don't understand what the problem is."

Thor hesitated. This was dangerous ground.

"It's not that. I do think you are attractive, very much so. But I would rather not have sex out of duty, especially when I doubt you really want to. Or at least I doubt that you want to do it for the right reasons."

A beat and then Loki scoffed, folding his arms.

"What, you want me to fall in love with you first? This isn't a children's story, Thor. We're supposed to sleep together. We're supposed to have heirs. I want you to do it, get it over with."

 _Get it over with?_ No. No, he couldn't. Thor stood up, stretching, thinking about going to the training grounds to work himself over, get these twinges out of his back muscles.

"I'm not asking for love, just... Look, sex can be fun. I think we could have a lot of fun together. We should do it because we both want to enjoy ourselves, not because we think we have to. And certainly not only for procreation. I'm not ready for children. Humour me. Let's get to know each other a bit better first."

Loki sighed, rubbing at his forehead.

"I'm not an innocent," he said. "I do know how sex works. You don't need to woo me. I want to do it, I've waited long enough."

"And yet you got drunk last night, trying to numb yourself. Excuse me if I wasn't exactly flattered. Do you want breakfast?"

"No. Thank you. I don't take breakfast."

Thor groaned internally. He'd known that and forgotten it. This was not a good start. Loki sighed.

"If you're not going to fuck me, I'd like to bathe."

Thor showed him to the bathing room. It was nothing to the beauty of his old one, not really. A floor-standing tub, grey stone. Functional. But the water was warm at least, flowing from channels over the kitchen fires.

"I'm going to eat and train," Thor said slightly awkwardly. "I wondered if you'd like to unpack today. Get settled in."

Loki shrugged, examining Thor's soaps with a critical eye.

"Right," Thor said. "Then I'll see you later on."

He was nearly out of the room to change before Loki sighed.

"No goodbye kiss for your husband? Or am I not allowed even that?"

He was being deliberately troublesome. Well, fine. Thor could be troublesome too.

He strode across the room decisively, watching as Loki almost backed up, almost regretted needling him. As if he was going to do anything bad...

He reached out to cup Loki's face, tilting his chin up slightly, licking his lips before leaning in.

Loki made a slight gasping sound as he pressed their lips together properly, firmly, even daring to lick at his mouth a little, encouraging him to open up.

You want a kiss, I'll give you a kiss...

He was demanding, surging forward, feeling Loki melt against him. It was difficult not to grin when he broke away and Loki chased him. He ran his thumb over his lips, knowing it was patronising and charmless, but doing it anyway. He had a point to make.

"I'll see you later," he murmured. "Enjoy your bath."

A minor victory, but a victory nonetheless. Thor changed quickly, tying his hair back and summoning Mjölnir from where he'd left her, grabbing a quick bite to eat from the kitchens. He was impatient to be outside, to work out his frustrations about... Well, about everything, all of it. About the marriage, about this consummation obsession that Loki apparently had, about Hela's imminent arrival, about the fact none of Loki's family had come to support him.

It was good to sweat. To empty his mind for a while of everything but the ache of his muscles. Mjölnir seemed to sense his agitation, sparking every time he caught her.

In fact, were those clouds gathering overhead?

The rain began with a few small drops, but soon became a torrent, soaking him to the skin. It felt good though.

The weather had often matched his moods when he was younger, but it had been a long time since he last had an involuntary event like this. Which was surely just a sign of how aggravating Loki was being.

Still. He couldn't be doing this all the time.

Deep breaths. Calming down.

It stopped raining soon enough, though the clouds remained.

And maybe that's why his mother was waiting for him, arms folded.

"Not enjoying a wedding breakfast?" she asked.

"Loki doesn't eat breakfast."

She gave him a look, the one that told him he was not getting away with anything.

He sighed and huffed and shook his head.

"We've been pushed together without being asked," he said. "You must let us move at our own pace. I want him to be comfortable and that means giving him time alone."

"He is isolated here. Do not allow him to become lonely."

"I won't!"

A wise nod. She raised a hand to place on his shoulder, but then thought better of it, considering his current condition. He smiled, promising again that he would be mindful of Loki's state of mind and hurried off to bathe himself

Maybe he ought to have expected a blatant attempt at seduction, but he was still a little surprised to find Loki lounging on the couch completely nude.

The door closed behind him like a full stop, his hands going to his hips more out of shock than anything else.

"Are you too warm?" he asked.

Loki sighed.

"I knew it wouldn't be that easy," he said.

Thor averted his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Look, Loki, I'm sure eventually we will get to... this, but I need more time. And I need to be more sure that you really want to, not that you're acting out of obligation."

An unimpressed huff.

"They always told me you'd be insatiable. It's difficult not to feel rejected."

"It's not rejection. It's just... postponing. Look, I'm going to wash and then maybe we can organise the room together. Or I can show you the library. It's up to you."

He didn't wait for a response, just hoped that Loki would get dressed by the time he returned.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all you wanting some smut... Have a little bit, just to tide you over.

How many different soaps could one person use?! Thor gathered them up into a group, checking lids on jars, wiping up a little spillage.

Still, he supposed maintaining the shine on that hair might take more work than he expected.

The water was hot against his rain cooled skin, turning him pink immediately as he scrubbed at it, thinking about... everything.

This was really the situation they were in, was it? Each accusing the other of rejecting them, Thor feeling more physical attraction - or at least he thought so - but needing more than that, Loki just wanting to tick it off a list. It shouldn't be a box ticked, Thor thought. It shouldn't be rushed. He could and would wait until they'd got to understand each other more.

Even if taking the edge off did sound fun right now.

That was what he wanted. He wasn't asking for romance, just enjoyment. He could imagine few things worse than being on top of Loki as he lay limp and uninvolved, his head to the side, not enjoying himself. It made him feel sick, even. What was the point if it wasn't a good time for all parties?

Well... Children were the point, he supposed. But he was not ready for that. And besides, he didn't want his children growing up and realising they had been born of duty, not affection. What an awful thought. Even an accident due to one night's passion was better, far better, than there being nothing at all between one's parents, surely?

He might visit the healers, actually. There were preventatives, weren't there? Even if they did reach a point of mutual enthusiasm, he simply was not ready. He'd rather put children off for... Oh, a few centuries at least.

The worst thing was that he could imagine very vividly exactly how Loki might be in a real intimate situation. The real Loki, the one he'd glimpsed on Jotunheim who liked a little trouble and improvised complex magic without a thought. Cheeky and fun and so clever and Thor liked all those aspects of him.

It made this false temptation even worse in contrast.

His body wasn't overly fussed, of course. Though he was trying not to, his thoughts were inexorably drifting to the image of Loki nude and waiting for him. Lounging around, anticipating.

His cock stirred beneath the water. A slight stirring, but an itch that would annoy him if he didn't scratch it.

He sighed, letting his hand slip downwards. Just taking the edge off. Loki was his husband, surely he was allowed to fantasize about him. About how that scene could have gone differently if they'd had a better understanding.

He teased himself a little, thumbing over the head of his cock and imagining some other time, later, once they knew one another more. He'd go and train and return with his blood hot only to find Loki naked and waiting for him, imperious at having been left alone in bed even though he so hated being woken up before he was ready, parting his legs slowly and saying that he wasn't sure if Thor really deserved this after being so inattentive.

And he would kneel at the end of the chaise and ease Loki down it, hook those beautiful legs over his shoulder and show Loki just how _attentive_ he could be.

A firmer grip as the fantasy took hold, stroking hard as he imagined tasting the hidden flesh that he had only glimpsed so far, but this time it would be eager, evidently so.

And Loki would sigh happily above him, a glance upwards showing his head tipped back in ecstasy, greedily rolling his hips up and lacing his fingers into Thor's hair to control his movements.

"That's better," he'd say, the strain in his voice betraying how overcome he was. "Leaving without seeing to your husband... The gall, Tho- Ah!"

He'd be sensitive and Thor's laughter would ripple through him, making him cry out, thighs tensing...

Thor spilled into the water with a restrained sigh. And then almost immediate despondence as reality disappointingly crashed back into place.

He wanted that kind of playful, carefree sex. He wanted Loki to tell him what he wanted, to gently needle him and challenge him to slake his every desire. Especially if they came with no risk of pregnancy and he could happily enjoy without suspecting an ulterior motive.

He finished washing, heaving himself out of the bath and even giving the tub a quick clean. He was paranoid about accidents suddenly, even though he was fairly sure that the risk was minimal.

At least Loki had indeed put on some clothes and started filling shelves with books. That was surely a step in the right direction.

One step at a time.


	28. Chapter 28

"I was thinking about what you said," Loki observed as Thor obeyed his every direction to move the furniture around to better please him. "I think I would like to see the palace. The hospital. The library. Where Hela is."

Thor hesitated. He knew she was here. She had to be. And he suspected his father might be down there with her.

But he was nervous about seeing her, awake and alert. She would hate him, and he had already felt what her hatred felt like from Mjölnir. Having that turned upon him in person... It wasn't exactly appealing.

"I'm not sure if we'd be allowed in," he said carefully. "She's not well."

"I thought I'd made it fairly clear that I consider 'not allowed' to be fairly flexible where I'm concerned."

Thor could try to deny finding that charming, but it would be something of a lie. Still, this was serious.

"It's... It's different. She's a danger to herself and others, they say. I'd rather give her time to settle in before upsetting her."

Loki shrugged.

"You seem very keen on letting people settle in. We'll be responsible for her care eventually. I'd rather be prepared for that sooner than later."

"My mother is handling it, I believe. We can talk to her in time. Find out what the arrangements are."

That seemed to satisfy him at least. And he was very happy with the dressing room upon giving it a closer inspection to hang up his things. At least Thor felt like he'd done something right, for once.

Loki did seem to be taking the opportunity to critique his outfits though, clearly appraising them one by one.

"You have harvest festivals and the like, don't you?" he asked, apparently innocently, putting Thor on edge immediately.

"Yes. Why?"

"I think I shall enjoy a festival where I can draw the eye for something other than my height. We could dress to match. It will be romantic."

At least that seemed harmless enough. Maybe Loki was keen on fashion. It was good to have hobbies. And it would be nice to do something together.

And Loki loved the library, a smile on his face as Thor showed him round the shelves. It was different from his home, but more convenient in many ways. Small shelves, ladders to get to the higher ones with steps he could easily climb.

"When I was young, I spent a long time training in lifting spells," Loki said softly, falling into the peace of the room. "So I could carry books and scrolls back to my chambers without straining my arms. How do you manage with such small volumes and text? So densely packed onto the page..."

"You get used to it."

He knew where all his own interests could be found - the books on training and athletics, food and nutrition, the history of Asgard (though that wasn't appealing quite so much now he knew it had bits missing), obscure languages that Allspeak had difficulty with... But he had never realised just how many books they had on magic until he took Loki to the right section.

Of course, there were mages in Asgard. Mostly healers. They had physical medicine too, the ordinary herbs and bandaging, but children who showed particular magical tendencies often took up the profession. Magic tended to run in families. Medicine was practically a family trade now.

"Jotunheim must have a lot more information than we do," Thor said. "It's a more common talent there, I understand."

"Yes, but we haven't seen any of your books on the subject in a thousand years. I expect I shall know a lot of it from what I've read elsewhere, but there may yet be avenues I have not been down."

This was going so much better than yesterday. Where had that stress gone? Was it just the pressure of the actual wedding day that had upset them? Thor could practically feel himself relaxing, the tension draining from him.

Until Loki drew out a book on fertility, of course.

Hmm. Still couldn't quite let his guard down, then. This easy conversation was a means to an end for Loki. A way to get what he wanted.

Thor tried to push such thinking from his mind. It wasn't fair to ask for trust, friendship and intimacy only to then mistrust everything Loki said and did.

They needed to talk about it properly, but not yet. He didn't want to risk breaking the tentative peace they were forming this morning.

Or nearly this afternoon, come to think of it.

"Shall we take lunch?" he asked, trying to make it sound like a suggestion, not an order.

"Mm. Good idea. I do have a terrible habit of getting so engrossed in my reading that I forget to eat."

He put the book on the table between them, an obvious provocation.

Well, if he thought Thor was going to blink first, he ought to think again, really.


	29. Chapter 29

Their first night sharing a bed. As the day went on, showing Loki the training yard and the location of the infirmary but not the hospital proper or where he knew Hela was housed, Thor dreaded it more and more.

At least dinner with his mother wasn't a chore. It seemed Odin was busy somewhere, which Thor was very deliberately not thinking about or questioning. Much.

How had he grown up here and not learned more about conversation from his mother? She'd been a healer, yes, but a diplomat too. He'd never realised before how she seemed to be able to make anyone feel like they were the most important person in the world and that she would like nothing more than to listen to them talk.

It was a skill. It had to be. One he might find it useful to work on.

Or maybe it was easier for her to speak to Loki than it was for him since they had a lot of overlapping interests, especially magic. Loki confessed that most of what he knew was for show, light displays and little illusions and small tasks, but he had a strong interest in putting his skills to more practical use.

Thor nodded along. He didn't have much to add. His internal magic was strong but he had never studied it as such. Not the theory. Meanwhile, his mother had examined Mjölnir with something like reverence, awe-struck by such a powerful object. Odin said it had been his father's before it was Hela's, forged from a star, a rare item these days. To Thor, she felt special but also natural. He didn't need to understand how healing worked. His magic, powerful though it was, was hardly suitable for sickrooms.

"What do you think, Thor?" Frigga asked him, maybe sensing that his mind was elsewhere.

"Hmm? Oh... I think it's a very good idea. Healers are always vital and Loki's magic and skills are each very strong. I'm sure he'll be a great credit to the hospital."

He thought about how quickly Loki had put together the Elven ritual having only read about it in a book. With practical demonstrations, who knew what he could achieve?

Distantly, he was aware that he'd sounded like his old tutors giving an account of his academic prowess but, well, what else was he supposed to say? It was true.

Loki asked something about soul forges and Thor felt safe enough to let his mind wander off a little.

It would be good for Loki to have something to do. Occupation was important. Avoiding boredom and isolation...

But then he thought of Hela and how Loki might be using this as an excuse to find out exactly where and how she was being taken care of.

Then again, she was his sister. What was he so afraid of?

Being unable to keep avoiding her, he supposed. Having to face her, how angry and sad she would be to be locked up.

And speaking of avoiding...

They'd had something of a busy day. Thor was genuinely tired. The chaise did not exactly call out to him, his back likely to complain a bit more angrily if he tried.

And he didn't want to antagonise Loki by laying unnecessary ground rules or by being unnecessarily difficult...

He wore sleep clothes in his own bed for the first time in years, pulling all the ties tight. While he didn't think Loki would do anything without his permission, he also wasn't going to risk succumbing to temptation while half-awake. He wouldn't put anything past his treacherous body. Determination was all well and good but there was desire mixed in there as well.

The gold sheets were wondrous. Smooth and soft and cool. Wonderful.

He was deliberately not looking as Loki undressed, slipping into something that looked illegal in several realms. In theory, it was fabric that covered his entire body, but in practice it was so thin as to be practically transparent.

He fluffed up his pillows, sighing happily as he got into bed in a way that in any other situation would make Thor very interested indeed.

As it was, he blew out the candle and tried to keep a degree of space between them.

It was hard to sleep though. He was so tense. Like a plank of wood, his fists clenched.

Loki sighed again, frustrated this time.

"I can practically feel the worry rolling off you," he said. "Relax. I'm not going to do anything. You've made the situation quite clear."

Huh. Well.

"Thank you," Thor said, maybe letting a couple of muscles relax.

"Yes, you've made it extremely evident that I am the lesser partner in this marriage and that my sexual needs do not matter."

Thor huffed and scoffed and crossed his arms, scowling at the ceiling.

"That is not remotely what is happening and you know it. I want us both to be involved in that decision on an equal basis. Which is as it should be."

"Are you scared? Is that it? Have you not done it before?"

"Have you?"

"Not, but it's less important for me. Everyone knows the it's the penetrator's role to make their partner satisfied."

Thor winced slightly. What terminology...

"I have a little experience," he said. "But that's not the point. The point is that I am not ready yet. And needling me about it will only make me dig in my heels."

He rolled onto his side, his back to Loki, closing his eyes firmly. He was not going to let himself be provoked. It was irritating enough that Loki seemed to know exactly how to rile him up. It left him disadvantaged.

He could practically hear Loki wondering which hoops he was expected to jump through. And then planning how to bypass them. It made his skin itch.

Sleep. That was all he needed. Things tended to seem better in daylight.

He woke up first, finding one of his arms firmly in Loki's grasp. At least it seemed to be an unconscious gesture, cuddling in like this.

He really was very handsome. The dawn glimmers were shining on his face, picking out the elegant lines, the bridge of his nose, the soft curve of his lips.

This is my husband, Thor thought to himself, still having trouble believing it.

He made an attempt to move, Loki gripping him tighter and grinning, evidently awake.

"I'm going to eat breakfast," Thor said softly. "You can stay here if you want."

"Mm, I will. Just want a morning kiss."

Well... The one they'd had in the bathroom had been nice...

It was different this time. He wasn't trying to prove a point.

He let one hand stroke through Loki's hair, gently undoing a couple of tangles, while pressing their lips together softly. No demanding licks here. Something far more careful.

Loki smiled at him when they broke apart, eyes bright in the early sunshine.

"I like kissing you," he said softly.

No artifice?

No artifice, Thor decided, stroking his cheek with one thumb.

"I like kissing you too," he said, getting up and stretching to greet the day.

He was glad Loki didn't add anything else and just let him go in search of food.


	30. Chapter 30

Thor didn't always take breakfast with his parents, but they always welcomed him if he wanted to.

This morning, though, only his mother sat in their morning room, bright fruit juice sparkling in the sun, an array of wholesome foods spread out on the table. Once upon a time, it had all been eggs and meat, but she was trying to convince Odin of the benefits of taking a lighter meal earlier in the day.

Speaking of whom...

"Where's Father?"

A brief glance that said rather a lot. Tired eyes. Was everything alright?

"He got up some hours ago," she said softly, swirling her cup. "It's... It's your sister."

Thor's heart tensed.

"What about her?" he asked, trying to sound calm, slicing a piece of bread. "Is she very angry with him?"

"Almost the opposite problem. The sleeping spell the Jotuns used was very powerful. He's having a great deal of difficulty waking her up at all."

Thor frowned vaguely.

"Is it because it was a spell designed for a giant?" he asked.

"Maybe. They do use slightly different magical techniques than we do. And, of course, your father wants to do it all himself. Out of feeling culpable, I think. For letting her stay there so long all alone."

Thor felt a knot form in his gut, uncertainty and something like guilt.

"Maybe Loki could help. Since it's magic from his homeland. Maybe he'd be able to tell what the problem is."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to put that kind of pressure on him," Frigga said. "Not so soon after he's arrived. And besides, your father might not like it."

Hmm... Still, surely if Hela was awake, that would be the main thing.

"We wouldn't... have to tell Father," Thor said. "Just... give him a bit of assistance. He wouldn't have to know.

Frigga's slender eyebrows flew upwards, surprised at him. He refused to be cowed though. People who had lied to him all his life couldn't exactly be surprised if he had the occasional deceitful bone in his body.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," she said carefully. "And I think you'd live to regret it if you tried."

Maybe that was a fair point.

"Sort of on the same subject," he said, blushing hard. "Of... pressures and healing..."

"Yes?"

Oh, how to put this?

"Well... Loki is very keen on having children and I don't think we're ready and I was hoping you knew of something I could take to prevent it until we are."

If he said it all at once, in one breath, it would be out and over.

He watched his mother carefully put her cup down, resting her chin in her hand.

"I think this is a conversation you should be having with him, not with me."

"But that's just my point. We're not even ready for the conversation, let alone a child."

"Then don't have that conversation yet. Have a different conversation instead."

Thor frowned, swallowing.

"What do you mean?"

She pointed at him across the table with a buttery knife.

"Loki has spent his whole life with a specific role spelled out to him. Marry you, bear your children, unite the house of Odin with the house of Laufey. But, well, as you say, there's no need to rush. And he might find he has a passion for something else that could delay that destiny for a little while."

Thor thought about that discussion they'd had over dinner. Loki was very interested in healing, wasn't he? In using his magic for practical purposes. Maybe with the right encouragement...

It was certainly worth thinking about.

"However," Frigga said. "In answer to your other question, I might be able to help you. I assume you have not consummated yet?"

Thor's face was practically burning.

"Not ready," he mumbled.

"But in the future...?"

He nodded quickly, looking away. Of all the embarrassing things they'd had to discuss down the years, this was one of the worst.

"I like him very much. Just want to know him more."

"Good. A passionless marriage is not what I would wish for you. And I'm glad you are being so responsible too. Normally it's the woman who comes to sort this kind of thing out."

"Loki isn't a woman."

She nodded graciously at being reminded.

"Sorry. I do know that. But you know what I mean. It's normally the person who will be pregnant who has the most concerns about it. Understandably."

"So there is something I can do? Reversible, of course."

"Naturally. I'm not about to neuter you, darling. I am looking forward to being a grandmother, in time."

Oh, just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, she had to say something like that!

He didn't like being examined for medical matters at the best of times, and at least he didn't have to undress for this. He told himself it was better like this, having it be his mother advising him. He trusted her absolutely. His privacy would be assured.

Though, of course, she didn't have the necessary equipment in her private chambers. They'd have to go to the infirmary for it.

Thor hadn't been here in a while, not really inside. It had been some time since he was last ill enough to warrant it. Fell awkwardly in the training yard, needed his arm checked out. Even then, he'd never been allowed into the dispensary before.

Row upon row of bottles and packets, neatly labelled. Very organised.

"Where does it all come from?" he asked. "We surely don't buy it all in? I don't recall seeing it on the expenditures."

"We make most of them. Grow the plants, dry and prepare them or get the extracts. It's a highly skilled role."

She selected a bottle from a high shelf. One of only two of its type.

"It's not rare, is it, this medicine?"

"No. Just not particularly popular. We don't have much demand. And you only need a small amount to make the solution."

A few minutes later, he was drinking a strange, steaming concoction, a dark liquid with a slightly unsettling purple sheen to it. Oily almost.

It tasted absolutely vile.

"I don't have to drink this every day, do I?" Thor asked, grimacing.

"Fortunately no. It should last two years if not longer. It's very powerful."

"I should hope so with that flavour."

She distinctly laughed at him, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Why don't you go and find Loki?" she asked. "I feel I have barely seen him since the wedding. Dinner hardly counts. Maybe he'd like to see the healing rooms properly, with a guide. He certainly seemed very interested last night."

Good idea. And for one thing, it might help him discover something else he wanted to do besides procreating.


	31. Chapter 31

There was no sign of Loki in bed. The sheets were tangled in a heap and Thor took a moment to at least straighten them, even if he didn't make the bed properly.

He was probably bathing then.

Ought he knock and pop his head in anyway? They were married. And the tub would hide... everything that he might want to keep hidden.

It was just chance that he heard the sigh just as his hand was raised to knock. Not an exasperated sigh. No, no. Distinctly a pleasured one.

Ah. Well, then.

It would be terribly rude to interrupt. He might not be planning to do such things with Loki just yet, but he wasn't going to disrupt him seeking pleasure by himself. In fact, he was glad of it. Less frustration all round.

Wow, he was really going for it by the sounds of things. There was distinctly splashing and little gasps and even the occasional moan and...

And Thor very deliberately walked away from the door, out of earshot, willing that stirring in his loins to leave until a more opportune occasion.

Was Loki thinking of him?

Ugh, what a ridiculous thing to wonder. Of course he wasn't. If he was imagining something fun, something for his pleasure, he wouldn't be imagining the man he had to sleep with out of duty.

No doubt he was picturing someone totally different. A Giant maybe, for one thing.

Awkwardly, trying to pretend he hadn't heard anything at all, Thor found himself a book and sat down, staring at it without actually reading it.

His brain was too busy wondering if there'd be any sign of Loki's recent activities on his face when he emerged. A bloom of deeper purple on his cheeks, a little glow...

It was almost enough to make him wonder why he was quite so determined not to sleep with him. He wanted to and now with his mother's help, there was no risk...

No. He would do things properly. He was beginning to feel guilty already about having taken that step without consulting Loki about it. After all, it affected both of them.

A child would affect both of them in the much longer term, but maybe that was not the point.

The worst thing he could do now would be to let his body have sway over his brain. He had taken the potion for his own peace of mind; after all, fluids got everywhere. You heard stories, didn't you, of young maidens finding themselves with child accidentally when they had done nothing more than share a towel with their paramour? He was a walking risk factor, however small the risk might be.

Or maybe he was lying to himself and trying to make himself feel better about it.

No sex until they both wanted it for real, he swore to himself.

Somehow the guilt didn't go away. Not that he really expected it to.

He had read the same sentence over and over again when Loki emerged in a cloud of steam, letting out a little sound of surprise.

"My mother wondered if you might like to see inside the infirmary," Thor said. "She knows how it works better than I do. Unless you have something else in mind to do today. Please don't feel obliged."

"Er... Er, no, no other plans. I'll just dress."

As he headed for the wardrobe, a swirl of green left his hair dry and plaiting itself. Efficient.

Thor wanted to do that manually. Plait up his hair, stroke his fingers through it. He did his own often, after all.

It would be different to reaching behind his own head, but...

Wow, he really did have a strong hankering for intimacy all of a sudden. Maybe that tea had had some side effects.

It was different to see Loki in more Asgardian style. Trousers, a tunic. Sensible and practical. Thor hoped he had chosen to wear it because he really wanted to and that he didn't feel he had to change his style to fit in.

"Is your sister there?"

It was almost a shy question. Eyes away, unsure.

"No," Thor sighed. "No, I don't think they want to risk anyone seeing her. There's a private chamber and my father is seeing to her care at present."

"How is she?"

Ought he tell the truth? They were married. They had sworn to be honest with one another, even if he was not doing so well at present on that front. Besides, Loki might find out soon anyway.

"I'm not sure," he said truthfully. "The last I heard, he was struggling to wake her at all. But he is stubborn. He won't ask for help and will resent its offer."

"Well, you had to get that streak from someone..."

Thor wasn't quite sure how he felt about that appraisal.

"Mother thinks it may be the... the Jotun spell, that he doesn't know how to counter it. Perhaps you could give her some insights and then she could gently make some suggestions."

Loki shrugged, shaking his head.

"Unless I know what the problem is, I'm not sure how much help I can be. I'd need to see her."

That made sense. But Odin probably wouldn't like it much.

The thought kept rolling through his head as they made their way down to the hospital and met Frigga and Eir, the chief healer. There was a degree of curiosity from some of the patients. Loki did rather stand out.

"Are you visiting because we missed the wedding?" an older lady asked, eyes bright.

"Uh... Actually Prince Loki is a skilled healer and may choose to bring his skills to the hospital," Thor said, taking her hand gently.

"Oh, I won't be needing that. I'm just waiting on going home now. You've done well for yourself though, if you don't mind me saying so. He's a handsome one."

Thor did his best to simply smile and nod, mumbling agreement, but also mentioning that Loki was very clever and skilled. There was more to him than his appearance.

Hopefully it came across as being smitten and not mortified.

"I didn't know I appealed by Asgardian standards," Loki whispered as they made their way through the equipment rooms.

"Oh," Thor said. "No, you do. Very. Just you're... blue."

"Would you prefer it if I wasn't? It wouldn't be a difficult illusion to maintain."

Thor tried to imagine how different he would look. Would his eyes still be red? That might be a little odd. Besides, this was a more extreme version of the potential issue with the clothes, Loki offering to change himself unnecessarily. Thor felt very uneasy about it.

"No," he said. "No, I like you just as you are. However you are most comfortable."

Loki gave him a little half smile before examining the most recent soul forge designs.

Somewhere around the dispensary, he slid his hand into Thor's. It felt strangely right.

So much so that he felt able to ignore his mother's knowing gaze. He knew exactly what she was trying to tell him.

They needed to talk. And he wouldn't like it.

Maybe they could build a slightly more solid relationship before it was absolutely necessary.


	32. Chapter 32

A routine of sorts fell into place. Thor woke and kissed Loki good morning, took breakfast with his mother - and occasionally his father too - and trained a little before starting his duties for the day. He was taking on more responsibility for the day-to-day running of the realm while his father was occupied trying to wake Hela.

He clearly wasn't making much progress. On the occasions that he actually came to dinner, he was visibly tired and stressed. And it had been weeks now. He needed help, evidently.

Every time Thor tried to suggest gently that maybe someone else ought to try, he was met with forceful reassurance that the would be resolved any day now.

Frigga clearly didn't have complete faith in this opinion and nor did Loki. They were working together in the infirmary, combining their magical knowledge to suggest new treatments and solutions to ongoing problems. And Loki seemed to enjoy it. He always had a new story to recount in the evening, a new breakthrough or a new surprise. Thor was glad of it, glad to see him so passionate.

All the same, he did keep thinking about his mother's garden. Her own little sanctuary. The hospital was still a place of work; he wanted to ensure Loki had somewhere to relax and unwind too.

Maybe it wasn't a surprise that Odin fell into his sleep a little earlier than expected. He'd been exhausting himself day after day.

"What happens now?" Loki asked the morning it happened, getting dressed after his bath.

Thor was very carefully not looking at the drips of water still clinging to his skin. They had grown comfortable with each other over the month they'd been married. In small ways, of course. Held hands when they walked anywhere together, easy touches at mealtimes. Even cuddles in the night, sometimes.

Still no sex, though. Thor felt like he was almost ready. He was just waiting for the opportune moment to actually talk to Loki about the future of their marriage and how he didn't want to rush into children and how there would be time for that later.

Every time he tried to bring it up, though, Loki changed the subject. And Thor wasn't sure if that was because he feared something, some change in their relationship, or because he was worried about spoiling the good atmosphere between them with an argument.

Thor felt much the same. For all that somehow whenever he tried to imagine the conversation in his head it ended with them agreeing and tumbling into bed together, he also couldn't shake the feeling that they might equally as easily end up having their first real, proper row.

Especially when he mentioned how he had already taken precautions... Loki would be rightfully angry. He was dreading that.

Wait, what had that question been again?

"Well, my mother and I are technically joint regents and in charge," he said. "But I'll be doing most of the court work, I suppose. She's a bit busy. As you know."

"I meant with Hela," Loki said quietly.

Hmm. Yes, there was that.

"You're in charge, are you?" Loki said, turning his back to pull on a shirt. "Then surely we could just go and see her. Have a look at what the issue is."

He had a point. Perhaps it would help. And it wasn't like Odin could stop them.

Wake Hela, or learn how to do it. He'd be thrilled, probably.

"Mother tends to... sit with Father on the first evening after he falls into his sleep," he said thoughtfully. "Making sure nothing is wrong."

"And we could sneak down..."

Oh, this seemed like dangerous ground, but otherwise what could he do? Just let Hela stay asleep? Let Odin pine the rest of his days for the daughter he'd lost to his own faults and negligence?

Surely just investigating could do no harm. It was just a second opinion. Just getting an idea of what was wrong and what might help.

The idea bubbled beneath his skin all day, signing orders and reports, all the things he'd been doing a few days ago but now with proper authority. No more putting things into a waiting pile for Odin to deal with.

Maybe it was even better this way. A smooth transition. He'd already been doing this work for a few weeks. Sometimes he could even forget that his father lay asleep elsewhere, pooled in gold as his strength replenished.

That would be him one day, resting off the draining effect the realm had. They called the connection between ruler and land the Odinforce now, but it would be his, in time. Thorforce. A link to all in the realm and to the very planet's magical core that gave strength but took its toll as well.

Would Loki come and hold his hand and stroke his forehead when he slept as his mother did with his father? He wasn't sure. Maybe he would.

That was a long way off though.

Still, conspiring together over dinner, Thor could imagine being a united team. They were a team even now, perhaps. Or he'd think so when he finally managed to make a confession...

"We'll just have a look at her," he said. "Just an examination so you can... advise. I don't think we should wake her without Father being there."

"I think you're right. She might be disoriented for one thing and we're strangers to her. But just in case... I think you should take Mjölnir. Just in case."

Thor wasn't exactly filled with confidence by that, but Loki was right. If they accidentally woke her, she might be angry. They might have to... restrain her again.

Which didn't sound fun at all and rather put him off his dinner.

He led Loki to the hidden rooms, the horrible waves of the powerful spells bound into the walls hitting them, setting their teeth on edge.

Of course, Thor wasn't expecting to be scuppered from the outside by the door being locked.

"Can you try from out here?"

"Maybe. I'll try."

Loki sat down and closed his eyes, resting his hands against the heavy wooden door.

Thor was used to seeing Loki's magic at work, a faint green glow or a bright burst.

He'd never really felt it before. But he could feel this, feel the effort of this. Loki fighting against both his mother and father's concealment spells, the ones that made the rest of the palace not notice this room.

It seemed to be something like a trance. Loki's breathing became very slow. Flickering eyelids, like he was dreaming.

Thor almost yelled in shock when his hand was suddenly snatched out of the air.

"Sit," Loki said, his voice strained. "Follow me."

Follow him? Where were they going?

Thor sat, confused, closing his eyes. But then he felt it, like a tugging in his chest. A string trying to pull him forward.

He let go...

And suddenly he wasn't in the corridor any more.


	33. Chapter 33

It was dark in here. Very dark.

"Loki?"

What had happened to his voice? He could feel it, but he couldn't hear it. Or rather... he couldn't hear it the way he exacted it to.

And his hand... He could feel Loki's grasp of him, as strong and as real as anything in the world, but there was something else too, like he had a different pair of hands which were not attached...

It was certainly one of the strangest sensations he had ever felt.

A witch light glowed into life, Loki's face looming out of the darkness. Much too far away to be touching him and yet he could feel it, he was sure he could.

"We're projecting," Loki said.

Or did he? His mouth moved but the words seemed to arrive in Thor's brain from the side, not in front. He wasn't sure he'd actively heard him as such.

"What..." he tried. "What's happening?"

"Keep your voice down. You're still speaking out of your solid body's mouth. I'm sitting right next to you. You don't have to shout."

Speaking from his real mouth, hearing through his real ears, feeling with his real hands... But seeing something else.

"It's a form of illusion magic," Loki said, waving a hand vaguely. "Don't think too hard about it."

He turned, sending his light up towards the roof space, and Thor got his first look at his sister since her return.

She looked peaceful. No more chains here. She was lying on her back as though she'd been carefully put to bed. Instead of the scraggly hair he'd glimpsed in the Jotun prison, she had a beautiful, shining black halo lying across the pillow. Like it had been carefully washed and brushed out.

Had his father done that?

Though he loved and respected Odin, the fact remained that they did not have a particularly close relationship. They did not confide in one another or even touch beyond the occasional hand on a shoulder.

Trying to imagine him gently combing Hela's hair... It made his heart ache. Even after all she'd done, he loved her still. Always would. His daughter.

It was comforting to feel such unconditional love existed for him too perhaps. Not that he was planning to follow in Hela's footsteps.

"Can you affect the magic?" he asked. "Can you tell what's keeping her asleep?"

"Not while I'm projecting us. I just wanted you to see that she seems comfortable. Hopefully I won't be long."

He pushed the air with one hand and Thor had the oddest sensation yet, feeling himself move without conscious thought, floating, passing back through the wall and opening his eyes with a gasp. His real eyes, back in his real body.

Loki was still clutching his hand and Thor was happy enough to hold on, peaceful out here, night falling outside and making shadows grow deeper.

He found himself strangely interested in Loki's fingernails. How dark they were. Perfectly shaped too - and Thor had stumbled upon the tools he used to achieve that in the bathroom, looking like instruments of torture. Still, he admired them. And it was a rare thing to be able to observe without being mutually watched.

Heimdall announced his arrival with a cough, startling Thor out of his reverence.

"What are you doing, my prince?"

It was difficult not to seem incredibly guilty, letting go of Loki's hand and leaping to his feet.

"Father's been so stressed," he said, trying to keep his voice steady beneath Heimdall's impassive gaze. "We thought if Loki could only take a look, maybe he could uncover what the problem is, have some advice for when the Odinsleep passes..."

A look that suggested he didn't believe a word of that.

And then Heimdall's gaze slipped downwards, frowning, looking at Thor's belt where Mjölnir had started to vibrate faintly.

"That's... That's not my doing," Thor said, seizing the handle just as she swung wildly towards the door.

Loki gasped, rolling his head upwards, coming back to his body.

"Duck!" Thor yelled.

Mjölnir slammed into the wood, still vibrating, dragging Thor along with her.

But feeling so unhappy. She didn't want to go back to Hela. She wanted to stay with him.

Loki scrambled back, panting, eyes wide.

"What did you do?" Thor demanded.

"I was just pressing the spell to test it! I didn't expect it to actually give way!"

"Is she angry?"

"She's calling the hammer, isn't she?"

Mjölnir couldn't break down the door, too well reinforced. And had no more momentum, it seemed, as she slid to the floor with a ringing thud. Safe. Maybe.

There was a loud knocking from the other side, fear rolling down Thor's spine.

"I'll fetch your mother, shall I?" Heimdall asked.


	34. Chapter 34

Mjölnir might have thudded to the floor, but Thor wasn't about to try picking her up just yet. He hadn't thought Hela would be able to use magic, but maybe Mjölnir was different somehow. Loki got to his feet, standing by Thor's side, looking decidedly concerned.

"Your father must have been taking layers off the spell. I swear, I just wanted to test it, but it's like tugging a loose thread, it just unraveled..."

Another loud knock made them both jump. And then another and another until it was a constant thumping.

Well, they couldn't just hide out here from her...

Thor stepped up to the door, clearing his throat.

"Hela? Calm down. Please."

The banging stopped. And then a voice, croaky and dry.

"Who are you?"

It might have been a pleasant tone at another time. Dulled by lack of use. Scratchy and a little harsh.

"It's... It's Thor. My name is Thor."

A long, long pause. Like she was confused.

"The only Thor I know is a screaming baby, over whom the whole realm have inexplicably lost their minds."

Oh... Oh, she didn't know. She didn't realise how long she'd been asleep. Did she even know she'd been held on Jotunheim at all?

He was definitely out of his depth here. He shouldn't be the one telling her what had happened. Father ought to be here doing it. He was practically a stranger.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Where is my father?"

Answering questions with other questions, it seemed. Then again, no wonder she was concerned. Oh, they should never have done this. Thor felt sick.

"He has fallen into the Odinsleep," he said, seeing no reason to lie.

"Ah. I see. Has he left any instructions for the campaign?"

Thor winced, closing his eyes. This was going to hurt.

"We haven't been at war for a thousand years," he said. "I'm... I'm sorry but you've missed a lot."

Loki turned, rushing to meet Frigga as she arrived, clearly whispering what had happened. Thor looked over his shoulder. His mother was dressed for bed, loose gown and hair, soft indoor shoes. The last thing she needed was this kind of trouble when Odin had just fallen asleep. 

"You'll have to help me if it comes down to it," she murmured to Loki. "She might be distressed. She might need to be restrained."

"What are you going to do?" Thor whispered, finding himself gently pushed aside as his mother reached into a pocket and produced a key.

It was certainly not a normal lock. It hissed and steamed, glowing yellow with his mother's power, swinging inwards to the room.

Hela was wearing her blanket like a cape, looking somehow unnatural in a white nightdress, eyes wild and confused. She took a step towards the open door, hand up and coming into contact with a magic shield, sparking beneath her fingertips, holding her in.

Confusion gradually fell away from her face, a look of defiant annoyance replacing it, jutting out her chin.

"You look old," she said.

Frigga sighed.

"I would have preferred to do this at a more convenient time," she said. "But I suppose it can't be helped. I'm afraid you've been held prisoner, in suspended sleep, for quite a while. A lot has changed."

"Here?"

"No. In Jotunheim. You have only recently returned."

Blinking was the only indication that she'd heard, her gaze falling on Thor where he stood by, feeling awkward and like he was trespassing. He shouldn't be there.

"Is that really him?" she asked. "The golden baby?"

"It's Thor, yes."

"Huh. And what's _that?"_

One overlong fingernail jabbed the air accusingly in Loki's direction and Thor found himself instantly wrapping an arm around his waist protectively.

"This is Prince Loki of Jotunheim," he said coldly. "My husband."

She stared at him in horror.

"You don't mean to say you're actually breeding with it? My, my. Things have gone awry since I've been gone, haven't they? If you're telling me the truth, that is."

A squeeze of Loki's hip, trying to be comforting.

"I'll ask you to be polite to my spouse, sister. A lot has changed. For the better."

Frigga had folded her arms, looking so, so tired.

"Perhaps it would be best if you and Loki retired for the night," she said meaningfully. "You've done quite enough this evening."

Even though it sounded very much like they were in trouble, Thor was glad to be dismissed, keen to run away from this awkward scene.

Reflexively, he summoned Mjölnir, hearing Hela's indignant cry a moment too late.

"That's my hammer!"

He seized the handle hard, holding her in place as Hela strained. She was yet weak, it seemed, for she gave up easily, watching with fury in her eyes as he placed Mjölnir against the door frame. She wouldn't be able to summon her through the reinforced wood.

"Goodnight," he offered, turning and giving Loki his arm as they departed, partly for the look of it and partly because he wanted to.

Once they were safely out of sight, Loki leant against him heavily, letting out a long exhale, like he was deflating.

"Thank you," he said softly.

"What for?"

"For... standing up for me."

Thor was a little surprised. Why wouldn't he stand up for him?

"Of course," he said. "Of course I'll stand for you. You're my husband and I... I do care about you. She has no right to talk of you like that."

That felt like more of a confession than he'd meant for it to be.

They reached their rooms, Loki flopping into one of his couches as Thor began to make one of his special teas. The purple one. It seemed to be a calming blend, Loki's usual choice when there were particularly troublesome patients or problems in the hospital.

He accepted it gratefully, moving over to let Thor sit next to him. It seemed right to hold him, a gentle arm around his shoulder.

"I really didn't mean to wake her," Loki said quietly. "I was just... I don't know. Seeing how big the problem was. But then she opened her eyes and sensed me, and there was such hatred there. I thought... I really thought she might kill me somehow. Or at least try."

Thor didn't know what to say to that, settling on just taking his free hand, squeezing gently.

Loki stared straight ahead, bringing his cup to his lips and swallowing quickly.

"I had the strangest thought, you know," he said. "In the split second when I thought it might be the end of me."

"What thought?"

"I felt... I felt sorry for myself. Because I'd be dying without... Without ever having been fully intimate with someone. With you."

That hadn't been what Thor expected, a little chuckle escaping reflexively.

"I mean, much as I'd like to flatter myself, I doubt the experience is to die for."

Loki looked at him very seriously, those red eyes so deep, so full of worry and just a little hope.

"Will you let me find out?" he murmured. "No tricks. No traps. I just... I just want to. With you. Because I care about you as well."

They ought to talk more, Thor felt. He ought to confess that he'd taken precautions for one thing.

"Loki, I need to... to talk to you about children first..."

"No, don't worry about that. It's not a risk right now."

What did that mean? Did he have a fertility cycle of some kind? Was that what he was saying?

Thor knew he should be fully open. He should tell the truth.

"Please," Loki said. "I just want to be close to you."

But being looked at like that, open and vulnerable, after the shock they'd just had... This wasn't duty, it was desire, it was want, a need for comfort and closeness.

He offered Loki his hand again.

"Come on."


	35. Chapter 35

No gold sheets. They were off being very carefully laundered, treated very gently. Thor's dark grey linens weren't quite the same, but Loki was striking regardless of what surface he was lying on.

Kissing first. They knew this. This was safe, even if this was a little more charged than usual.

Thor was trying to let Loki lead, let him go at his own pace, but it seemed he was a little nervous. Maybe he didn't quite know what he wanted. Or didn't know how to ask for it.

Slow, then. Proceeding with caution. Giving him plenty of time to change his mind.

At least the clothes Loki was wearing were familiar to him. He wouldn't have been sure how to handle the traditional Jotun robes, but he knew this, pulling Loki's tunic off over his head.

It wasn't like he hadn't seen Loki naked before, but it had often been fleeting, deliberately turning his eyes away. And he'd never been this close before, lying on the bed together. It was strange to feel the warmth of his skin, a fact that still surprised Thor, given his heritage.

This was enough for now, he thought, daring to touch, letting his hands run over Loki's chest and stomach, round to his back to pull him closer, pressing kisses to his neck.

His ears were filled with the delicious sound of Loki's breathing, quick and shallow, feeling it against his body even. Scared or excited? Maybe a bit of both, but hopefully more of the latter.

"Alright?" he whispered against Loki's ear.

"Mm..."

"Talk to me."

"Take off your shirt."

Well, that was probably fair. Thor found himself being well and truly explored, letting Loki touch him with curious hands, enjoying the frissons of pleasure that came from fingers against nipples, the slight grazing of nails.

Somehow one of his thighs had ended up between Loki's, a distinct amount of grinding happening, an unmistakable air of want surrounding them. Thor was dizzy with it. This was what he wanted. No big heavy reasons for enjoying themselves like this, just desire.

"Off," Loki was saying with his lips somewhere around his chest, hands tugging at his trousers. "These, get them off..."

Well, alright. It meant moving apart by a few centimetres, but then Thor was ripping open his lacings, shoving his clothes down until he was completely bare to Loki's gaze.

It was difficult to resist flexing a little, those red eyes running over his body, drinking it in and definitely staring at his cock.

"Will it hurt?"

That was one of the worst questions he could have asked, and yet not at the same time. Thor half sat up, cupping Loki's cheek, trying to make his voice sound serious despite the lust racing through his veins.

"I hope not," he said. "And if it does or if you want to stop then I want you to tell me. Are you sure you're ready? We can stop at any time."

He wasn't expecting to be shoved onto his back, the air rushing from his lungs in a happy grunt.

"Yes, I'm fucking sure," Loki growled, tearing at his own clothes, freeing his erection, a distinct hint of arousal filling the air.

Right, fine, good, but let's not rush...

Thor helped him out of his clothes with some difficulty, giving his cock a cursory stroke, grinning when Loki's breath stuttered into a moan.

He really was beautiful like this, the lines and angles of his body, more solid than some of his previous bedfellows, but no less enticing.

"Like this?" he asked, not really managing to express himself well, though Loki understood.

"Yes. I think I like being on top."

Oh, didn't he just? Still, Thor wanted to be sure...

He snaked one arm around Loki's thigh, slipping a finger into his slit, so warm and wet as he dared to add a little pressure.

"Have you used your fingers before?"

"Yes. But I don't want fingers, I want..."

He shuffled back, down over Thor's thighs, eyeing his cock critically. Thor moaned as he touched it, being gentle but also a little shy, biting his lip as though steeling himself for this.

"Go slow," Thor said. "Go at your own pace."

Of course, that was easier to say than to bear as Loki lined him up and began to lower himself, slipping and failing, visibly frustrated.

"I can't... It won't go in..."

Thor sat up, catching him in his arms, growling teasingly against his ear in an attempt to keep the mood going.

"Then I haven't been an attentive husband. Let me help."

Loki was clearly embarrassed as Thor laid him on his back, kissing his way down his body and settling between his thighs.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to use my mouth."

"To do what?"

Thor looked up at him, surprised. Could he not guess?

"To make you feel good."

He'd have to do well, impress. But then again, he intended to.

Loki let out a confused sound as he ran his tongue over his flesh, right to the base of his cock. It was a good confused though. An intrigued confused.

It was a little difficult. He really wanted to pay attention to Loki's cunt particularly, since it was fairly evident that Loki would not be satisfied unless they finally consummated things properly, but his cock was right there, bobbing in his eyeline, begging for open-mouthed kisses and little kitten licks.

Loki was breathing heavily when he began but was soon gasping. Thor alternated using the flat of his tongue with more pointed licks, hoping enthusiasm would make up for any clumsiness.

Still, this was meant to be slightly preparatory...

One finger easily slipped into Loki's body, getting a pleased hum, especially when he started moving it. So far, so good.

Another, then. This was a little more similar to his cock, girth-wise, Thor daring to separate them a little, a tiny amount of stretching.

"Want to give it another try?"

"Your fingers feel good."

It was almost a whisper. Like he was embarrassed to admit it.

"Do they?" Thor said, punctuating it with a pulse of his wrist. "I'm glad. I want to please you."

He was beginning to suspect that Loki had not assumed his pleasure would be much of a concern when they had sex. 

How nice to prove him wrong.


	36. Chapter 36

There was distinctly challenge in Loki's eyes as he straddled Thor once more, his hair mussed from writhing against the sheets. He was going to do this, even if it took all night.

Confident though, too. Maybe that little extra attention had helped him relax, removed a little tension.

And feeling the head of his cock slip in...

Thor moaned. Couldn't help it. The rush or sensation was incredible, his hands tight at Loki's hips to remind himself to be gentle and not hurry him along before he was ready.

Besides, if he could just get his eyes open, he'd be treated to Loki's facial expression, the high eyebrows, like he didn't believe his body could really do this, could really yield like this.

His thighs were so strong, but trembled now, holding his body up and then beginning to lower himself down, gasping for breath, mouth wide in surprise. Could he feel where Thor was supporting his weight or was he even too far gone for that?

It took a lot of deep breathing and the occasional hum of pleasure before Loki was fully seated, resting his whole weight on Thor, whose hands seemed so pink stroking that azure skin.

"Alright?"

"Mm... Just... Just strange. I feel like... I don't know."

His body was clenching and Thor could hear his own breathing, heavy and thick almost, his pulse echoing in his ears.

"Don't move until you're ready," he managed to say, trying to be comforting as he ran his thumbs back and forth on warm skin.

It wasn't too long before Loki tried an experimental roll of his hips, sighing happily. He was proud of himself, Thor realised. Smug, almost.

There'd be time for surprising him later. Thor had never been the more experienced partner in a tryst before. He felt a great deal of responsibility to make things as perfect as he possibly could.

At least, that was his last conscious thought before Loki bounced slightly and yelped like he'd just stubbed his toe.

"Hey, careful..."

"But I _want..."_

"I know you do, but it is your first time. We can... advance to that kind of thing later."

A pout, a more gentle roll, within his limits this time. Diplomacy. Make him feel better.

Thor let his hand drift to Loki's cock, running his fingertips through the hair around it, teasing just a little. He'd always found that a pleasant sensation, like a rush of tiny caresses.

And then he let his thumb move onto the shaft itself, the underside, the smallest of stroking motions.

"Think of your magic, Loki. Were you always able to do the things you do now?"

A pleasured sigh, arching forward into the touch.

"You weren't," Thor answered for him. "You had to start small and then develop. This is much the same. Do not push your body into too much too soon. Give yourself time to learn."

"Mm... And you intend to be my teacher?"

"No," Thor moaned as Loki performed a particularly interesting swivel. "No, I intend for us to learn together."

That seemed to pass muster. Loki grinned down at him, grabbing his wrist to make him stroke his cock properly.

"I like that," he said.

Thor wasn't sure if he meant the touch or the idea. Maybe both.

Gentle was not dull. Thor let Loki set his own speed, a slowly increasing rhythm, riding him as deftly as if he was one of those large deer from his homeland. And when Thor added some of his own strength to it, pressing upwards, he was treated to the sweetest of cries, to gasps and writhing.

Still, good things could not last forever. Soon Loki's motions were growing uneven, chasing, Thor doing his best to keep up the intensity of his hand's action. He'd make Loki spill. It would be wonderful.

He wasn't prepared for just how wonderful though. The clenching, the twitching of his body as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through him, the telltale rush of fluid over his hand and stomach.

Thor wasn't finished himself, but that was alright.

Or so he thought.

"You aren't done," Loki murmured, hauling his body into motion again, oversensitive and almost shivering.

"No, no," Thor said gently. "It's fine."

"But I want to..."

"Use your hand?"

A look of annoyance, but Loki obediently dismounted and sat back on his heels, wrapping his hand around Thor's cock without hesitation.

Oh, he was good at this. Thor moaned openly, enjoying the unusual sensation of someone else touching him, and already so close that he wasn't going to take long.

Definitely not with the speed Loki was going at.

"That's nice," he managed to say. "Yeah, that's... Oh! Oh, Loki..."

At least being vocal in his pleasure seemed to have smoothed a few ruffled feathers when he climaxed and pulled Loki into a sticky embrace, ready for kisses.

"Was that alright?" he asked.

"It was a start. And now I want to sleep and not worry about anything until I have to."

It was getting late. Still, the reality of Hela being awake and angry and confused lay heavily on his heart and no doubt on Loki's too, especially since he was the one to accidentally wake her.

Hopefully his rest was peaceful as he drifted off against Thor's chest.


	37. Chapter 37

Thor woke in a sweaty, tangled mess. Maybe he ought to have cleaned up last night...

Loki looked good like this though. Nude and sprawled out on his stomach of top of the covers. Decadent. If he was feeling bolder, Thor might have groped at the curve of his behind a little. It certainly was very tempting.

Almost more tempting than getting clean. Almost.

A groan as he started to move.

"I'm going to run a bath."

"Mmm..."

"Does that mean you'd like to join me?"

"Mmhm."

Thor chuckled and went to get things started. Warm water. Sweet oils, bringing all Loki's soaps and potions within reach.

"It's ready," he called.

"Carry me," Loki called back.

He shouldn't find that as charming as he did. Still, they'd taken a big step last night and it had been good for both of them. He could offer a little indulgence.

It wasn't easy to pick up someone so tall, but Thor managed it, assisted by Loki's arms looped around his neck.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good. Just lazy."

Thor hummed, giving him a soft kiss before depositing him next to the bath to climb in at his own pace.

The water was wonderful, hot and steaming. Like a temperate spring almost, if they smelled of citrus and mint.

Loki sighed as he got in, lowering his body slowly, eyes closed. Relaxed, or so Thor thought.

"You didn't spill inside me," he murmured. "Last night, you didn't..."

That was not a conversation he was expecting to have just yet.

"I was concentrating on making you feel good. I spilled quickly enough afterwards though. It isn't a reflection of... Of anything."

Loki smiled, eyes still shut.

"I just wondered if... If you didn't want to in case I became pregnant, even though I told you there's no risk."

This was the perfect opening. He could and should tell the truth. He owed it to his husband. But that didn't make it any easier really.

"I, er... I actually took some precautions a few weeks ago. A preventative."

Those large, red eyes finally looked at him, frowning. Oh, no. Oh, no, this was bad. He was going to be furious.

"You took... Without telling me?"

Thor couldn't meet his gaze, horribly caught.

"I'm sorry, I just... It seemed like the right thing to do because I am not ready and... I'm so sorry. I should have spoken to you before now."

There was a long pause, the water gently lapping at their skin. And then Loki cleared his throat.

"I have also taken some precautions," he said. "That's what I meant. You're right, we don't need to rush into anything. Besides, I want to settle into my life here and my role in the hospital first. I've never had a chance to do such useful things before."

So they'd both... They'd each decided individually...

Thor let out a relieved sigh.

"I feared you would be very angry with me," he said.

Loki shrugged, reaching for his soap.

"Oh, I am. I'm furious. But we can talk about it later. And I'm sure you'll make it up to me."

That sounded fun. Thor crossed the distance between them, feeling around under the water only to be playfully slapped away.

"Later," Loki insisted. "We've been neglecting our duties much too long. For a start, we should find out how much damage we caused last night."

Ah. Yes.

"I expect you went to your mother for medical advice?" Loki asked - or stated really - as they dried off and got dressed. "It's just that I did too. I wonder how long she's been laughing at us."

If she had been, she certainly was not laughing now.

Gone was her usual sweet and nourishing juice in favour of something that seemed decidedly more potent and though she tried to smile when she saw that both Thor and Loki were joining her for breakfast, but there was no disguising the shadows around her eyes.

If only Odin could sleep for both of them.

Thor's heart ached.

"I'm sorry," he said. "We were trying to help."

"I know. And you have. It's just complicated."

"How complicated?" Thor asked, just as Loki said, "Complicated, how?"

She glanced between them briefly and for a moment Thor was certain that somehow she knew what had happened last night, like she could sense something had changed.

"She's just about accepted that she's on Asgard," Frigga said. "But she's convinced herself of all sorts of other lies. She's confused. Disoriented. Reaching for outlandish explanations. Among other things, she thinks I am holding your father hostage, that I'm in league with the Jotuns to cause Asgard's downfall, that the war ended only a few years ago and that you are an imposter I have employed to pretend to be baby Thor. Or she thinks you are my younger lover trying to usurp the throne. She seemed unable to decide. It was very complicated reasoning."

Oh, dear. That did sound like trouble.

"I must be able to prove my identity to her somehow," Thor said. "What about Mjölnir? I can lift her. Surely that gives some evidence of my standing?"

Frigga shook her head.

"She thinks Mjölnir is a fake. It's very difficult to convince people that they are wrong at the best of times. We need your father. We don't have him. So we'll just have to stall things until he wakes."

Thor didn't like the sound of that. Waiting for things to just happen made him nervous.

"I'd like to see her, if I may," he said. "Maybe talking to me properly would help. If I saw her alone."

Both his mother and husband reacted to that with a little surprise, moving back from the table, Loki putting down his teacup with a harsh clink.

"Alone," he said evenly. "And what if you need help?"

Thor tried his best to be reasonable.

"She reacted very badly to you," he said. "And that was stressful for all of us. I am currently joint-regent, I should see my sister and explain."

"You mean that you're regent and your word is final," Loki said, standing up. "Forgive me, All Mother, but I truly cannot face food at this hour. I think I shall get some fresh air. Excuse me."

He left, somehow managing to make his Asgardian ware billow despite a relative lack of fabric.

Thor sighed, munching angrily on delicately sliced apple.

"You should go after him," Frigga said. "I know what you were trying to say, but you could explain it further."

"You didn't tell me you'd helped Loki with contraception," Thor said, maybe a little rudely.

"No, I didn't. It's a private medical matter. I didn't tell him that you had also taken steps in that direction. It wasn't my right. As your mother, it is entirely in my right, however, to recommend that you give chase and discuss things properly, as adults."

She was right, of course.

Which almost made the indignity worse when Thor had to swallow his pride along with his apple and hurry out into the gardens.


	38. Chapter 38

"Loki! Loki!"

Well, at least he wasn't trying to hide. He'd sat himself down on the very first bench he'd come to in the garden and was sitting with his arms folded and his nose in the air, the very picture of fury.

Thor tried to soften his tone.

"Darling..."

"Don't 'darling' me, Thor. You need me there with you and you know it. What if she tries to hurt you?"

"I'll try not to let her. But she was so awful to you last night. I don't want you to have to face that again."

"They are my feelings, not yours. Let me decide if I can handle having them hurt. Unless, of course, you're embarrassed by me."

Was this a trap? It felt like a trap. Like he was about to make a carefully calculated step only to find that his ankle was caught in a noose that he had heretofore not seen and then he'd be upside down before he could blink.

"Of course I'm not! You are wonderful, which is why it pains me so to hear her say such awful things about you."

"Oh, so it's _your_ feelings that were really being hurt when she treated me like an unthinking beast? Oh, Thor, I'm so sorry. Let me kiss it better..."

He was so aggravating sometimes, his tone so cutting. Thor took a deep lungful of cool morning air, trying to stay calm.

"I need to speak with her," he said. "And I do not want to give her any sticks to beat me with."

"A stick, am I? Goodness me, even worse than an animal."

Thor let out something dangerously close to a growl, unable to stop himself.

"You are twisting my words! I do not want to see you putting up with her language, I do not want to hear it myself and I want to keep things civil and calm but I fear she will do her very best make this impossible and doubly so if she sees you."

Loki had stood up, moving close, eyes firey.

And then he placed the smallest kiss on Thor's lips.

"Then we'll just have to make sure that she doesn't see me," he said.

A frown from Thor, confused. Hadn't they just been fighting?

"You can make yourself invisible?"

"No," Loki said, a green light enveloping him from head to foot and leaving in his place a rotund einharjar, blonde and bearded, different from Loki in nearly every way.

Except the eyes. No red colour, but their blue sparkled with his spirit unmistakably.

"Not invisible," and it was very, very strange to hear Loki's voice from another face. "But I can disguise myself as your personal guard if you'll let me."

He changed back as easily as changing his coat.

"Please let me?"

Thor hesitated for a moment. It seemed risky. But then again, seeing Hela at all was risky. Having Loki by his side was a good idea, probably.

He sighed, taking Loki's hand, running his thumb over his knuckles.

"Alright. But you mustn't show any emotion, no matter what she says."

Loki promised him that would be easy. And then kissed him properly.

Mmm... Oh, he'd have to build up an immunity to this. Couldn't be so easily led by his husband all the time.

Still, they needed a plan. They needed to know what to talk to Hela about.

"You need to convince her that you are who you say you are," Loki said. "Which will be a lot easier said than done."

"Surely there's a test we can do. Something in the blood to show we are both Odin's children."

"She'll claim the test was falsified. And you can't rely on knowing things about the royal family either, she'll say that Frigga just told them to you."

Huh.

"Any ideas?" Thor asked. "Maybe some books or other signs that the years have passed and I am who I claim? But she'll probably say they're all fabrications too..."

"Maybe we need a different approach. Maybe we need to make her come to trust you. Then she might be more reasonable."

Thor wasn't totally convinced. Then again it was the best solution presenting itself, if only by way of being the only solution.

"Right," he said. "Get her to trust me. How hard can it be? Just undo centuries of paranoia..."

Loki laughed slightly. You had to, Thor supposed.

"Take her a gift," Loki suggested. "A book, maybe? Food? I don't know what she likes besides..."

"Besides war and killing people."

"You said it, not me."

Hmm... What could he take along that wouldn't be dangerous in even the most inventive hands? Nothing that required cutlery, that was for sure.

Frozen sugar grapes. They'd been his favourite as a child. Sweet and refreshing.

Loki insisted on carrying them as they made their way to Hela's suite, transforming himself so as to be unrecognisable. There was Mjölnir, sitting morosely by the door. Thor couldn't risk moving her though. If Hela managed to summon her from any distance, she'd knock through anything less solid than a wall to get there. Windows, furniture, _people..._

He knocked first. It was only polite.

"Hela? May I come in? It's Thor."

"You might as well."

It wasn't a shout, and yet it seemed very loud. Thor drew the key out of his pocket, but couldn't make it turn until Loki pulsed a little magic into it.

Hela looked much more like he expected her to now. She was dressed for one thing, all in black, her hair tidier, though still overlong. She was very thin though, unhealthily so. Or maybe it was because her muscles had withered from underuse.

She tool one look at them and laughed.

"You really think me a fool," she said. "Don't you?"


	39. Chapter 39

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Thor said evenly, heading for the chairs at her table. "I have merely come to visit my sister."

A derisive huff.

"You are not my brother. You're a liar. You all are."

That didn't seem worthy of a response.

"I've brought you some sugar grapes," Thor said.

Hela plucked one out of the bowl in Loki's hands.

"Trying to poison me?"

"Why would I do that?"

"To prevent me escaping and showing the truth of your usurping me to the world."

Thor scoffed. That didn't even make sense.

"It was my husband who woke you," he said. "If I wanted you dead, why would I bother waiting until you were awake?"

"Your so-called husband," she said, dismissing his question without a thought, pacing the cell. "I'm not sure you're truly wed. I'm not sure it would be allowed. They are hardly equal to us. It's like marrying a horse."

It took almost all the self-control Thor possessed not to look at Loki. This was exactly what he had been afraid of.

"The Jotuns are a fascinating and noble people," he said. "And Loki is highly intelligent and skilled. He's an asset to the palace to say the least."

"A bitch sent to whelp a litter of half-breeds."

Stay calm. She was trying to provoke him. He wouldn't rise to it.

"Our children will be the rulers of Asgard," he said calmly. "They are the future."

She paused, looking at him, lips pursed.

"Hm. Or I could send these conveniently solid grapes through his womb and out the other side to put a stop to that."

She raised a hand, eyes going tight with effort as she managed to make the fruit levitate. When she hurled them in Loki's direction, they bounced harmlessly off him, scattering onto the floor like beads from a broken necklace.

Loki changed back into himself, magically cleaning them up with no apparent effort. The blocking on magic was tailored to Hela alone. Frigga didn't want to risk being unable to restrain her by relying on physical measures.

"Impressive," he said. "The dampening spells should have prevented that. I'll inform the All Mother that you are stronger than anticipated."

"How did you know it was him?" Thor asked.

She folded her arms, embarrassed maybe at how powerless she was, sitting on the end of her bed.

"These rooms are clearly hidden," she said. "Therefore, you would not bring a guard in here however well trusted. Too much risk of the secret getting out. Besides, he looked smug when you were praising him. Got you wrapped around his cunt, doesn't he?"

Thor did not consider himself easily shocked, but the sheer viciousness here was almost more than he could bear.

Calming breaths.

"He is my husband, future Prince Consort. I would be grateful if you would keep a civil tongue."

"Why should I? I've been locked up like a rabid dog. I'll behave however I choose."

Hmm. Well.

Thor stood up. He was wasting his time, it seemed.

Besides, she had made an attempt to harm Loki, really harm him. It had rattled him more than he wanted to show. No weakness.

"Then we shall leave you," he said. "And assume you are not yet bored to death of your own company."

He held the door open for Loki, taking the bowl of grapes with him. It wouldn't do for her to keep it, smash it and potentially hurt herself.

Only in the corridor outside did he let the mask of calm slip and lean against the wall, sighing heavily.

"I don't know what to do," he said. "Surely she can't keep this up forever."

Loki laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Go to council, as usual" he said. "And I'll go to the library. See if I can find any advice up there. She's ill, after all."

So clever and practical. Thor hoped his gratitude was evident in his kiss.

And that he'd find something. Anything.


	40. Chapter 40

How was he supposed to act as though everything was normal when nothing was ever going to be normal again?

Hela, awake. Loki and him consummated. The question of his contraceptive efforts not really resolved, but going in the right direction, perhaps.

It was difficult to try to make himself think about crop yields and education syllabi with any degree of sense.

He was glad when the evening finally rolled around and he was able to escape for dinner.

Frigga had her hands clasped anxiously on the table when he arrived, her lips thin.

"Did you have any luck with Hela?" she asked.

"No," Thor sighed. "She was... violent. Rude. Coarse. The latter two I wouldn't mind so much, but it's the sheer level of venom. She really hates us. She reminds me of... I don't know why, but like a nervous horse. Frightened and striking out. And I'm scared someone could get seriously hurt."

It wasn't the best of metaphors. It was going to take more than apples to win her trust for one thing.

"Loki planned to do some research," Thor said. "But he gets distracted when he's engrossed. I'll find him."

"No need," Loki said from the doorway, a pile of books floating beside him. "My stomach is speaking louder than my mind for once."

He took his usual chair, a large chunk of library coming to rest on the floor beside him with a gentle thud.

"Are those all relevant?" Thor asked.

"Not sure yet. They seem potentially helpful, that's the most I can say for them."

That didn't exactly fill Thor with hope. And worst of all, he was beginning to wonder if Hela's illness was merely exacerbating something which had always been beneath the surface.

"What if she's just... a bad person?" he found himself asking.

A slightly awkward silence fell, everyone looking at their plates before Frigga cleared her throat.

"It would take a lot to undo," she said. "Your father... He isn't always the best at showing affection. And so I believe when she was growing up, Hela learned quickly that she could get attention from being... violent and good at war."

That explained some of it, he supposed.

"Why did you lie about her? Why did I grow up thinking she was so perfect?"

"That she was dead," Loki added.

A long sigh. But Loki was right, there were a lot of questions in Thor's mind. Things that he had rather put aside as he dealt with the shock of being married so suddenly.

"You knew she'd be back once we were wed," he said. "So why not just tell me the truth?"

"Your father would rather not have her remembered badly. It's difficult."

"He just doesn't want to face the truth more like," Thor said. "That he could have prevented it."

"Hindsight is a gift. The war did not end well for any of us. The people needed something for morale. A folk hero. A princess who fell for them."

Thor despondently helped himself to some salad, trying to keep accusatory tones out of his voice.

"I'm just saying, it doesn't seem to have been particularly well thought through."

"Well, when you have to deal with a problem like Hela, you can show me how to handle it."

This was unhelpful. They were all tired and stressed. Liable to say things they didn't mean.

"How long does the Odinsleep usually last?" Loki asked.

"A week. Sometimes two."

"So we won't be alone for too long with any luck."

Thor huffed before he could stop himself.

"I doubt he'll be much help. He doesn't have a good record where Hela is concerned."

Frigga put down her cutlery with a sharp clatter.

"That is unfair. You think you've grown up some in the last thousand years and your father hasn't changed at all? People grow. They learn. Even fathers. He's changed since she last saw him. Which I suppose should give us all hope for Hela's future. She might be angry now, and she may always be ill, but there is potential for growth."

That was a fair point. All the same, Thor wasn't completely convinced that Odin had changed so very much. He mused as much to Loki once they were alone once more, taking a night cap.

"You seem to have a family habit of making decisions first and thinking about them later," Loki said, swirling his glass.

That seemed ominous. And Thor thought he knew what he was getting at.

"I took the decision I did about protection because I was worried," he said. "Even though we weren't... doing anything, I was worried about... accidents. Besides, you took precautions too."

"Yes, but if I hadn't, you would have made a big decision without consulting me. There are two of us in this marriage, you know."

"Yes, and I am not ready for children. If one isn't ready, surely that means we're both not ready. If it were the other way round and I was pushing you into it..."

"A different situation. I'm the one who will carry and birth any children. It's not the same."

He was right and Thor knew it, and though he couldn't pretend to regret making the decision he did, he did regret having been secretive about it.

Well, let it never be said that Thor Odinson couldn't swallow his pride...

He knelt down in front of where Loki had chosen to sit, taking his hand and bringing it to his lips.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I shouldn't have done it. Please, let me work to do better."

He could only describe Loki's smile as indulgent. He wasn't fully won round, but he was charmed.

"Well, being on your knees is a good start," he said.


	41. Chapter 41

A certain degree of relief had grown in the marital household. Or maybe that was Thor's imagination now his great secret was off his chest and he was more or less forgiven.

Certainly if the easy way Loki cuddled in for kisses as they went to bed was anything to go by, he was well on the way to it.

He couldn't sleep though. Loki drifted off against his chest, lulled by having his hair stroked. It really was beautiful hair. Soft and wavy.

Apparently Thor was feeling more sentimental than usual, pressing a kiss to Loki's scalp before slipping out of bed, going to the window for some fresh air.

It was a clear night, a cool breeze making the curtains flutter slightly. The stars were twinkling, the neighbouring nebulae a beautiful pale blue at this time of year. They called Asgard the golden realm, but from the inside it was blue and green and purple too.

Hela might never see these stars again. His heart ached to think on it. For one thing, it would mean he had failed to save her.

He just wanted to make things better. And he didn't know how to do it.

It was a strange, unfamiliar emotion to have. Helplessness. Uncertainty. He was used to always having at least some idea of what to do next. Action and activity suited him.

Hela had liked action too. It was strange that it was her words that were her weapons now. He hated the way she'd spoken about Loki. Yes, he hadn't made the decision to marry him, but he was turning out to be exactly the kind of person he would have chosen. Clever. Resourceful. And, yes, mischievous and proud, but in a charming way.

Hearing her reduce him to just his ability to bear the future heirs of Asgard... It sat ill with him.

Then again, she'd been actively trying to hurt him. Hurt them, since she'd clearly realised Loki was there right from the beginning.

And she'd tried to hurt him physically too. Even something that should be harmless had turned into something dangerous in her hands. It was only the walls repressing their magic that had prevented her from causing Loki real harm.

Underestimating her would not be a wise move, evidently.

There was a confused noise behind him. Loki stirring.

"Thor?"

"I'm here."

A soft sigh. Stretching out. Arching his back.

"Can't sleep?"

"Mm. Thinking too much."

An extended arm. Reaching out to him.

"Come here then. I might be able to help you stop thinking."

"You don't have to..."

"Hush. For one thing, I don't intend to do any work here."

Even in the dim light, Thor could see him grinning, his teeth shining. Playing. Teasing.

"Oh, I see," Thor said, turning fully back around. "What did you have in mind?"

"You tell me. You're the experienced one after all."

Comparatively speaking, perhaps he was. Well, then. A chance to really apologise.

Thor began by gently removing the blanket. Loki was in his usual sleepwear, the one that covered everything and yet left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

He folded it upwards neatly, Loki pushing his behind off the mattress to let it be tucked under his back.

"You don't want it all the way off?" he asked.

"Can't have you catching cold," Thor said.

"I am a Frost Giant, you know. We're quite good at cold."

"Alright, then..."

He hauled Loki upright and bared him fully, letting him settle back down among the pillows, all soft and long and beautiful, and looking very pleased with himself.

Thor ran a hand up Loki's ribs, feeling him breathing, bringing a thumb to his nipple and getting a gasp. And wasn't that interesting?

"It's different when someone else touches you, isn't it?" he asked, gently running his fingernail around a quickly stiffening bud.

"How are you doing that?"

"I'm just taking advantage of your body's natural sensitivity."

He lowered his head to the neglected nipple and wrapped his lips around it, laving it with his tongue. And Loki moaned openly, one hand flying to Thor's head as though to hold him in place. His fingers grew tight in his hair, almost pulling, like he didn't know whether to push him closer or shove him away, almost yelping when Thor squeezed his other bud gently, just when he'd almost forgotten about it.

Daring to let his hand move downwards, Thor's wrist brushed a thickening cock above his real target, seeing how affecting his efforts had been so far.

Well, Loki was certainly spreading his legs eagerly enough. Thor knew he couldn't manage anything energetic though...

His fingers found wetness and heat, Loki sighing happily.

"You're not sore from yesterday?" Thor murmured.

"No. You were very gentle. If you're asking if I can take you again... Yes. I want to. It was... very nice."

Still so embarrassed at putting words to his pleasure.

"I'm going to be gentle still, don't worry," Thor said, moving to the side to shed his sleeping clothes.

He could feel the heat of Loki's body as he gently rolled him and settled in behind.

"What are you doing?" Loki asked mildly.

"Easier to stroke your cock from this angle," Thor said, running a hand down his side and carefully easing his thigh upwards.

It took a few attempts to line up properly, but he was soon sliding inside, Loki moaning, his body tensing slightly.

"Can't believe I can take it," he mumbled. "Mmm, so full..."

Thor felt himself twitch at that. He was a simple creature in a lot of ways, he figured. A little bit of praise for his cock pleased him no end.

"Does it feel good?" he asked, wrapping his arm around Loki's chest to pull himself close, aligned completely.

"Yes."

"Tell me."

He was thrusting, but extremely gently, little pulses. From here, he could kiss Loki's neck, taste his heartbeat.

"There's something nice inside... A pleasantness of the pressure... I don't know, it just feels good. And I want more, faster, but I don't know if I can handle it yet..."

"We'll build up to that, if that's what you want."

"It is. But this is nice, I like this."

Mmm... One day, maybe. For now, the roughest Thor got was nibbling at Loki's earlobe as he stroked his cock, letting waves of pleasure roll through them both, feeling Loki's body clenching and his heavy breathing.

Thor spilled inside him this time since that had seemed to be a sore point.

And Loki was right. He did feel better.

Especially falling asleep with Loki in his arms, warm and sated and safe.


	42. Chapter 42

Thor woke alone. Had he overslept? This wasn't usual...

No, it wasn't nearly bright enough outside yet.

Loki appeared in the doorway, his hair piled upon his head and wearing a long robe, a book tucked under his arm.

"I had an idea," he said when he realised Thor's eyes were open and looking at him curiously. "About what we discussed last night."

Thor was not nearly awake enough for such talk. What had they been discussing? Well, lots of things.

"Your father wasn't very good at making Hela feel like she was... Well, not that she was loved, but maybe that she was appreciated, let's say. Now, that's got nothing to do with her illness. That's to do with parenting. So I went to the library and got this."

He slipped back into bed and laid the book on top of the covers.

" _Your Firstborn and You: Practical Parenting Advice,_ " Thor read. "She's not a child!"

"No, but it might still help. And besides, when we decide to have our own children, we'll have already had a little experience."

Hmm... Maybe he did have a bit of a point on that front.

"What does it say, then?"

He let his eyes fall shut as Loki began reading. It felt very early. Or maybe he was just tired from staying up later than normal with worries and then with more pleasant activities.

"Well, it talks about the importance of holding infants and talking in soothing voices to help them feel loved and safe. I'm not sure Hela would appreciate that too much."

"Mm. I think she'd try to remove an internal organ or two if anyone tried to touch her too much."

Loki chuckled lightly and turned a few pages.

"This is a note on setting firm boundaries. That might be useful... Oh, no, this says you should designate a place for children to reflect on bad deeds and calm down. She rather lives in one of those."

Thor was not convinced Loki would find much of use. These were rules for very small children, not grown adults. He didn't think Hela would put up with any attempts to infantalise her.

"Is there anything on communication?" he asked. "How to encourage mutual respect?"

The sound of pages turning. Quite a lot of pages, it seemed. Skipping through childhood to adolescence, perhaps.

And then silence with Loki letting out the occasional hum.

"What? What does it say?"

"I don't think you'll like it much."

Thor shoved himself upright, looking over Loki's shoulder.

_Rebellion and testing of boundaries is fairly normal in young people. However, if you are having real problems, perhaps it would help to examine your own behaviour too. Does your child feel able to come to you with concerns or problems? Do they feel heard when you do talk? Can they trust you and do they know they can?_

Ah. This was essentially saying that Odin had been a poor parent. That he hadn't made sure Hela felt listened to, and that had made her overly self-reliant which had meant there was no one helping to counter the toxic narrative of her own mind.

She needed more support. She needed to feel like she was heard.

There might be something in that after all.

"So what it's saying is that I should let her insult me and you and Mother and so on..."

"Maybe if she realises that that won't work, that she won't get the reaction she wants, then she'll stop," Loki said.

Maybe.

"Alright," Thor said, stretching properly. "But I must insist on going alone this time. She tried to hurt you. I can't risk that."

Frosty didn't even begin to describe Loki's reaction.

"So it's perfectly alright if you get hurt? Despite all your duties?"

"I... I just think that it might help to keep her calm and therefore not violent if we met on a one-on-one basis. Besides, she's my sister and so far I've only dealt with her as part of a group. I fear she feels... overwhelmed. I'd prefer a calmer environment, that's all."

Loki did not seem fully convinced. He'd folded his arms, all haughty and cross.

"If that was really your reason, you wouldn't have mentioned worrying about me first. I don't like being coddled like that."

"Sorry. Both reasons are real, but of course you and your safety are at the forefront of my mind. That's why it came out first."

Was that a little softening of the ice? He wasn't sure. And he wasn't going to push his luck. Time to be candid and honest.

"I'm not trying to shut you out. I truly think this is the best chance of keeping her calm and making progress. I don't feel comfortable with just shutting her away for her whole life and not even trying to help her. It's wrong. And I won't give up until I've tried everything I can."

Now, _that_ was a softening. Maybe not wholly on board, but Loki was certainly moving that way.

He knelt up, reaching for Thor's hand.

"Alright," he said. "But you must tell me exactly what happens when you talk with her. You have to let me help."

"Of course," Thor said, kissing his knuckles gently. "As if I could do this without you."


	43. Chapter 43

Hela's door seemed to be growing more and more ominous the more Thor looked at it.

Loki insisted on sitting outside the room, which didn't cause Thor any objections. He was more troubled by having his pockets emptied.

"She can turn anything into a weapon," Loki said, even taking Thor's belt from him just in case.

"I doubt even she'd manage to make a handkerchief dangerous."

"What if she gagged you with it and you were unable to call out for help?"

Hands gently on his shoulder and a soft kiss. It was harmless to let him fuss.

"I'll be fine."

Loki nodded distractedly and used his power to unlock the door. Thor walked in alone, his hands up in placating fashion.

Hela was picking at her table with a fingernail. Trying to draw, maybe? Just that bored?

Maybe she'd be keener to talk, in that case.

"I'd like to apologise," Thor said, pitching his voice low and sitting in the empty chair.

Hela didn't even look up.

"What for?"

"I should not have tried to deceive you yesterday. I shouldn't have tried to hide Loki's presence. I'm sorry."

"Hm. But you're going to lie to me again. I know it."

"No," Thor said evenly. "I am going to tell the truth. Just because you don't believe something doesn't necessarily make it false. But I swear I shall be honest with you."

He tried to gauge her expression. It was difficult. Her hair had fallen forward, hiding her. But maybe that would make her feel safer.

"You can ask me anything you want," he said when the silence had gone on too long for his liking.

"Why have the Jotuns sent me back now?" she asked. "Why after all this time?"

Ah...

"It was agreed in the final peace treaty. You were to remain on Jotunheim until I was wed to Loki, the third prince."

A glance upwards, the hint of a frown.

"You... You did that for me?"

Well, he'd done it to maintain peace, but he supposed he'd also been thinking of her at the time.

"Among other reasons, yes."

She looked away again.

"Have you fucked him yet?"

Thor worked on keeping his breathing steady. Don't give her the reaction she wanted. Don't rise to it.

"I'd rather keep my personal life personal."

"That means yes. If you hadn't, you'd just say no. Do you know why he's so small? Did they shrink him for you specially?"

She was teasing him. She knew they hadn't. Still, he'd show some good faith. Pretend she might not know.

"He was born that way. It's a rare but known condition."

"And how long did you know you'd be married before it happened?"

"Not very long. I admit, it was a surprise. Loki knew far longer than I did."

A pause, only interrupted by the constant scraping of her nail against the table top.

"Forgive me if I'm not exactly grateful," she said eventually. "You've brought me home to live in a cage and in return you get a whore who has known his whole life that his purpose is to take your cock at any time you ask. It seems to me that I have not done particularly well out of this arrangement."

Thor had felt himself flush, bright red. That wasn't how it was, that wasn't true...

"I've been fortunate enough to be wed to an intelligent and resourceful person, one I can imagine growing into a mutually supportive relationship with."

"Easy on the eyes too, though. For a Jotun. If you can get over the initial disgust."

This wasn't a path Thor wanted to go down.

"Do you know why you're here?" he asked instead.

"Why are any of us here? Who can guess at the mysteries of the universe?"

An internal groan.

"Do you know why you're in this room?" Thor tried again.

Silence. Which either meant she didn't or that she did and didn't want to say.

"You murdered innocent people. Do you remember?"

"We were at war."

"No, not that. The Jotun civilians in the mountains. You killed them. Do you remember? And Father came to stop you?"

He could see her blinking, long lashes flickering.

"That... Yes. That was a bit of a surprise."

Thor was rather nonplussed by that. Confused.

"You were surprised that he stopped you killing civilians?"

"I thought he'd be pleased. There's no such thing as a civilian in the time of war."

"But you weren't at war! The peace talks were ongoing! And besides, slaughtering innocent people, torturing them, that is not war. That is not..."

She laughed, tipping her head back.

"You're so naive. You really think Father has never hurt a non-combatant?"

Thor didn't even want to respond to that. Innocent people died in wars, he wasn't so unaware as to not know that, but there was a difference between bystanders caught in the crossfire and deliberately seeking them out.

There was a difference. He had to believe that.

"Why did you do it?" he found himself asking. "Why did you want the war to continue so badly?"

This seemed to be a more painful point. She finally stopped scratching at the table for one thing.

"I don't think I want to talk to you anymore today."

At least that was a civil way of asking him to leave. At least she hadn't tried to strike out at him.

"Is there anything you'd like to have?" he asked, standing up. "I can't make any guarantees, but..."

"A plant," Hela said instantly. "There's no nature in here. I feel like I can't breathe."

That seemed harmless enough.

"I'll do my best," he said, opening the door and stepping out.


	44. Chapter 44

Of course furnishing Hela with a plant was much more difficult than Thor expected. Loki went into something of a frenzy over it for one thing.

"A plant?" he said at dinner when Thor asked his mother for advice. "You promised her a plant?"

"I didn't promise anything, but I think it would help develop a little trust between us if I could get her one. Something of her own to take care of, make her cell more friendly. It's worth a try, surely."

Frigga looked a little intrigued. Then again, she came from a culture where plants were far more revered and where gardens were considered almost sacred places. She knew that draw to cultivate and to take care of something green.

"You'll have to choose it carefully," she said.

"It's just a plant," Thor said, shrugging. "What damage could it do really?"

"It might be poisonous," Loki pointed out. "Or have thorns. She could take your eye out with that. Or what if it's wooden and she manages to craft a stake from it? What kind of container would you use? Surely not glass or ceramic - she could smash them and make blades from the shards..."

Hmm. Maybe he did have a point.

"How is she being fed?" Thor found himself asking. "Surely no servants are allowed in."

"Heimdall set up the system," Frigga said. "There is a sort of dumbwaiter where food can be sent to him from the kitchen without the cooks knowing where exactly it goes."

"And she doesn't smash the plates or glassware?"

"No, the food is placed on different crockery, made from strengthened pewter. She hasn't the physical force to break them."

"Well, there we are," Thor said. "We can use that, a bowl as a pot."

Loki still didn't seem sure. He was scared of her, and with good reason perhaps, but Thor wasn't about to give up. This was another chance to show his sister good faith. To kindle a little trust.

After dinner, they took a walk in the gardens - once Loki had retrieved an encyclopedia of poisonous flowers from their rooms, of course - to look at some likely candidates in the fading dusk.

It would have to be hardy to survive inside, for all Hela's room had lights that mimicked sunshine. Hard to kill. It would be discouraging otherwise, if it died.

"Should it be... pretty, do you think?" Thor wondered out loud. "Or is that insulting? Maybe lush would be a better term."

"I might know just the thing," Frigga said, beckoning them away from the flowerbeds.

A fern. A bright green one, all curled leaves. It smelled good. Fresh, somehow. Like just breathing near it was nourishing.

Even Loki couldn't find an objection to the soft stems, conjuring light for him as he carefully dug a piece up for potting.

"If I keep visiting her, I think maybe she'll become more open," Thor said aloud as they took it inside. "This morning I asked why she'd been so keen to carry on the war and she closed off completely."

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" Loki said. "She couldn't bear the defeat. It was humiliating."

"I feel like there was something else though. Something we don't know about. Not that she's likely to tell me just yet. Needs more time."

He wasn't the most natural of horticulturalists, patting down what little of the soil he could reach once it was in its new home, watering it in. Still, it had got him thinking again.

"My mother keeps a garden of her own."

"Yes, I know."

"It's... It's a little piece of Vanaheim, although she lives here now. I wondered if you... might like something to be a little piece of Jotunheim."

Loki seemed confused.

"We don't grow very much, mostly stuff in caves..."

"I don't necessarily mean plants. You know... Anything. Something of your old home in your new home."

It was difficult to gauge how successful he was being at expressing himself.

"I don't really miss it," Loki said, shrugging. "Besides, I can summon a bit of home whenever I like."

Thor glanced at him, hoping for more clarity, but found him looking a little wistful, gazing out of the window. Maybe missing old, familiar stars far away more than he'd realised he did.

They put the plant near the door of their bedroom for the night. Getting it used to being inside.

"What did you mean, you can summon Jotunheim?" Thor asked in the darkness.

"Don't be suspicious. It's nothing."

"I'm not suspicious, I'm just curious."

A sigh and then the smallest of lights, not enough to make their eyes sting. And then Loki did something odd with his hands, conjuring something between them. Ice?

He twisted it into a spiral, beautiful but fleeting., putting it into a cup by the side of the bed to melt.

"See?" he said. "Jotunheim, at my fingertips."

Thor had only seen pictures of weapons brought from mid air before. Nothing pretty and delicate like that.

"Beautiful," he said.

Loki gave him the smallest of smiles before vanishing his light.

"I'm sorry if I worry too much about you," he murmured. "Hela was always the monster under the bed. I'm scared of her still."

That seemed fair enough, but all the same...

"She's my sister. I have to try to reach out to her, to try to understand. Wouldn't you do the same if it was Helblindi or Byleister?"

Loki ran his fingers aimlessly up and down Thor's forearm where it lay across his chest.

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe. Maybe not. It would depend. But I do know I think well of you for trying."

"Ah. Then I know I must be doing the right thing."


	45. Chapter 45

Hela looked at the fern with an inscrutable expression. Did she like it? Did she not like it?

Thor felt like a child trying to make a new friend, shuffling his feet awkwardly as she brought it to her nose, inhaling deeply.

"Do you like it?" he asked, unable to hold back.

"It's a plant, just as I asked for. The real question is what you want in return."

Well, that was disarming. He watched her take the pewter bowl to her table, placing it carefully in the centre. It did brighten things up a little. Made the place a little less sterile.

"Your thanks would be enough."

She looked up at him sharply and smiled. Or rather, the corner of her mouth stretched out to the sides of her face.

"Thank you, brother. I like it very much."

Brother. She believed he was who he said he was. That was progress, right?

Somehow the awkwardness didn't immediately dissipate. Thor cleared his throat and sat down, trying to force his tongue to work.

"I... I would very much like to get to know you better," he said. "I grew up with stories of your campaigns and I'd be very interested to hear you talk about them. If you wanted to."

She sat down opposite him. Somehow he felt a like a small rodent cowering in front of a large cat.

"Any in particular?"

He hesitated. Which would be the least disturbing? One with few actual battles in it. Or at least few civilians.

He considered asking about how she got Mjölnir, but figured it might be a sore subject. Every time he came down here, the hammer whined at him, plaintive and sad. He wished he could make her understand why he couldn't take her back just yet.

"Tell me about the Vanaheim skirmishes."

"What stories do you know about them? I'll confirm and deny as needed."

"Well... The Vanir were being attacked on multiple fronts, so they called on Asgard for assistance."

"Wrong. Wrong right away. They insisted they had it under control. We made the decision to go and fight. Your mother tried to tell us that we were not wanted."

Well, that was different to how he'd always understood it.

"Why didn't they want you to help?" he asked, lost. "You turned the tide of the invasion."

She rolled her eyes, properly animated now.

"They had some ridiculous notion that we weren't doing it out of the goodness of our hearts but as a show of force. That we'd lord it over them for centuries that we had helped and therefore they owed us. Of course, if I'd known that Father was going to get all soft-hearted over the emissary sent to reason it through, I probably wouldn't have bothered."

Frigga. Thor had always known that his parents met during negotiations, but he hadn't known it was as part of the fighting. He'd assumed it was afterwards. Trade deals and so on.

"So how did you convince them to let you help?"

"We didn't. We just showed up. The ordinary soldiers were happy enough to have reinforcements. And once it's done, it's done."

It was so different to what he'd always been told, about the note from Vanaheim asking all friendly realms to help, how Asgard was the only one to answer the call while Jotunheim and Alfheim stayed out of it.

Why hadn't Mother told him that? Why had she let him believe so many lies?

Father, yes, he could believe that. Father always knew best. But he trusted his mother. It was awful to think that she'd been hiding things from him all these years.

"I like that you call it a skirmish," Hela said mildly. "It was barely that. Marauders, you know. Picking on a soft touch. It only lasted about a day and a half before they fled."

"And was Vanaheim very angry?"

"Oh, yes. But then Father offered to make their diplomat queen and suddenly everything was fine. Funny that, really."

Something cold settled into Thor's stomach.

Had... Had Odin even asked her? Or had be just decided things, like he always did?

Of course, this was assuming he could trust anything Hela was saying...

"I'd love to know what they claim about those days," Hela said. "I realise I'm likely not allowed any books for fear that I make some kind of papery weapon, but surely under your supervision, I could see some?"

Thor couldn't immediately see a problem with that, though Loki probably would.

"Anything in particular?"

She frowned, thinking, tapping her fingernails against the table. The surface was covered in little scratch marks, like she was counting something. Maybe trying to keep track of the days.

"Well, just as an example, what did they tell you about the Valkyries?" she asked.

Thor blinked at her.

"I thought they came before your time," he said. "Millennia ago."

Not for the first or last occasion, they looked at each other in confusion.

"They haven't told you about the mutiny?"

"No. They... They were disbanded."

The change in atmosphere was instant, Hela looking away.

"I hate this table," she said. "The stone is cold and the minerals in it glitter annoyingly. I realise I can't change it, but couldn't I at least have a cloth to cover it?"

"I'll do my best."

"I expect you have lots of things to be getting on with."

Dismissed.

And with so many questions.


	46. Chapter 46

The Valkyries were legends, but they were from a bygone era. They'd been Asgard's elite warriors during the early days of expansion but then they'd...

Well, they'd...

Thor didn't know. Retired, he supposed. He'd never asked. It was like not asking what happened to the people who built the palace. They lived their lives, they did their work and now they... they weren't around anymore.

But Hela had talked about a mutiny. He'd never heard about anything like that.

A mutiny against who? Against her? Were they forcibly disbanded for disobeying?

Or had something worse happened?

Who could he trust to tell him?

Leaving the day's council meeting a little earlier than usual, Thor made his way to the gatekeeper's watch tower. Heimdall knew everything. It was merely a case of asking the right questions.

He used to come up here all the time, drawn equally to looking out over the cosmos and to the enigmatic guard of the whole realm. Maybe he'd even had a little crush on Heimdall for a while. Not that he'd ever admit it...

Of course, his arrival was not a surprise, pleasant or otherwise, but maybe the reason behind it would be.

"I need to ask you about the Valkyries," Thor said, pacing the polished floor.

"I thought you knew of them," Heimdall said, his expression impassive and calm.

"I thought I did, but Hela... Hela said something about a mutiny. I've never been told about anything like that before. What was she talking about? Did she imagine it? Or exaggerate or something?"

A brief pause, which put Thor horribly on edge because it meant Heimdall was reflecting on whether or not to tell him something. He really didn't want to have to pull rank and order it out of him. They were something close to friends after all.

"No, she didn't imagine it," Heimdall said, removing his ceremonial helmet. "But... But it wasn't a mutiny. Not really. Not in the sense that you're thinking of."

He sat down upon the steps of the dias, carefully putting his sword to one side and gesturing for Thor to join him.

It was a small platform. They couldn't look each other in the face at the angles they ended up at. Thor gazed out at the darkness, the twinkling stars and shining distant clouds, and wondered how he'd ever believed that space was empty.

"The Valkyries were an elite force and in time Hela became their general. And that was well and good, at first."

"At first?"

A long, heavy sigh. These were bad memories. Thor felt his whole stomach clench in sympathy.

"She asked them to swear fealty to her. Loyalty to her and only her. And many refused; they argued that they were loyal to Asgard, not to any one person. There was conflict. Accusations were thrown around. They didn't like the way she fought for one thing."

"In what way?"

"They felt she was heavy-handed. Too quick to resort to force without talking first. And Hela said they were weak fools who gave their enemies too much time to regroup."

Thor knew something was coming. Something bad. But he had to know, he had to understand.

"What happened to them?" he asked.

Heimdall's voice, seldom loud, had dropped to just above a murmur.

"Part of Asgard became hidden from me very suddenly. Clouded. It was very strange, but near one of the routes to Svartalfheim. I was suspicious."

Thor frowned, his eyes focussing on distant stars.

"Nothing lives in Svartalfheim," he said. "The Dark Elves fell thousands of years ago."

"Yes, but a realm of that size is often occupied by various groups, both for legitimate and nefarious reasons. If the soil grew crops more easily, there might be a thriving community there by now. But it was strange enough that Odin allowed Hela to take the Valkyries to see if there was anything of note to be found there."

"And was there?"

He wanted so badly to hear of a skirmish, an attempted invasion. A battle with losses.

"Hela returned badly injured. She claimed the Valkyries had cast the spell to lure her out there and had tried to assassinate her. She said she'd been forced to defend herself."

"And what did the Valkyries claim?"

A deep inhale. Out of the corner of his eye, Thor was almost convinced he could see Heimdall wiping his face. Tears? Despite it all, despite all he'd seen down the centuries?

"None returned. Most were found dead, some were unaccounted for. I think they escaped to Svartalfheim and fled from there."

That was what Thor had expected to hear, deep down, but all the same...

"So we don't know what really happened," he said. "Whether she attacked them or the other way around. We only have her word and that is turning out to be unreliable. What did Father do?"

"He believed his daughter. Of course he did. There had been tension brewing for some time. Some of the warriors were very ambitious and objected to Hela's appointment as their leader. While it was unlikely, there was a certain degree of doubt... But in retrospect, of course, I have my suspicions."

"And so does Father if he repressed the truth of what happened so thoroughly."

"He could hardly admit that his eldest was so hated by her soldiers that they tried to kill her."

"If that even is what happened," Thor pointed out. "It would take a lot of magic to hide from you."

Heimdall only nodded as Thor stood up, patting his shoulder in thanks.

Every time he thought he'd found out the worst thing, something else rose up.

She'd killed her own people. Because they'd tried to hold her back? Tried to curtail her bloodlust?

And worst of all, Father had known or at least suspected.

And he had done nothing to stop her doing it again.


	47. Chapter 47

Thor barely spoke at the start of dinner. Too despondent. Too many troublesome thoughts rolling around in his mind.

His view of his father was getting more and more tarnished by the day and that hurt. Yes, everyone made mistakes and everyone had weaknesses, but most people didn't make mistakes that lead to the deaths of hundreds of people and certainly not more than once.

He vaguely mentioned Hela's desire for a table cloth and access to books. And while Loki wasn't too happy about it, Frigga was fairly sure it was harmless.

Thor didn't have it in him to mention the Valkyries yet. For one thing, the incident would be before his mother came here. She might not know much about it.

There were other things she could comment on, though.

"Did you have much of a choice when it came to marrying Father?" he asked, knowing it was out of nowhere.

She laughed, apparently in surprise.

"What's brought this on?"

Might as well be honest.

"Hela was telling me about the Vanaheim skirmishes. How you didn't want Asgard's help with the marauders. And then she said Father smoothed things over afterwards by marrying you and I got worried... that maybe you hadn't wanted to or felt you couldn't say anything..."

"Stop," she said, holding up one hand. "It's true, Vanaheim was not happy with what happened. But without the intervention, things might have gone a different way. We don't know. But besides that, I was not forced into anything. I wasn't even surprised. Your father was very polite and respectful. He asked me personally in private and I chose to say yes."

Thor wasn't totally sure why he was so worried about this. He and Loki hadn't had a choice and things were working out for them. They were very fond of one another now.

Maybe it was because he couldn't imagine anyone choosing to marry this new man he was discovering, this man he didn't know who was his father.

"Hela lies," Frigga said, shaking her head. "You know that. She might not mean to always, but she takes her own views and biases as facts regardless."

"To be fair, most people do that," Loki said.

"Yes, but most people don't then try to maim people," Thor said.

Still, that was one thing off his mind. His mother hadn't been forced into anything. That was good.

But she had still lied to him. Hidden things from him, on his father's orders. When were they going to tell him all of this?

Were they even going to tell him all of it ever? Or did they think he didn't need to know?

"I'm going to look in on Father," he announced the moment his plate was cleared. "I haven't seen him since he fell asleep."

He was grateful that neither of them offered to join him.

It was always a strange experience seeing Odin like this. Asleep, pooled in a strange mist as his power grew back to normal potency. Frigga said he was aware of things, though. She liked to tell him about all that was going on in the realm. Keeping him up to date.

Thor sat by his bedside and took his hand, feeling his thin, papery skin and somewhat chill flesh.

At first, he didn't know what to say. Rarely did at the best of times, but especially not now.

He had questions, but he wouldn't be getting any answers today. Was there any point in asking them, then? Probably not.

"I wish you'd told me," he said softly. "I wish you'd trusted me with all this. It's... It's a lot, but I would rather know. Why did Hela do it? What set her off? I'm sure you know..."

Those were questions. There was no point in asking questions.

Despite himself, Thor found his eyes filling up, threatening to spill.

"I love you, Father," he said, sniffing hard. "But I'm not sure if I can trust you now. I'm not sure if we'll be able to fix this. And that... That breaks my heart. And I wish you were awake so you could just explain..."

A blink sent his tears splashing to the floor. He did his best to get a grip on himself, kissing his father's forehead.

"Sleep well."

He managed to get back to his rooms without being seen, certain he wasn't doing a good job of concealing his emotions. There was no hiding from Loki though. He took one look up from his book as Thor entered the room and set it aside.

"Don't say a word," he said. "You can explain when you feel better."

Thor sighed.

"I'm afraid I'm not sure when that will be," he admitted.

"Well, then, I'll just have to help. What hardship."

Just about managing a smile, Thor let Loki lead him to the bedroom.


	48. Chapter 48

Thor wasn't sure quite what he expected, but he was a little surprised to be put on his stomach, shirt off while Loki straddled his hips and set about trying to work some of the tension out of his shoulders.

It wasn't the most practised of massages, but it was good and strong and Thor felt a lot more relaxed afterwards. Relaxed enough to ask for something he had wanted for a long time but had been shy to request.

"Can I do your hair?"

Loki chuckled behind him.

"What exactly do you want to do to it? Not cut it, surely?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. Just... brush and braid it."

It didn't seem like Loki really understood his reasons, but he agreed and sat in front of Thor on the bed. He let down his hair from the looped tails he had it in and Thor ran his fingers through it gently before taking up the brush. It was something Loki had brought from Jotunheim, a silver frame decorated with iridescent shell, bristles of bone with softened, curved ends to protect his scalp.

It was good for Thor to lose himself in something like this, something gentle. Soft.

He knew what Loki's hair felt like, of course; he ran his fingers through it on a regular basis. But getting to properly smooth it out, divide it into three shining sections and begin the gentle rhythm of plaiting... It was calming. He wasn't sure why, exactly, but it was.

And over much too soon. He was almost tempted to brush it all out and start again, but he feared Loki might find that over-strange. He didn't want to worry him any more than he already had.

Instead he carefully tied the end and placed a soft kiss to the nape of Loki's neck, chuckling when Loki flopped back against him and reached back to trail his fingers down his arm.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Yes. A bit. Thank you."

"Well, I'm not finished with you yet this evening. I thought all that close physical contact might get you worked up enough to ravish me. Alas, it seems I am not so charming as I thought..."

Thor huffed, nipping another kiss to the skin just below his ear.

"If I ravished you every time I found you charming, we would never get anything done."

Loki's throat buzzed with laughter, tilting his head to the side to give Thor more access, and hummed with interest as Thor ran his hand down his torso and began undoing the ties of his trousers.

"How do you want me?" he asked.

"Like this, for now. But with these removed."

Easily done, with a little help. Thor could feel his own growing arousal, but remained clothed, pulling Loki into his lap and easing his legs apart.

"I'm curious," Loki said.

"So am I, though I imagine about different things. I am wondering if you share the ability some women have of being able to climax more than once in one session."

"Hmm. I certainly have managed it more than once a night as an adolescent, but I'm not sure if I could without any break. Perhaps I could. How do you intend to test this?"

His words were clinical, but already his voice was thickening, his breathing heavier as Thor ran gentle hands up his thighs and gentler fingers over the soft mound from which his cock was already standing.

"Why, by experimenting, of course. If you're willing?"

He ended his question with a daring rub inwards, grinning at the clear evidence of arousal he found there, the way Loki sighed happily.

"Mmm, yes. Yes, let's try. Though if I grow demanding and insatiable after this then know it is all your fault."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take," Thor murmured, letting one of his fingers slip inside.

It was a very different angle to what they'd done before. He couldn't get very deep, but he could rub upwards, the way he thought Loki liked best. And, of course, he was better able to watch as Loki's stomach muscles contracted around quick breaths, leaning back to rest more of his weight on Thor.

"Another," he said. "Don't tease me like this."

"Be careful what you wish for."

All the same, he did as asked, able to reach a little further inside, shaking his wrist just slightly so as not to cramp.

"Is that better?"

"A little."

"Just want to be full?"

"Mmm... Oh, there. There, that's good."

His cock was leaking, but by unspoken agreement they hadn't touched it. Things would be over too soon if they did, and where would be the fun in that?

Thor sped up, feeling Loki sink his nails into his arm, like he was trying to hold on, crying out slightly, rolling his hips. He was close to the edge, surely, he had to be. He just needed a little more...

The frustration was evident. Loki was trying, reaching for it, chasing it...

It seemed to come almost as a surprise, sudden clenching and something like a yelp, an unmistakable spurt from his cock. Still hard, though. Good, good.

"Right," Thor said. "One moment."

He eased Loki forward, letting him half lie on the bed, and freed his aching cock. Loki's flesh was extra warm, his behind up off the mattress, his cunt just visible and so tempting.

"Do you want to stop or do you want more?"

Loki's back heaved. Had that been too much? They could stop.

But then he moved his knees further apart, arching his back downwards.

"More..."

Alright. A brief check with his fingers and then Thor lined up and pushed in, bullying past the slight resistance of the continued rippling of Loki's body from his first orgasm. He set a quick pace immediately - quick but not brutal, even if their skin occasionally slapped together.

"Mmm..." Loki moaned, resting his head on his arms. "Oh, Thor..."

"You can do it, Loki. You can do it again for me, I know it, come on."

"Ah... Hah, ah..."

The braid was laid across the bed like a rope, Loki's tunic rucked up nearly to his armpits, his cheek deep violet. He was so beautiful and pleasured and Thor would make him climax again if it took all night.

He took hold of his hips gently, adding just a little more force and that had Loki moving up to all fours, pushing back and crying out.

"Are you getting close, Loki? Come on, let me feel it."

"Trying..."

He was resting his weight on one hand, his other on his cock and Thor was almost sure he could feel each stroke in another brief tightening.

How he managed to hold out, he'd never know, but eventually they spilled almost together, Loki sobbing with the effort and rolling over to be kissed nearly senseless.

"You did so well," Thor said. "Was that alright? Not too rough?"

"Just intense. But good intense."

That was positive. Still, they were a little sweaty and sticky now and Thor was happy to comply when Loki suggested a bath before bed.

Doubly so with the promise of getting to wash Loki's hair for him.


	49. Chapter 49

Time passed. Thor saw Hela nearly every day as weeks grew and Odin had slept for nearly two months. Frigga was uneasy; it very seldom lasted this long.

Some days, Hela was relatively calm and reasonable and the things she said had more than a scattering of grains of truth. Other days, she was irritable and told more and more outlandish tales.

Loki was his constant confident and adviser in a way Thor had never dreamed would come to be when they first met. He'd been back at the parenting books and they'd agreed to try out a technique of rewarding good behaviour rather than punishing bad. When she was calm and truthful, Thor made sure he got Hela the little trinkets she asked for. 

Within reason, of course. He could bring her clothes and soft furnishings, cushions and wall hangings, but nothing metal or sharp or breakable.

It was fairly evident that she knew what was going on. She tested boundaries sometimes. Experimented with how far she could push him before he decided to leave her be for the day.

Still, he genuinely thought he was making some progress.

For one thing, he'd learned that when she wasn't trying to use her tongue as a whip, she could be very witty and funny. He almost hated letting himself laugh at her jokes though. She was a killer and a liar. He shouldn't enjoy her company, not even the smallest amount, sister or not.

Sometimes in the night, he saw the faces of the people he had glimpsed in Mjölnir's memories, their terror and anguish, and he would wake and hate himself. Offering mercy seemed like disrespecting their memory. Or at least it did in the dark of night when bad thoughts refused to be chased away and Loki slept apparently peacefully beside him.

He was still convinced there had to have been some kind of catalyst that had set her murderous plans in motion. Not anything that would justify it, of course - nothing could do that - but he couldn't believe it was just... random. That it had just been a whim.

Hela refused to talk to him whenever he tried to bring it up for one thing. Like she was almost ashamed. Almost. In her own mind, maybe she could justify everything else, all those attacks on military targets, but maybe... Maybe not that. Not attacking those who could not fight back.

He was sometimes wary of talking about it to Loki for fear of upsetting him, but he'd learned his lesson. No secrets. There was no point since Loki could always tell when something was bothering him. Besides, talking things through often helped him make sense of things.

"What was going on at that time?" Loki asked as they got dressed one morning, after Thor had spent all their bathing time musing on the subject. "There were the peace talks, but what else?"

"I have no idea. I'd been born, I suppose. That had probably upset her."

"Yes, but if her hate was with you, she'd have tried to kill you, wouldn't she?"

That was a fair point, though Thor wondered if perhaps her rage had built up over time until she snapped.

"Was there anything being negotiated in the peace talks that might have seemed untenable?" Loki asked. "Some reason to keep the war going?"

Thor frowned, pulling his boots on.

"Maybe," he said. "I'm not sure. Mother wasn't there and nor was Heimdall and I doubt Hela will talk to me of it."

"And the All-Father won't have kept records?"

Hmm... It was certainly worth a try. He didn't tend to go through his father's papers even when he was occupying his office. He was wary of upsetting any filing systems he didn't know about. Odin tended to be very cross if things were moved around unnecessarily.

He stood in front of a whole room of papers and tried not to be exasperated before even beginning. Right, stuff from a thousand years ago, where would that be...?

It took him a long time to realise that there was no overarcing chronology and that rather affairs relating to each of the nine realms was in its own section.

And when he finally found the Jotunheim papers, right at the back of a cupboard, the one he wanted rather jumped out at him. It was the only vellum scroll he could see, which meant it had never been transcribed, not even by the most trusted secretary.

This was private. And as he unrolled it on the desk, he realised it had been written by Laufey himself.

 _Borsson,_ it read, no politeness here. _I write with news and a proposal._

_My illness has turned out to be the sudden culmination of an unknown pregnancy. The child is well, but very small. The healers have confirmed to me that he has an otherwise harmless condition which means he will not grow larger than a tall Asgardian._

_I think this is an opportunity, if not a sign. At just the time when our negotiations have stumbled, I have been given a gift. Perhaps we might unite our houses._

_I suggest that my newborn child, whom we have named Loki, be wed to your heir, Hela of Asgard._

Thor blinked at the page several times. Wed him to Hela? But she had already been fully grown when Loki was born. That was ridiculous.

And then it seemed not at all ridiculous. After all, back then, she had been the future Queen.

They wanted Loki on the throne. That's what they cared about. They wanted his children to rule Asgard in the future. Marrying the second child wouldn't achieve that, regardless of how much more sense it made given their ages.

And he could imagine just what Hela's reaction would have been. Horror that Jotunheim would be able to take Asgard by stealth. Disgust at even the thought of being intimate with someone she considered lesser in every way. Violated that her father planned to sell her off for peace, for that would be how it would have seemed.

This was it. This was why she'd committed the massacre, as an attempt to make the marriage impossible.

And instead she'd been locked up and held almost hostage and stripped of her claim to the throne. Jotunheim had won. She struck out violently and viciously but they gained the final victory.

Maybe she'd planned to pin it on someone else, some unknown assailant or to leave no witnesses, or maybe she hadn't really thought it through but had just ploughed in, only caring that the war continued and there were no more peace talks. No more talk of marriage.

No wonder Odin hadn't told him about the betrothal if that was the last reaction he'd got to broaching the subject.

Unsure what else to do, he interrupted Loki's work in the hospital and took him to read it for himself.

The sharp inhale told him that he hadn't known of the original plan either.

"You think this is why she did it," he said quietly. "Because my parents had an idea on how to get rid of me."

Thor looked at him in surprise.

"I'm sure it wasn't like that," he said carefully.

"The very instant I was born, they were already trying to marry me off. They already had their heir and spare for Jotunheim. I was surplus to requirements."

He rolled to scroll up, shaking his head as though to clear it.

"Still," he said. "I'm glad it was you I married instead."

"So am I."

He had an air of melancholy about him and Thor awkwardly pulled him into a hug, pressing a kiss to his hair. Was this the point to admit something important?

That he thought he'd fallen in love over the last few months?

"Loki, I..."

He felt the muscles in his back tense. Oh, dear. Oh, no, was this unwanted? Had he misread the situation?

"Should the Bifrost be doing that?" Loki asked.

Thor whirled around to see where Loki was pointing, out the window, the sky alight with the rushing colours of the rainbow bridge.

No. No, it really wasn't supposed to be doing that.


	50. Chapter 50

Without discussion, they sprinted for the Bifrost. Thor wasn't sure what exactly had happened, but he doubted it was good. Either they had an unexpected guest or....

Or someone had left unexpectedly.

"Fetch the queen," Thor hollered at some lost-looking einharjar as the passed. "Defensive positions. Be alert."

"My lord, we saw... We saw the Lady Hela. Princess Hela, right here before us."

No wonder they seemed like they'd seen a ghost.

It was what he'd feared and yet having it confirmed was awful. She was loose. How was she loose? They'd been so careful.

Loki kept running while Thor paused, laying a hand on the man's shoulder.

"I will explain everything once this crisis is over," he said, as though he wasn't terrified. "Fetch the queen and remain calm."

He hurried after Loki along the bridge, the whirling sound of the transportation machinery growing louder and louder.

The gold floor was streaked with blood. Heimdall had clearly defended the Bifrost with his life as always, and Thor had a brief moment of utter horror until he saw Loki already beginning to heal the worst of his wounds.

"She's gone to Jotunheim," Heimdall groaned, clutching his side. She'd run him through, but it looked like she hadn't hit anything too vital. That seemed deliberate. Wanting him alive? Why?

So she could come back?

"Help him," Thor said to Loki. "My mother is on her way. Then follow me if you can. I think I'll need help."

"You can't just go to Jotunheim like that! You'll freeze!"

"There's no time," Thor said, half running towards the edge. "I love you, by the way. I hoped to find a better time to tell you, but... Well."

He didn't wait for a reaction, just leapt forward and tried to brace himself for both impact and chill.

The freezing air cut into his lungs, sharp and harsh, but there was no time to worry about that. Away from the melted snow of the Bifrost site, there were distinctly footprints heading off towards the mountains, just visible in the moonlight. Thor gave chase. What was she doing? Why come back here?

He hoped the unexpected arrival would have warned the Jotuns. Surely the bright colours would stand out in the darkness of the night for one thing.

He tried to tell himself of the advantages he had over his sister as he rushed onward, his eyes adjusting to the gloom a little. Strong muscles. General fitness. Help on the way.

Somehow it didn't fill him with confidence. He hadn't even brought a weapon, but he could feel...

Yes. Yes, that wasn't just his anxiety talking, but someone else's. Something else's. Mjölnir. Hela had brought Mjölnir. And that gave him options.

He held out a hand and called, just testing, feeling a leap of answer, a recognition, which was almost immediately followed by an annoyed cry.

Mjölnir flew round a chunk of rock just ahead of him and thumped into his waiting hand.

And then he was almost pulled off his feet as Hela evidently tried to summon her back.

Norns, she was strong... Thor skidded, trying to dig in his heels but only succeeding in sending snow everywhere, sparks erupting from his hands as he held on, reaching for that hot inner power to fight back.

Hela had to be close if he'd heard her so clearly. Maybe if they could just talk she'd see reason.

"Hela!" he yelled. "Stop! I understand. I know why you did it."

The pull suddenly stopped, leaving him sprawling backwards in the snow, clutching Mjölnir to his chest.

Hela loomed into view, wearing her full armour including the spiked helmet. Dressed for battle, just like in the pictures. She couldn't have looked further from her old portraits, though. The anger, the hurt, even a hint of fear in her face were miles away from the peaceful expressions she'd always been drawn with.

"You know nothing," she spat. "You have no idea."

Thor scrambled to his feet, wrapping Mjölnir's leather strap around his hand for added security.

"They wanted to unite the houses, didn't they? The royal families of Asgard and Jotunheim. They wanted you to marry Loki and you didn't want to."

"I was told that I was marrying him. It was a fact. There was no choice. I was being given away, sold to an infant who would know his whole life that he owned me. All those years, all the times I'd bled for Asgard, for my future, my power, worthless in an instant. Reduced to the wife of a third prince, only worth whatever monsters I could birth from him. No better than a brood mare."

She was talking. That was good. That meant she wasn't hurting anyone.

"It's alright," Thor said. "It's over. It's not going to happen. Leave the Jotuns be and come home."

She shook her head vehemently.

"They took Asgard by the back door," she said. "They took me out of the way and got into your bed instead. Can't you see they're stealing from us? They're taking what is rightfully ours. So I intend to take Jotunheim as recompense, though I fear it will be of little use once I'm done."

"Hela, no. You can't do this."

A look of confusion and then a laugh, the same awful laugh he heard in his nightmares, the way she'd laughed before killing indiscriminately.

"Who will stop me? You?"

Thor steeled himself, getting into a defensive stance. Like they were just sparring. They were just circling each other, nothing was going to happen...

He had to keep telling himself that to keep the rising panic at bay.

"Yes. If it comes to it. This is wrong and deep down, I think you know it is."

He watched her face twist from amusement to fury. 

And then the air was suddenly full of knives.


	51. Chapter 51

A semi-translucent wall of green erupted in front of Thor's body, shielding him from the barrage as he winced away. One by one, the knives vanished out of existence.

Summoning physical objects was not easy. That had taken a lot of energy.

"What's your plan, Hela?" Thor called as Loki came to his side, lowering his shield cautiously, out of breath from sprinting after them.

She still had one arm outstretched towards them, an obvious threat.

"Laufey stole my future," she said. "He tried to cut me off in marriage and then he had me imprisoned and robbed of my birthright..."

"You did that to yourself! You massacred innocent people! Something had to be done to protect everyone, you included."

"I don't need protected!"

Thor could feel the world pressing upon him. He had to prevent this. He had to save everyone, choose his words carefully.

"Hela, if you do this, we won't be able to hold off their attacks. They'll be within their rights to retaliate and burn Asgard to the ground. It's not worth the risk."

Her eyes blazed with rage, turning towards the Jotun palace.

"I don't intend to leave them with enough people to fight back. Prevention is better than cure. You have to destroy the nest if you want to stop an infestation."

She crouched, laying her other hand on the ground, straight through the snow. What was she doing?

The ground shook beneath their feet suddenly, Thor's eyes widening, his heart thumping hard.

"The volcano!" he yelled. "She's going to force an eruption."

Loki stared at him and then fired a spell directly upwards, blinding green light filling the sky. A warning beacon?

Better than nothing, Thor supposed.

He took a few shaky steps forward, concerned about the stability of the ground but managing to keep his footing. Surely he could still talk her down.

"Stop. This won't solve anything. It's not going to help."

"It will help me feel better."

Her voice was strained, shaking with effort. Maybe she couldn't do it? Maybe even for her, this was too much?

"It wasn't Laufey's fault that you've been imprisoned. He just wanted peace."

"He wanted Asgard at his feet!"

Loki threw a bolt of energy at her and Hela barely blinked as she shielded herself. Thor sincerely hoped that had been a warning shot rather than an attempted incapacitation. Otherwise, they might be in deep trouble.

All the same, the shaking was subsiding a little, Hela's eyes clenching, her body swaying like she was close to fainting and then gasping to a stop.

"Still weak," she muttered, eyelids fluttering, grimacing with effort. "I need... something more."

And then her eyes fell on Mjölnir, moving to her full height and holding out her hand.

"Give me the hammer," she said. "I need it."

Thor hurriedly took a few steps back.

"No," he said helplessly. "No, you can't."

"It's mine and I need it. You stole it from me. Give it back."

She wasn't even advancing on him, just watching, ready to pounce.

"She doesn't want to go with you."

A cocked head, confusion.

"She? It's just an object, Thor. It doesn't have wants. Give it to me, or I shall take it."

"No!"

"Fine."

He didn't have time to brace. Mjölnir whined in his grasp as he seized her handle, gripping hard. Hela narrowed her eyes, reaching out and tugging...

The hammer flew, yanking Thor's arms almost out of its socket, the leather spiralling out from his hand.

It didn't happen in slow motion, but he felt as though he was watching from far away, the handle slipping his grasp, the strap unraveling from where he'd wrapped it, the realisation that he'd twisted it around his fist in just the wrong place...

There was a loud snapping sound and Thor's vision went white for a moment, the taste of blood in his mouth.

The pain was searing, a gutteral yell torn from his throat, snatching his hand to his chest as Mjölnir screamed and flew from him, distantly noting how it was limp where the bones and ligaments of his fingers had shattered.

In the same moment, Loki began a barrage of attacks, seeming panicked especially when Hela shrugged them off and blasted him backwards, leaving him sprawled on the ground. She turned back towards the palace, the volcano.

"I'll get to you later, runt."

In the distance, on the edge of his mind, Thor thought he could hear trumpets sounding. An alert, perhaps. An evacuation. He could only hope.

Actually, no. He could do something else. There was always something else.

Staggering forward, he aimed a kick at the back of Hela's knee. Inelegant, but effective, making her stumble and have to catch herself. They needed time. More time for everyone to get to safety. Seconds might count.

Loki threw some kind of magical rope at her from his prone position, trying to bind her, crying out with the effort.

"Shock her!" he yelled. "Use your lightning!"

But he didn't have Mjölnir... He couldn't do it without her.

"I can't!"

"Thor, I won't be able to hold her..."

A second blast broke the ties and sent Thor spiralling backwards, screaming as he fell on his broken wrist.

Behind him, Hela growled, low and furious.

"Oh, Thor. Give up, little brother. You know you can't beat me. They've kept you soft. Kept you weak. But don't worry. I'll sort everything out like I always did. You'll learn once this is over. I'm doing what's best."


	52. Chapter 52

Pain. Blood. Pressure in his ribs. Thor had been injured before, but he'd never had the floor wiped with his face like this.

Rolling over was agony. Opening his eyes hurt even.

And the ground was heating up... The snow wasn't just melting but beginning to evaporate, steam rising all around him as he groaned his way to sitting, an instant mist.

He couldn't make Loki out, but he knew where he was. His family was at risk and for all he didn't think they cared for him, he was going for defend them. He was desperately throwing magic, blooms of green erupting in the clouds, meeting Hela's answering, paler shards, like spears shattering his attacks.

And the occasional real spear too. They were clattering on the newly exposed rock. And then he heard a grunt of effort, a shriek of pain.

Loki...

The fear in his heart turned suddenly to fury.

He distantly felt his hand burn as he hauled himself upright, but it barely registered alongside the heat coming from within him. His own magic, raw and strong and undirected other than by his anger.

He yelled something. Maybe it was meant to be Loki's name, or "no!" or "stop!" or even "leave my husband alone!" but it came out as a furious shout, the sky parting to bring down one bolt, two, three, four, unaimed but numerous.

A rock exploded to his left as electricity earthed in it, sending shrapnel everywhere, cutting into his arm; a hailstorm erupted all around them, freezing cold, scattering some of the steam out of his way.

Loki lay to one side, panting, a spike lodged in his shoulder. A better aim and she'd have hit his heart.

Thor _roared._

The darkness was lit up as sparks crackled all over his body, the air thick and tingling with it, thunder answering his call and booming all around.

He saw Hela stand, Mjölnir pulsing with power in her grasp. Drawing the lava upward, directing it to the mountain.

With her other hand, she aimed a blast of magic at him, that strange sickly green colour flowing from her hands. No shield to protect him this time.

It rushed across his flesh, burning him a little, but the lightning was stronger. Like a second skin, protecting him.

A knife flew past his face, another grazing his thigh, but he barely noticed them, blasting a few out of the air like they were no more than flies.

Hela snarled, frustrated, hurling more and more at him as Thor took a step forward, fists clenched, huge white hailstones bouncing all around them, and concentrated...

Lightning forked down from above them and Hela shielded herself, audibly straining to resist. Another bolt, another, breaking down her defence, a scream as the tongue of one of them caught her from the side.

The next strike made the ground shake, blue-white flashes spinning out from Thor's whole body. He crackled with it. The air swirled, a storm pivoting around him, waiting to do his bidding.

Waiting to destroy for him.

Distantly, he realised the ground wasn't hot any more. He looked at his good hand, glowing with power, and then to Hela. She was scrambling backwards, her spell interrupted...

And fear in her eyes.

Somewhere in the depths of his rage, part of Thor woke up. An important part.

He didn't see Hela any more. He saw a scared little girl, desperate for love and approval, needing someone to see that something wasn't right, she needed help...

She'd done terrible things. No one would blame him if he killed her now. She'd hurt Loki. It would be self-defence.

But he'd blame himself if he let it end like this.

His power subsided, resting within his heart again, like the tide going out.

He staggered forward to where she'd fallen, summoning Mjölnir to his intact hand and tying her to his belt with a poor slip knot.

Kneeling in front of his sister, Thor awkwardly pulled her into a one-armed hug that was part comfort and part restraint.

"Stop," he murmured. "Please stop."

A shuddering sob.

"Kill me. You can. You should. I'm dangerous."

"No. I still have hope for you."

She pulled back, staring at him.

"Why?"

He didn't have a chance to reply. A yellow glow suddenly enveloped them and Hela slumped forward, unconscious.

Frigga stepped out of the darkness. She seemed drained, holding one arm outstretched.

"I've got her," she said, hoarse. "I've got her. Panic over. See to your husband."

As it turned out, his husband rather saw to him. Loki had managed to heal his own wound to some extent, though his shirt was distressingly wet with blood, and pulsed healing - or at least pain killing - magic into Thor's arm.

"Are they alright?" he murmured. "The palace... I can't bear to look."

Thor steeled himself, preparing for the worst, before looking over his shoulder. There was a faint orange glow out there, like some magma had broken through the surface, but no flows that he could see. Still, the sheer heat...

"I'm not sure," he said honestly. "Either we've stopped it just in time or we were a second too late."

Loki loomed back into his vision, eyes damp.

"You did it, not us," he said.

"You held her back," Thor insisted. "You bought time for the evacuation. And she'd have struck me down easily if you hadn't shielded me."

A blink, tears splashing down indigo cheeks.

"I... I do too."

"What?"

"I love you too. So much. I'm not sure I really knew that I did. It grew in me so slowly."

Thor kissed him, unsure of what else to do.

Together they staggered back to the Bifrost, more impeded by clinging to one another than by their injuries.

To Thor's surprise, Heimdall seemed more or less unscathed. No wonder Frigga was exhausted if she'd healed him so thoroughly.

"The Jotun royals," Thor asked urgently. "Are they safe?"

They watched as Heimdall's eyes unfocused, seeing far away.

"They've all left the palace. They're sheltering some distance away. I see Laufey and Helblindi, Byleister..."

"Farbauti?" Loki asked.

Heimdall paused and Thor's heart sank.

"I do not see him, but the royal family do not appear overly worried. Perhaps he was not at home."

That seemed to calm Loki's nerves a little as they limped to the infirmary, putting themselves into Eir's expert care.

Outside of immediate danger, the reality of Thor's injuries began to become apparent. His wrist was broken, ribs shattered, burns and lacerations on his arms, cuts and bruises everywhere. It didn't feel as though any inch of his flesh had escaped unscathed.

They told him he'd sleep a while before the world went suddenly but comfortingly dark.


	53. Chapter 53

Someone was stroking Thor's hair. That was nice. That was peaceful. He'd very much like that to continue.

A rush of horror suddenly rolled throw him, remembering all that had happened, what he'd seen and done... It almost hadn't felt like him. The storm was its own entity, like a second spirit that lived within his body and obeyed his commands but was still wild and barely tethered.

"Where's Hela?" he asked, sitting up urgently.

Loki shushed him, stroking his face, easing him back down to the bed.

"She's restrained and safe. Your parents have her. Your Father woke up two days ago."

Thor almost launched himself out of bed again.

"Two days?! I've been asleep for two days?"

More shushing, more stroking.

"More like five, darling. You used a lot of energy up and you were badly hurt. You needed to rest and recover."

Loki gradually told him everything. How Hela had built an escape kit under their noses - soil from her homeland taken from the fern pot, runes carved with her fingernails into the table and hidden beneath her cloth, her own blood... She'd been recharging her magic, searching for cracks in the magical walls over days and weeks until she could finally breach them.

"That's my fault," Thor said. "I gave her those things."

"None of us suspected," Loki insisted. "And no serious harm was done in the end."

No one had died, at least. There was burning damage to the Jotun palace, though the obvious sight of Loki's magic had given them enough warning to escape on time. Buildings could be rebuilt, furniture replaced - the people had been saved. That's what they'd set out to do. That's what mattered.

In fact, Laufey and Farbauti intended to visit for the first time in centuries and thank them for their actions. As if they could have done anything else. It would have meant war. Again.

After a final check by Eir, he was allowed to leave the hospital, his muscles still aching despite the bedrest.

"The people need answers," Loki said quietly. "Rumours are swirling about Hela and what really happened. Some of them even think she rose from the dead to defend Asgard from some threat."

Thor groaned. This wouldn't be fun. Necessary though. Overdue.

Working on a declaration was something he could do with his arm in a protective cast for most of the day. Trying his best to explain what had happened and why. The people deserved to know the truth.

He was forgetting, though. Odin was awake and had the final say. And he was not best pleased about anything that had transpired while he slept.

"We were trying to help," Thor said for what seemed like the millionth time. "You were exhausted."

"I had plans in place for when she woke up, professional healers who could talk to her and gently begin helping her."

"Well, if you'd so much as mentioned that to anyone, we could have put that into action, but you didn't. You never tell anyone anything. Hela is a liar, but you're not much better a lot of the time."

When had his father started looking so old? Well, not old as such, but tired. Odin rubbed his eyes where they'd watered, sniffing hard.

"I did what I thought was best."

It wasn't enough for Thor. He wanted to shout, to have a proper argument. But that wouldn't help. It would just make both of them more stubborn and grumpy than ever.

"I know," he said gently. "But we can do better. For Hela, for one thing. It's my fault that she got out, I take full responsibility for that. But we must tell the truth about her."

He offered the draft declaration that he and Loki had worked on together. They'd tried hard to make it clear and compassionate. Hela had done terrible things, but she was not well. That wasn't an excuse as such, but it certainly hadn't helped.

Odin read it slowly, his frown becoming more of a soft furrow of concern.

By the end, he was nodding slightly.

"May I?" he asked, reaching for a pen.

"Of course."

He added a paragraph to the bottom and passed it back for Thor to look at.

_As Allfather, I would like to apologise. I have used you, the good people of Asgard, as an excuse to lie and hide the truth. It is my shame. I was ashamed of what my daughter had done and what her actions said about me, ashamed that she had grown more and more ill below my notice and how I had neglected her. My son and his husband have shown me that honesty is the way forward._

_I hope you will accept my deepest apologies._

They would, Thor was sure of it. They loved him and this open humility and genuine remorse would help.

"How is she?" Thor asked.

"Doing better. It's easier now secrecy isn't vital. We can get more healers involved."

"Isn't every new person a potential risk?"

Odin smiled, but sadly.

"They're professionals, Thor. They know what they're doing more than we do."

Maybe there was still a little bit of chastisement there.

"She's very taken with you," Odin said softly. "She's talked a lot about how you could have killed her and didn't, how you were so determined to be kind to her, to listen to her. I fear... I fear I was not always capable of giving her that support."

"Will she get better?"

It was such a simple question, with such a complicated answer.

"They're not sure. But better is relative. She might improve, even if she cannot be cured."

A little hope was still hope.


	54. Chapter 54

Thor hadn't been fussed over quite so thoroughly since he was several years younger - and that had been rather a different sort of fussing - but he was hardly complaining.

Loki had laid him on his back and was very carefully not putting any weight on the remains of his bruises and being very gentle with his healing arm, not even really touching it.

Kisses seemed to be fair game though and Thor had no intention of calling a halt. He was recovering from injury still; he could bathe in the love of his husband for a while.

"I've been so lonely without you," Loki said. "Coming back here after dinner all alone... I could hardly bear it, knowing you were down in the hospital, hurt. If it was up to me, I'd have slept in the ward, but they wouldn't let me."

Thor hummed happily, feeling himself relaxing properly, even if he was being tickled by Loki's hair.

"You were hurt too," he pointed out. "Your shoulder."

"A flesh wound," Loki insisted. "It's barely left a mark, look."

Why was an exposed shoulder so erotic? Maybe it was the sense of anticipation of seeing everything else...

Still, there was a scar there, thin but unmistakable. Thor ran a careful finger along it, his heart aching.

"I should have protected you better," he said.

Loki rolled his eyes.

"I can handle myself, usually. Besides, what you did afterwards... I've never seen anything like that before."

Nor had Thor experienced it.

"I lost myself a little," he said quietly. "I was just so scared and angry. And then suddenly I wasn't anymore. It was strange."

"It was magnificent. You were incredible. And I even found myself thinking during it, you were also very, very attractive."

Thor laughed and just as soon groaned as something twinged in his side, getting tutted at for it.

"Well, in the event of further battles, perhaps I shall rely on stunning my enemies in in a rather different way."

He thought he could see how this night would progress and it looked very promising indeed. Of course, Loki insisted on carefully straddling his hips and applying salve to his wounds, such as they were now, his cool fingers soothing and arousing in equal measure.

As he gently ground his hips upwards, Thor was almost sure Loki was deliberately holding out on him, pretending he couldn't feel any kind of bulge beneath his thighs.

If he could make his face appear indifferent though, his body was only going to betray him all the more.

"I like your sleep clothes," Thor said, running a hand up Loki's calf but no further than that. "I'm not sure if I mention that enough. The fabric drapes so beautifully."

He let his eyes fall on the distinct outline of Loki's hardness, the folds of cloth pulled taut around it.

Loki looked down at him, a faux-concerned expression on his face.

"I'm not sure you're well enough for that," he said. "You'll have to convince me."

Ooh, a game. How fun.

"I know you wouldn't let me hurt myself," Thor murmured. "So if I lay here like this..."

"And I did all the work, is that it?"

"I am an invalid, after all."

Loki giggled slightly, definitely rocking forward and back a little bit, a little preview of what would follow.

"I don't think you'd really consider yourself an invalid until you'd lost an organ. Or two."

He was moving back though, undoing Thor's soft sleepwear just enough and rucking up his own. It felt strange, not seeing anything. Just feeling as Loki began lowering himself, biting his lip and breathing hard.

And then not moving at all. He settled down, reaching for his salve again and setting about healing Thor's bruised ribs. The faintest glow of magic moved across the surface of his skin, speeding up recovery.

Well, if Loki could wait, so could he, resting his head on his arms and feeling thoroughly spoiled. In here, safe in their bed together, he didn't have to worry about anything except Loki.

Worry wasn't the right word. He didn't have to be thinking about anything but Loki. Nothing else had to concern him.

Not that he could think about anything very much in their current position, especially once Loki started rolling his hips just slightly. Very, very slowly.

Turned out slow was very pleasant indeed, but also torturous. Thor moved his arms slightly, thinking to reach out and be more involved, but Loki stopped moving immediately with an amused look in his eye.

"You need to rest," he chastised.

Thor opened his mouth to protest, but then Loki started up that gentle motion again and that was a lot better than nothing. Fine. He could withstand this.

Gradually, Loki grew bolder, breath coming in little huffs as he sped his movements, going from a walk to a trot. Just fast enough that Thor kept feeling the start of the build towards orgasm but not fast enough to actually start going down that road.

And Loki was grinning down at him, his hand beneath his shift, clearly enjoying himself immensely.

The little growl of frustration got out without his permission.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Loki purred. "Do you need something?"

"Faster... Please, just a little bit."

"Well, as you asked so politely."

He planted a hand on the mattress between Thor's legs, leaning back, moaning at the new angle and beginning a quicker pace, one that had Thor almost thrashing immediately, so on edge as he was.

"Is that... Mmm, is that better?"

"Oh, Loki..."

It was clearly hard work, Loki tossing his hair out of his eyes, chest heaving.

No complaints when Thor moved this time, reaching for Loki's cock, stroking quickly, trying to bring him to the same level of desperation.

Pent up for days, no relief at all, that was Thor's excuse for spilling so quickly. Besides, he'd been teased mercilessly.

It was good though. The rush, the way Loki seemed so smug at having had such an effect, getting his revenge by stroking him just so...

Even softening, he enjoyed the sensation of Loki's pleasure.

Lying together afterwards, Thor was amazed to find he was tired. He'd just slept for five days! How could he possibly still be tired?

Maybe it was just feeling safe and comfortable and warm with Loki slumbering beside him.

Yes. That was probably it.


	55. Chapter 55

Chairs suitable for most Jotun visitors hadn't been used in Asgard for centuries. They took some finding, for one thing. And then rather a lot of dusting.

A new era of honesty and transparency had begun, though it was slow going. Understandably, a lot of people felt betrayed and misled to discover what had really happened to Hela. Others refused to believe what they were being told. It was going to take time to build trust again.

Still, Thor was fairly proud to be welcoming the Jotun royal family a few weeks after he was pronounced fully healed by Eir for their first visit to Asgard since his grandfather's day. He was determined that everything be perfect.

For a start, he wanted to demonstrate his developing relationship and prove that he was a worthy match for their son now. If they had any doubts, he wanted to assuage them. Thoroughly.

If he wasn't mistaken, Loki was a little nervous too. Maybe because he was going to find out exactly how badly damaged his childhood home was. Or maybe because he wasn't yet pregnant. Thor wasn't sure if that would be a surprise to his parents or not.

The real reason was a little unexpected, he had to admit. The morning of the visit, Loki let him do his hair in a long braid, Asgardian style, but leapt to his feet at the sound of a knock at their door. Like he was expecting something...

"What's that?" Thor asked when he returned, grinning and holding a large bundle wrapped in paper.

"This will be our first proper public appearance since our marriage. You said I could design our outfits."

That had been so long ago. Thor hadn't thought about that early conversation in so long. But he trusted Loki. Surely he'd had something tasteful made.

"I used the measurements of your dark red day wear for it. The one with the silver buttons."

Thor frowned slightly.

"That? It's a little tighter than what I normally wear. More fitted."

"Is it?" Loki asked innocently. "I hadn't noticed."

Thor grinned and planted a kiss on his cheek, all soft and smelling sweet from the bath.

Tightness was the least of his worries, it transpired.

"Where are the trousers?"

Loki was lacing himself into a slimmer-fitting version of the same... tunic? Robe?

"This is traditional Jotun costume," he said. "No breeches. It should cover everything you want covered."

Well... Well, it did, but even in his shortest breeches, Thor was unused to feeling his thighs rub together quite so much.

It looked better once Loki had pulled the ties for him though. Pleats became ruched, the shape of his body was revealed in a tasteful way. And the colour was beautiful, a dark blue so deep that it was almost black.

"It's lovely," Thor murmured. "Thank you."

All the same, the rushing wind from the Bifrost didn't half put a chill up around his knees when Laufey and Farbauti arrived.

How had he expected Farbauti to be? Well, he was an ambassador, so he'd be reserved and proper but polite and refined...

He wasn't expecting him to come barrelling through the portal to scoop Loki into a hug while Laufey stood by, looking more amused than anything else.

"Sweetheart! You look so well!"

"Of course I do," Loki protested. "Put me down. I'm very happy here. They feed me and everything."

Thor was ignoring his jape and practically glowing with pride as he greeted Laufey. Loki was happy here, with him. They were happy together despite all the odds.

"How is the palace?" he asked.

"Nothing that cannot be repaired. You gave us sufficient warning to leave."

This was all very polite, but there was tension still. They wanted guarantees that it would never happen again. That Hela wouldn't ever manage to slip out of her cell.

It was easier now Odin was awake, of course, and especially now they had healers helping her rather than Thor bumbling along with only advice from his mother and husband to help. They were wise, but they were not experts. Things were improving, slowly but steadily.

They went on a brief tour, poor Laufey and Farbauti having to duck rather a lot to fit through smaller corridors. They seemed quietly impressed by their quarters, the amount of fresh air, Farbauti gleefully pointing out the forests and distant waterfalls, the kinds of things he saw often and now his child lived amongst.

"We'll be heading up there soon," Loki said. "A little time away now Thor hasn't got quite so many responsibilities to worry about immediately."

They had vaguely mentioned maybe taking a camping trip alone, but it was beginning to look more and more likely now. They were looking forward to it. Loki had never been camping before, for one thing.

Both Laufey and Farbauti visibly winced when passing Hela's door. It was woven and interwoven with multiple protection spells. Thor was broadly used to the feeling now. He visited her often, every few days. Hela might seem to be growing calmer, but he still wasn't about to introduce her to his in-laws.

Most people only had to deal with an ill-advised comment at the wedding, not attempted murder.

Even dinner on high chairs wasn't too awkward with Frigga smoothing over any lingering tension that might have existed between Laufey and Odin. The war was a long time ago. Trust and respect and peace could reign now.

Thor wasn't sure the older generation would ever truly manage to move past it. Too much had happened, too many regrets. But the future was in his and Loki's hands.

The Jotun royals weren't staying the night. Somewhere in the palace, there would undoubtedly be beds large enough but... Well, they weren't ready for that just yet. It was back to the Bifrost, Loki hugging Farbauti in as much as that was possible considering he couldn't get his arms around more than about half of him.

"I fear I misjudged you, Odinson," Laufey said quietly, outwith their hearing. "My apologies."

"No," Thor admitted. "You saw me correctly. But I've changed since we last met. Married life has been good for me. I dare say I've grown up a little."

"You have many responsibilities now."

"That's true, but I wouldn't count Loki among their number. He's a joy, not a duty."

Such stilted conversation, but Thor was still thrilled when Laufey shook his hand, even if it was more of an arm-shake really.

Maybe he really was making progress.


	56. Epilogue

On the morning of their eighth anniversary, Thor kissed Loki good morning as he headed for the infirmary as usual but rather than going to his own work right away, he made his way to Hela's rooms.

She was misting her plants. Quite a collection now. Vines which spiraled their way up the wall and soft curling succulents. Nothing which required soil to grow. Frigga had brought them back from Vanaheim and knew exactly what kinds of food they required mixed into the water in order to thrive.

It was an old perfume bottle, he thought, that she used to spritz the mixture around the room. She could have done it by magic a long time ago, but Hela had gradually grown used to using her hands for everyday tasks.

She was doing a lot better these days, though they all knew she wasn't ever going to be without risk. There had been other escape attempts in the early days, violence against herself and others. Some days she seemed perfectly well, but other days there were relapses.

All the same, he was fairly certain that those episodes were growing fewer and further between. They even sometimes ate together as a family up here. Thor remained hopeful that one day she'd be able to come to the hall from time to time - under guard and with her magic repressed, of course.

Still, she kept busy. She took care of her plants, she read and she wrote a lot. Already from her new home, she'd written a reference guide to historic weapons complete with illustrations. She was a good artist. Thor was quite keen to encourage her to draw other things, less violent ones, but, well, one thing at a time.

She seemed happy to see him. That was usually a good sign. Usually meant she was having a well day.

"I wasn't expecting you this morning," she said mildly.

"I just wanted you to be the first to know some news. Loki thinks he might be pregnant."

He couldn't quite tell what Hela felt about it straight away. Surprised more than anything.

"I thought you were waiting."

"We were, but... Well, these things happen sometimes, don't they? And it's not confirmed yet anyway. There's... There's proper tests to do and so on."

Loki had downplayed it since he had mentioned it the night before, trying to sound nonchalant. Probably nothing. No sense in getting worked up.

All the same, Thor was feeling a little glimmer of excitement.

"You'll be a good father," Hela said, turning back to her plants, clearly hiding her face.

"Thank you. I hope so."

He'd learned over time that often it was best to wait for Hela to explain what was bothering her rather than pushing.

"Are you not worried?" she asked, plucking at a wayward tendril.

"What about?"

"We're half siblings, so your child will share some of the same blood as I have. What if it turns out... like me?"

That thought hadn't even entered his head, but she was right. For all he knew, there were inherited aspects to her illness and it hadn't necessarily all come from her mother's side.

"Then we'll love them and support them as best we can," he said.

She was nodding, her back still turned to him, but no longer seeming quite so nervous.

"I... I understand if it wasn't possible or if Loki didn't want me to," she said. "But I'd love to meet them. Some day."

"I hope you do. But he might be wrong. We shouldn't get too excited."

He failed miserably at following his own advice during the rest of the day, performing all his duties with a distinct spring in his step.

Would they look like him or like Loki? Or both? Maybe they'd have his eyes and Loki's complexion, or his hair and Loki's build, or any number of combinations of the two of them. A little boy or girl or neither of those two.

As such, it was a little difficult not to feel a pang of loss - which was ridiculous really, nothing had existed in the first place to be lost - when Loki told him it was just a mistake.

"Are you terribly disappointed?" Loki asked, telling him how bad he was at hiding his feelings.

"I'd just been thinking about all the things there are to look forward to. But no matter. It will happen when it happens. It's not like we were trying for it, after all."

Loki took his arm, squeezing it tight.

"I think it's better like this," he said. "It was a bit too much of a surprise maybe."

He was probably right.

"For one thing, I shall need... Oh, at least two years to design and decorate the nursery properly."

Thor chuckled, pulling him close for a proper kiss.

"I'm excited for when it happens," he said. "But I doubt we'll struggle to enjoy the wait."


End file.
